Help Me Fix This

[countrymom]

so I've had dcg since she was 6 months old. She is going to be 1 next month. Since I've had her, she is awful with seperation. When I mean awful, she can cry for up to an hour, until you pick her up or sit on the floor.

Yesterday it was bad. She will cry when she wakes up (I wait and don't pick her up) but she wants to be carried all the time and you don't she cries. I have to sit on the floor (and we all know thats not possible) she will hang onto my clothes, pull my shirt. If I go to the bathroom she cries. I tried talking to her when I'm in another room, did it for 2 weeks, didn't help. She doesn't play with other kids. yesterday after story time, we went for a walk to another dcp house to drop off her bowl. She was hysterically screaming because I wasn't moving the stroller and because I was on the porch, even thou she can see me.

So I talked to dad, she is like this at home. He is at a loss too. Except she will scream at night forever till you pick her up. When she's not crying she is acually really fun and pleasant, but we don't have that many good days.

She is now making the other 1 yr old cry like crazy too. I've looked at anxiety disorder, but nothing really stands out with helping her.

My sister comes every tues. and has always, so this dcg does know who she is, my sister noticed yesterday that she is very clingy to me, even thou I am not her mother. Her mom brought her before she even started care but it doesn't work. Oh she is also full time, so she should be over it.

Help me please, I have another 1 yr old starting next week, another easy baby, I don't want her crying so much that I can't take care of the other kids. She also doesn't like that I hold another child.

She is an only kid, but has pet, but mom won't say anythign to me about the issue but dad told me yesterday, its really affecting them at home too. And when they go places.

help!

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

Ok here is my take on this. I have a Great nephew and and niece both the same age as each other and as your DCG. And they both do the same thing.

WHY????

Because the babies are constantly held ALL the time because they cry.

They dont sleep through the night either.

They are so used to being passed around to someone else, all the time because no one wants to listen to them cry.

It drives me insane.

You either need to tell these parents that they are gonna have to **** it up and let her cry, and get her used to being un-held 24hrs a day, Or you cant watch her anymore.

[cheerfuldom]

Mark a date on the calendar. Talk to mom and dad one more time and make sure they now that this needs to be solved asap. Separate her from the group when she is crying and let her cry alone.....you cannot sacrifice the environment of your home to this one child. She is crying either way so might as well separate her for your own sanity. If you cannot break this habit or don't have the room to let her CIO, then you need to term. Something is not right here....however, don't feel that you have to stick it out until she is happy. The vast majority of us have termed a clingy cryer before so don't feel bad if that is what it comes to.

Since mom doesn't want to talk about, I am betting that she holds baby ALL the time and has no interest in changing that.

[Breezy]

My ds is 11 months old and is like this too. Not to the extreme your dcg is but pretty bad. When I walk away he has a melt down. Very strange because he has always been very independent.

[christinaskids]

When my son gets like this i put him in his room on the floor to calm down. I leave the door open and he comes out when hes done. Ive done this with dc kids too and it works pretty well. I put them next to toys when they are done and the figure out that its either cry for attention which gets a cool down period or play. They quickly learn playing is way more fun.

[countrymom]

when she gets like this, would it be ok to put her in a play pen, where she can see the kids or where she can see me (my main living space is on one floor, but I'm constantly moving around, you know busy all day stuff)
I also think I'm going to put a gate up (hate to wreck my drywall) between the kitchen and living room so she can't come in the kitchen and cling to my leg. Dad said she is like this at home so they have a gate up too.

I read up on stuff and some reports said that she is just a strong willed child, but for 6 months, I think thats crazy. My ydd was a clinger but I fixed her, she still is a clinger (she is 7) but more of a hugger.

The worst is that I think she is making the other boy I watch, into a screaming crying mess. Because I think she freaks him out with all her crying.

[DaisyMamma]

It sounds like a total nightmare. You must be stressed out all of the time. I'm sorry you have to deal with it.
I can tell you, if it were me, I would schedule a meeting with the parents when no kids are there to distract. Again address your concerns and inquire about how mom/dad are dealing with this. It's obvious to you and me that she is being held NONSTOP at home and when she's not being held she cries until she gets her way (because who wants to listen to a crying kid!)
Make sure you let parents know how this is affecting HER, you and the other kids. You have a new kid starting and that is challenging enough. They need to do what they can to stop holding her all the time. Let them know that it has to stop if she wants to continue care with you because SHE is not happy. Focus on how it's making dkc unhappy, not how it's making you unhappy.

I have a 1 year old that started at 4 months. It was clear that he was constantly held. The only way I could get him NOT to cry was to constantly NOT hold him. It was hard to do because who doesn't want to cuddle a little baby but it had to be done. It took a while before he realized crying didn't work. Mondays are still hard.
I see his parents sometimes outside of daycare and they still constantly hold him and i mean constantly (hours at a time). and this kid is 13 months old and 30 lbs., and knows how to walk.....

[countrymom]

It sounds like a total nightmare. You must be stressed out all of the time. I'm sorry you have to deal with it.
I can tell you, if it were me, I would schedule a meeting with the parents when no kids are there to distract. Again address your concerns and inquire about how mom/dad are dealing with this. It's obvious to you and me that she is being held NONSTOP at home and when she's not being held she cries until she gets her way (because who wants to listen to a crying kid!)
Make sure you let parents know how this is affecting HER, you and the other kids. You have a new kid starting and that is challenging enough. They need to do what they can to stop holding her all the time. Let them know that it has to stop if she wants to continue care with you because SHE is not happy. Focus on how it's making dkc unhappy, not how it's making you unhappy.

I have a 1 year old that started at 4 months. It was clear that he was constantly held. The only way I could get him NOT to cry was to constantly NOT hold him. It was hard to do because who doesn't want to cuddle a little baby but it had to be done. It took a while before he realized crying didn't work. Mondays are still hard.
I see his parents sometimes outside of daycare and they still constantly hold him and i mean constantly (hours at a time). and this kid is 13 months old and 30 lbs., and knows how to walk.....

omgosh, you are so correct. today I didn't hold her once, and all she did was cry. But I noticed that the minute I would pick her up (to put in a high chair) she stop, like insteantly. I would put her down after meals, and it would start again. today I put the gate up. She cried forever, even when dh called at lunch he complained that she was giving him a headache. I also put her in a playpen everytime she would cry. Finally near the end of the day she got better. I also noticed that she didn't cry if someone played with her nonstop, like when my girls got home from school. I also noticed that she didn't know how to play by herself. So I've come to the conclusion that they must be at her beckon call all day. The crying doesn't bother me, but it does bother the other kids.