Define Potty Trained

[daycare]

I have a new DCK that in my eyes is not potty trained, but according to the parents they are.

I pretty much define potty trained much like NannyDe does.(not exactly)
able to say they have to go
able to dress and undress
able to hold it if needed to
can wipe without assistance
can remember to flush
wash hands, dry hands and return to activity without distraction.


The child is able to be accident free, however, cannot ask to go to the bathroom. If I stopped making DCK go to the toilet every 1.5-2 hours they would have an accident. I have not had a day where I have NOT made DCK go to the toilet.

I have another DCK that is potty trained at day, but always has an accident during nap time. Would you deem this child potty trained?

any words

[kidkair]

I consider a kid who will hold it and go every 2 hours with my help and has gone 2 weeks without accidents like that potty trained enough to not wear diapers. They eventually get the confidence to ask and the skills needed to be independent eventually and in the mean time it's one less diaper I have to deal with.

A kid needing a diaper just at nap I would consider potty trained enough to go without diapers the rest of the day and would just slip one on before nap. Again the least amount of diapers I have to deal with the better for me and the environment.

I would consider both those kids to be dependently potty trained and your definition to be defining independently potty trained. I encourage dependent potty training as early as I can because 1) less diapers 2) eventually it leads to more and more independence. I helped get a 22 month to the dependent stage and she didn't reach complete independence for another year simply because she was too small to turn the water on without help.

[PitterPatter]

I have a new DCK that in my eyes is not potty trained, but according to the parents they are.

I pretty much define potty trained much like NannyDe does.(not exactly)
able to say they have to go
able to dress and undress
able to hold it if needed to
can wipe without assistance
can remember to flush
wash hands, dry hands and return to activity without distraction.


The child is able to be accident free, however, cannot ask to go to the bathroom. If I stopped making DCK go to the toilet every 1.5-2 hours they would have an accident. I have not had a day where I have NOT made DCK go to the toilet.

I have another DCK that is potty trained at day, but always has an accident during nap time. Would you deem this child potty trained?

any words

They are not potty trained if you have to make them go. They are not potty trained if they have repeated accidents. Once in a while is ok of course.

Potty trained to me is they go without being asked/reminded and tell me when they have to go. They should be able to do everything alone.
They may need some help with fastening but minimal.
They should know to flush and wash BUT I have seen some adults that don't do that so I just remind remind remind.
Potty trained means they don't need diapers at nap time and stay dry all day!!

I am having a hellllova time with 2 kids. 1 is a 4 yr old the other 2. They will stand there and lie to me! When I ask if they need to go potty they say no. I say well lets go try, no. 10 mins later I smell poop. I ask if anyone has to go potty, still no. I pull each aside and ask if they wet their diaper or pooped and they will shrug their shoulders and say "I dont know" with a pile of poo in their diaper! God give me the strength!

I'll trade you!!!! ::

[Ariana]

I agree that this kid is not potty trained.
I think peeing at night and at nap is fine, since they're unconscious and can't hold it BUT they definately need to be asking to go pee.

[Meyou]

I would consider the one that has nap accidents potty trained. I would just use a pullup at nap. I think that bladder control while sleeping is something they grow into and it doesn't always happen the same time as potty training.

The one who needs to be told to go is not potty trained. Being able to SAY when you have to go is the most important part of potty learning for me.

[daycare]

I would consider the one that has nap accidents potty trained. I would just use a pullup at nap. I think that bladder control while sleeping is something they grow into and it doesn't always happen the same time as potty training.

The one who needs to be told to go is not potty trained. Being able to SAY when you have to go is the most important part of potty learning for me.

So today had been a whole new issue with the PT with child #1.

all day today as well as most of yesterday, it was a tantrum every time I said that they needed to go. It has become a battle here and it is taking up way to much of my time away from the other kids.

Do you think it would be fair of me to stop taking the child to the bathroom and wait to see if the child asks to go? I know if I do this, there will be accidents, but I can't FORCE a child to do anything they don't want to do.

I know the parents will not be happy about it, but I am not going to create a battle...

[Ariana]

I would tell mom that the child is refusing to go and you won't force it. Tell her that she needs to start working on getting her kid to verbally ask to go to the bathroom for this to continue at your house.

[Meyou]

I would tell mom that the child is refusing to go and you won't force it. Tell her that she needs to start working on getting her kid to verbally ask to go to the bathroom for this to continue at your house.

I agree with Ariana.

[daycare]

I would tell mom that the child is refusing to go and you won't force it. Tell her that she needs to start working on getting her kid to verbally ask to go to the bathroom for this to continue at your house.

thanks for responding and letting me know that I am not being mean by doing this. I really want to help the family PT the child, but not under these conditions..

[Ariana]

thanks for responding and letting me know that I am not being mean by doing this. I really want to help the family PT the child, but not under these conditions..

I know it's tough. I hear it all the time from parent friends I know telling me their DCP is not onboard with PTing blah blah blah. I know that something is obviously going on if the provider is "not helping". It's usually something like this. Just be nice as pie when you talk to her. "Little johnny is just refusing to go by himself and I'm not sure why....the next step here is gettng him to verbalize his need to go so he can tell me....I don't physically bring kids to the potty. Do you have to do this at home or is he just acting this way here....what do you think we should do" etc. Try and get her involved in the solution first and then tell her what you're going to do.

[daycare]

I know it's tough. I hear it all the time from parent friends I know telling me their DCP is not onboard with PTing blah blah blah. I know that something is obviously going on if the provider is "not helping". It's usually something like this. Just be nice as pie when you talk to her. "Little johnny is just refusing to go by himself and I'm not sure why....the next step here is gettng him to verbalize his need to go so he can tell me....I don't physically bring kids to the potty. Do you have to do this at home or is he just acting this way here....what do you think we should do" etc. Try and get her involved in the solution first and then tell her what you're going to do.

I did tell her yesterday that dck was throwing tantrum when asked to use the toilet and she said taht it happens at home too.

I guess how I tell mom I am going to continue the PT process here is what is important.

I need to let he know what happened earlier this morning when I asked DCK to go and refused DCK threw themselves down right in front of the toilet and when DCK did that, almost hit his head on the toilet. I can't allow for that to go on any more..

So I should say I will only assist with him, if he is willing....

[Blackcat31]

you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

Mom should lighten up. She should also take some time off and COMPLETLEY train her own child. Daycare providers can "ask" but watching multiple children doesn't allow us to be the key player in this process.

I would ask him if he wants to go, if he does anything besides get up and head to the bathroom, I am out.

I don't think you need to tell mom anything except, "I ask, he says no". The rest is up to her.

[daycare]

you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

Mom should lighten up. She should also take some time off and COMPLETLEY train her own child. Daycare providers can "ask" but watching multiple children doesn't allow us to be the key player in this process.

I would ask him if he wants to go, if he does anything besides get up and head to the bathroom, I am out.

I don't think you need to tell mom anything except, "I ask, he says no". The rest is up to her.

....can you move in....

The mom is actually extremely nice and was understanding yesteday when I told her that I could only do so much..

and you are so right. I can lead the child, but I cannot force the child.

Gonna have that sign in bright red letters on my wall...

you can lead a child to the toilet, but you can't make them go...........