Arriving During Naptime

[mrs.meg]

I need a little advice. The mother of the 2 brothers I watch has a crazy schedule, she works all different shifts. She loves to have days off where she can bring the kids and stay at home or go shopping, which is fine since I get paid anyway but I think it is a bit of a hassle dealing with her schedule and never knowing when they are coming because it changes a lot, too. Most days when she works 2nd she brings them at 9am or 12 pm, which doesn't really interfere with my schedule. Well, now she has this new thing where she doesn't want them to take a nap, even knowing that her 5 year old has to take one at preschool. Naptime here is 1-3pm, so she brings him in at 1:30 and tells me that he has not had a nap and she does not want him to take a nap today. She tells me that they are so much easier to get to bed at night. They do not go to bed until 10 or 11 and most days they get up at 6ish for brother to get on his bus at 6:45. So, they are ALWAYS tired all morning, especially grumpy little 3-yo.

So, my question is: How do I tell mom in a nice way that this is my house, my schedule and if she brings them between 1-3 they will be laying down so that the others are not disrupted. Not to mention, if I let them stay up, they are VERY demanding and begin asking for things and I will not get a break. I also am taking college courses and this is the only time I have to do my work or study.

I think mom really thinks she is my boss since she pays me. I just don't see it that way, I do a service and she pays me, she is not my boss. It all boils down to she likes the boys to do what they want, she has told me in the past she hates them to be on a schedule because she wants them to do what they want all day. I have told her before that it doesn't work that way, but I guess she needs a reminder. Any advice is much appreciated!

[momma2girls]

I added something to please respect our naptime/quiettime here at daycare. Please do not pick up or drop off during these times- you do need to tell her this!! Plus the one that kept picking up during naptime- would always wake up my own daughter who's room is right next to the front door!! That ****ed with her only having 15- 30 min. nap!!! Let alone getting her daughter up from nap, and waking up others that are sleeping!

[Unregistered]

I would just tell her that she needs to be here before 1pm and her children will need to lay down and rest at that time! If they fall asleep you will leave them sleeping because they obviously needed it, if they don't at least they rested and hopefully will be in a better mood! I would tell her the only other option is to bring them at 3 when naptime is over!! : P I am sure she will pick option 1 so she can be to work on time!! I have a similar family, mother works evening shift! She was bringing child at 2:30, I asked if she could bring her before 1 so that we aren't being so disrupted, that was fine! She now has the child sometimes nap with her before they come, this can be frusterating, because then the child is here the entire naptime and SHE already napped! Grrr However it took me just a couple days to get her to still lay down and rest, I will put a movie in for her, but she knows she still needs to rest until the other kids wake up!! I do need to remind her every now and again, but for the most part this works! She will be 3 in May! Hope this helps! : ) You are right it is YOUR buisness, Your schedule, You are the boss and no one else! If she is accomodating to that, then she needs to find a new daycare and good luck finding anyone willing to do what she wants! : P

[AfterSchoolMom]

You are absolutely right - she is NOT your boss, she pays you for a service rendered. It is your daycare, so therefore her children must follow YOUR rules while in your home. If I were you, I'd just stick to your policy - tell her that ALL children in your care lie down between 1-3. You can tell her that her children don't have to sleep, but that they MUST lie down quietly. You'll probably find that they do fall asleep and that they'll end up sleeping better at night. If she has a huge problem with it, she can find somewhere else to take them, but I bet that she'll have the same situation anywhere else that she takes them, right?

I hate it when parents don't want their kids to nap. Young children NEED a nap. She's probably having trouble getting them to bed because she's waiting until so late to put them down and they're overtired!

[safechner]

I would say you would need to speak with their mother to let her know that you have nap time between 1pm-3pm. Don't let her bring between 1pm to 3pm.

My policy: I don't allowed the parents to bring their kids between 12:30pm to 2:30pm unless I dont have the kids in my house. I put the sign front the door "Please do not disturb between 12:30pm to 2:30pm" because I am so tired of those people who come here to sell, sales, church, etc... but it works so far. The parents respect my rules during nap time.

[Crystal]

Do you have a handbook that explains your policies regarding naptime/schedules, etc? If you do, email her a copy of it, and state that "effective immediately, all policies will be fully enforced" If you don't, I'd create one, provide a copy to all of your families, and have them all sign a statement that they have recieved it and agree to abide by all policies in it.

For the time being, you don't have to be "nice" about it, just professional. "My policy is that all children will lay down and rest, regardless of whether or not they sleep, if this is an inconvenience for you, you will no longer be allowed to drop your child off during naptime" I'd also have her start calling by Sunday evening and providing you with a schedule for the entire week and let her know that all schedule changes require a24 hour notice. We have a right to a regular schedule, just like any other job.

