Ok Potty Training Experts, I'd Love Your Advice...

[newtodaycare22]

Let me start this by saying I have no kids of my own and I've never potty trained anyone-I usually require kids to be potty trained for my preschool program.

Background (sorry, it's long )

I accepted a girl into my program in August-She had just turned 2 in July. I initially interviewed the family in June and they were starting the potty trained process. She's definitely advanced for her age in regards to just about everything-speech, motor skills....and she was showing signs of readiness to potty train. She told her parents every time she went potty and was starting to stay dry for longer periods of time.

They checked in with me over the summer to tell me about her progress. Apparently she was "doing well" but having occasional accidents. They knew that when she started with me, she'd be in pull ups. Mom and dad have her in undies but clearly I can't do that here.

When she first started, she went in her pull up constantly, only telling me after she went poop occasionally. After a while I got her to sit on the potty and she would pee about half of the time...the other half she'd wait until 5 minutes later and go in her pull up. We did a reward jar with M and Ms...sometimes she cared and sometimes she didn't.

One time we tried undies because apparently she was 'doing so good at home' and mom/dad thought maybe pull ups were making her lazy. I gave it a try----30 minutes later she had an accident.

Lately, she won't tell me when she goes and she refuses to even sit on the potty to try. At home, mom and dad put her on the toilet every hour or so and apparently she only had accidents 1 time in the 4 days she was home for winter break.

Here are my issues/questions.

1. If a child is seriously upset about getting on the potty to try (even though she did it for months prior)...should I just stop all attempts to train? I don't think this should be a stressful time for her!

2. She never tells me in advance when she has to go. Even during the months when she did pee on the potty some, it's only because I brought her. I don't think she's taking the lead at home either. Even if other 'ready' signs are there....isn't this a major problem? Is there anything I can to do help her with understanding she needs to go ahead of time?

3. Do you think it's making things worse that she's always in pull ups here and always undies at home? She's probably so confused!

Thanks in advance for any ideas!!

[Heidi]

I usually suggest putting underwear UNDER the pullups. That way, she feels wet, but does not cause sanitary issues. If she poops in them, however, then you have to deal with that.

In WI, we are allowed to dump whatever is in their cloth diaper or underwear 9assuming it's solid enough), but we cannot rinse or wash them. WIth my dcg, 3, her mom asked if I could have HER dump it ' where it belongs..in the potty". I assisted her (it only happened twice, and never since then), and then we both washed out hands...real good....

If they go for this plan, then give the parents the choice of getting back the soiled panties, or throwing them away. If she likes her panties (favorites), she may not like the idea of having to throw them away when she "ruins" them. "OH, I am so sad that we have to throw away your pretty princess panties..." empathy....
If she doesn't have any attachment to them, then that won't be a factor, though. I would NOT warn her ahead of time, as a threat, though. Just make it a consequence. so sad...

I know this is not what you signed up for with a preschool program for potty trained children, but unfortunately, it does take some children longer.

PS: I personally am not a fan of the m&m/reward system. I prefer self-motivation vs. "prizes". not criticing at all, but it hasn't beem really sucessful for me...

[newtodaycare22]

Thanks for the advice. I've considered the panties underneath theory from reading it on here..but my major concern is that she doesn't ever say she has to go ahead of time. It's ok at home because her parents constantly take her potty but here....I can't do that.And i don't feel like I should have to? I know that's how you START potty training, so they get the idea...but 6-7 months in it seems a little crazy to me.

I agree about the M and Ms. I did it because parents were doing it at home and I wanted to stay consistent, but all I was thinking that was she would always be looking for an M and M after the potty-for years! ::

I usually suggest putting underwear UNDER the pullups. That way, she feels wet, but does not cause sanitary issues. If she poops in them, however, then you have to deal with that.

In WI, we are allowed to dump whatever is in their cloth diaper or underwear 9assuming it's solid enough), but we cannot rinse or wash them. WIth my dcg, 3, her mom asked if I could have HER dump it ' where it belongs..in the potty". I assisted her (it only happened twice, and never since then), and then we both washed out hands...real good....

If they go for this plan, then give the parents the choice of getting back the soiled panties, or throwing them away. If she likes her panties (favorites), she may not like the idea of having to throw them away when she "ruins" them. "OH, I am so sad that we have to throw away your pretty princess panties..." empathy....
If she doesn't have any attachment to them, then that won't be a factor, though. I would NOT warn her ahead of time, as a threat, though. Just make it a consequence. so sad...

I know this is not what you signed up for with a preschool program for potty trained children, but unfortunately, it does take some children longer.

PS: I personally am not a fan of the m&m/reward system. I prefer self-motivation vs. "prizes". not criticing at all, but it hasn't beem really sucessful for me...

[Heidi]

Honestly, if she wets her panties, and still doesnt care, doesn't tell you, then she is not ready!

You will just have to decide whether or not you want to keep her in your program despite that....

[newtodaycare22]

At home, when she wets her undies, apparently she says, "Uh o potty...."

So, not sure if that's caring?

I'm keeping her in the program. She's definitely benefiting from being with my older kids (all 3-5) because she's so advanced. And its a great family...I'll just have to **** up the potty part of the job. ::

Honestly, if she wets her panties, and still doesnt care, doesn't tell you, then she is not ready!

You will just have to decide whether or not you want to keep her in your program despite that....