How Soon Do You Share Concerns??

[Mary Poppins]

How soon after a new dcf starts do you feel comfortable sharing concerns with the parents about their children?

The reason I ask, is I have 2 new dck's and there are already a couple of things that I've noticed that I'm wondering if I should mention but this was only their 1st day. I don't want to seem overbearing or something. Then again....

First, the dcb is 5 and is in kindy but today I noticed he seems to squint when looking at the books and I know my own ds did that which is why he now wears glasses. The thing is, don't they screen for this at school? I asked him if he had his eyes checked and he said no (but you know kids).Would you mention it right away?

Second, the dcg is 2 and she seems a bit... frail. Not just petite, my own dd was petite, like me, but she is quite thin. In fact, when I changed her diaper I was sort of shocked because she has almost loose, sort of wrinkly skin, on her lower belly. :confused:

I will say that dcm seems like a good mom and is private pay and I know her and her husband make a great living judging by their jobs, but they work looong hours and these little ones just came to me from a cookie-cutter dc in town and I wonder if they were feeding them well or???

I do have in my policies that I need a certificate of health from a doctor within x amount of time from enrollment but I kinda don't want to wait on either of these issues because I feel both are quite serious, kwim?

So would you bring this up right away, wait a few days, what??

[AllDeezBabies]

The issue regarding the dcb needing glasses and squinting I would bring to their attention immediately.

Me personally, I wouldn't know how to take telling a parent their child is frail. How does she eat while there? Is the mom and dad small framed (body size)? It could be a hereditary thing. I don't know how to quite answer that question.

[Kaddidle Care]

I'm not sure if School screens for vision still. They did when my oldest went to school but it may only be if the Teacher brings it to their attention. Easy enough to do a little test yourself. I would mention it to Mom using your own child as the example. "I noticed Johnny squints when he is reading. That's exactly what my son did at that age. Does anyone in your family wear glasses?"

As far as the frail child, I would wait and see how she acts and eats at your place. One day isn't enough to judge. It may be the reason she pulled the children from the other Daycare.

[countrymom]

when I notice a child is thin, I weigh them at my house on monday and then I feed them all week, and then weigh them at the end of 2 weeks. If they are gaining weight, then I know that I'm doing a good job, if when you send them home and you notice a loss in weight then its the parents problem.
I have a little one who I will feed very well all week, she acually gains 1 or 2 pounds with me, and when she goes home for the weekend, its either she losses her wieght that she has gained or has lost more. I then ask mom how she feeds her and I discovered that they are barely feeding her, just shoving milk all day, makes me mad.

[Lilbutterflie]

when I notice a child is thin, I weigh them at my house on monday and then I feed them all week, and then weigh them at the end of 2 weeks. If they are gaining weight, then I know that I'm doing a good job, if when you send them home and you notice a loss in weight then its the parents problem.

This is great advice. I would do this for the girl. Weighing her and tracking her weight also gives you good scientific facts to fall back on if you end up mentioning it to the parents. No parent wants to hear their child may have a medical issue (or other type of issue) causing them to be underweight or losing weight; so be careful with this one.

Also, there's nothing wrong with mentioning the boy squinting when reading to the parents. It's just an observation; and they can take it and run with it; or leave it alone. At least you know you did your part!

[Ariana]

I would definately ask if the boy had a vision test at school and mention the squinting. Maybe they're waiting to see an optometrist about glasses or something? You never know until you ask. As for the girl I like the advice about weighing her and wait a few more weeks before bringing it up.

[Mary Poppins]

Thanks for the input ladies. I will be picking dcb up from school this pm and his teacher is supposed to meet me so maybe I'll bring it up to her. I was thinking she should notice what I've noticed, but she probably has 30 kids so maybe she hasn't! Then I'll also mention it to dcm at pick up.

The dcg ate really well for me yesterday and today and I'm adjusting my menu to "fatten" her up . She is just rail thin, her little backbone and ribs stick out, too. And she has a lot less energy than *I* think she should, but I'm no doctor, of course. I just worry, she is so bright and such a sweetie.

I like the weigh-in idea, too!! If after a couple of weeks she isn't gaining weight here, I will definitely mention it to dcm because if it IS something serious it shouldn't wait too long, right? Hopefully by then I'll have her Well Baby checkup paperwork anyway.

[C'est la vie.]

I start mentioning things casually as soon as I notice them to get feedback. Then once I've observed enough it doesn't come as a shock because we've usually been discussing the issues or behaviours throughout. If communication is wide open it can be easy to casually bring up everything we notice, both positve and perhaps concerning. Start saying that the child is quite small then brainstorm about how to get the childs weight up. Then you guys can spend a few weeks working on it together before it gets to be an issue that needs to be addressed seriously.

As for the eyesight, mention that you've noticed squinting, but you'll keep an eye on it and they should too. That will give you a chance to ask if the childs ever had an eye test. Just be super casual and relaxed and informal so it doesn't feel like an issue, just like a conversation about things you're seeing.