[Unregistered]

I like crylstals answer, make her give you a weekly schedule and make it clear to her that if she drops off or picks up at times other than what she gave you for the week she will be charged the early/late pick up fee, if you dont have it in your policy book about no pick ups or drop offs during nap time write something up and give it to all the clients, I also do not allow drop offs or pick ups during this time and have had dcp try to tell me that they dont want their kids napping here, its stated in my policies that all kids 5 and under lay down, if they dont like it they can go somewhere else..i also have it that if i a dcp tells me they wont be here at a scheduled time they have to give that to me in writing and cant change their minds at the last minute and bring them, i make it very clear that although i work from home i am not a doormat that they can stop in and drop off whenever they want, I also dont see the dcp as my boss, im being paid to provide a service in my home with my rules, they come here and pay for what i am providing, if they want to tell someone how to watch their kids then they need to get a live in nanny, this mom sounds like she thinks she's the boss and id have a real problem with that, It will get worse if you dont stop it now..btw there is nooooooooo way i would allow a 3 year old or a 5 year old to stay up and not nap, if they are hard to handle and have any behavior problems id point that out to mom and tell her they need the extra rest,children need rules and structure, stick to what you want and good luck..
Kiddie Care

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

I dont care what time they bring them, but if its during nap, they will lay down. If she says something about them not sleeping,.. I would suggest to her to wake them earlier in the mornings, and in a few days their sleep will readjust. Or drop them after nap. But if they are there for nap time, they are there for nap.

I think its amazing that parents instantly have children who 'went to bed so well for them last night' when they think they only got a 30 min nap. I have a girl who is 4, Been here since she was 11 mo. she gets here between 430 and 515 am,... by about 1030 am she is exhausted. I can keep her awake until noon feed her and she will sleep until 230 or 3. Mom talked to me around january about shortening her nap. That she was not sleeping well. For a few weeks I would literally wake her up at the table, wake her up sitting on the couch, trying to get her to stay up and only take a short nap. mom was loving it, she went to bed on time, she was a joy to be around for her,... finally,.. I gave up. let her go down with the others, Naps ever dfay from noon15 to 3. and Mom just keeps remarking on how great she is now. how she eats dinner and goes to bed without her late evening icecream snack. Not even enough energy to cry for her 7up. ROFL. yeah it was the long naps keeping her up all right,...

[AfterSchoolMom]

her late evening icecream snack

cry for her 7up

Somehow I don't think it's the napping that was disrupting her sleep...

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

yeah, and Ive offered her some ocean front property in arizona too,....

[TGT09]

It is in my handbook that I do NOT allow pick-up's or drop-off's during that time. However, with that said, if it's ABSOLUTELY necessary, I will tell them to call me instead of ringing the doorbell when they get there.

As for the napping, that is totally unacceptable to me. If she wants to bring them a half an hour after nap has started and then doesn't want them to nap....then I would firmly tell her that this will no longer be allowed. AND, to repeat what everyone ahead of me said....this is MY house and maybe subtley get across to her that she may be the boss at her house but not at yours. You are most definitely NOT her employee!

[MarinaVanessa]

I agree that just telling her that she can't drop off between your nap-times and being up front and proffesional about it is the best wat to go. Let her know that nap times are required and that if she doesn't nap then she must at least lay down and rest. If she happens to fall asleep then that means she is tired! And so you will not prevent her from sleeping. If the mom decides that she does not want her to nap OR have a rest period for fear that she may fall asleep then tell the mom that the little girl should not be present during those times because all of the children are required to have nap or at least quiet time.

I also think that you should have her give you a schedule beforehand so that you can prepare better. Tell her that sometimes you may have an opportunity to take another child as a drop-in but because you don't know what her schedule is you don't know when she will show up and this interferes with your chance to make extra income.

She may be paying you fees but it is your business and you offer a service. If she does not like the service you offer then she can look somewhere else that doesn't have nap/quiet times ... (good luck to her on this one).

[kpa0627]

At a center I worked out we had a pretty nice policy regarding drop off times. We requested that children be at daycare no later than 9:30 am. IfIf they weren't there by that time then the only time they could be dropped off was at 2:30 when rest was over. So if someone came in at noon to drop their child off we would tell them I'm sorry but your child is to be here by 9:30am so she/he can't stay but you can bring them back after rest @ 2:30pm. SOme parents got annoyed by it but once they realized a policy is a policy they decided it's just easier to get their kid there at a descent time and we had no problems after that.

[mrs.meg]

Wow, I'm glad you all understand, it seems that not many people do. They act like I am asking for a kidney or something. Like I get a 2 hours break, it is more like I am cleaning up for over and hour after the kids and then I get about a 45 minute break for lunch, etc.

I did talk to mom today when she came to pick up the boys. I told her that if she wanted to bring the boys between 1 and 3 pm that they could come but that they would need to lay down while everyone else is napping. She asked me why and I told her that I like the kids to all have quiet time at the same time. That is the only time of day that I don't have kids wanting and needing things and I like the kids to be on the same schedule. She said that her family are not"SCHEDULE PEOPLE" but if that is how it is then that is fine. I just do not understand what the big deal is. Most all days they are here from 7am to 5pm and they nap from 1-3, what difference does it make. I usually have to wake them up because they are always tired from not sleeping much at home. She is scared to death that they are going to have to do something that they don't want to do.

I can't begin to understand, but whatever!

[TGT09]

Annoying, big time! I do NOT understand that type of parenting at all. Do you think your child's boss (in the future) is going to care whether he WANTS to do something or not....NOPE. Or even sooner, are you going to NOT make him do his homework just because he doesn't WANT to?

It's fine that they aren't schedule people but just wait until the kids start school! HA! What a riot that will be!