****ing At Being A DCP Today

[Breezy]

Ugh so frustrated today and feeling super guilty about it.

Today is my first day back to reality after the holiday weekend. I have a part timer who is 5 months old that comes an average of 1-2 days per week so this is the first day I was needed this week.

She comes at 7:15 this morning sleeping as always in her car seat. Mom and I chit chat while she wakes her up. Mom tells me she woke up for the day at 3AM and ate last at 5AM. She also told me that DCG is taking 6 ounce bottles twice a day now and the rest of the bottles are 4 ounces usually. Now this little girl has SUCH a hard time eating here and I don't understand why. I feed her when she is hungry, on demand. And she will gag on the bottle and not take it. Then she will scream and scream and scream. I will burp her, play with her, offer her the bottle, etc and then she will take it maybe an hour later and only drink 2 ounces. So I don't understand HOW she is eating 4-6 ounces in a sitting at home.

After her AM nap, which she takes right after mom leaves because she is still so tired, I changed her and got her bottle ready to eat. She was fussing and so I figured she was ready for it. I feed it to her and she takes a few sips and then starts gagging on it and fussing. So, I take her into a different room and try some different positions. Take a break, burp her, try again still gags. Then she started screaming this shrill high pitched scream, face red arched back, the works. I figure she is in pain and maybe has a gas bubble so I do everything I can to help her out and she carries on screaming and will not eat for about 45 minutes. By this time my husband is up and out here trying to help me with my DS who is totally neglected by me while I attempt to sort DCG out. I give up trying to feed her and just focus on burping her and she burps finally, gags, and then spits up this huge ball of formula and mucous. YUCK.

She continues screaming for a few more minutes and then falls asleep. I go lay her down in her pnp and she sleeps long enough for me to eat something myself before my DH leaves for work. Then, she wakes up is changed again and offered some more formula. Takes about 2 ounces, gags on it and starts crying. I burp her and then lay her down on the floor so I could try and play with both her and my DS who I realize I haven't seen barely since I got him dressed this morning.

I then go into a different room so I can change my clothes since she has finally calmed down a little bit and it really warmed up here so I needed something lighter on. I took both babies in there with me. DCG in her bouncy seat and DS in his jumperoo and she fusses the whole entire time and then breaks into her shrill cry again.

She is sleeping again and so is DS- hopefully for longer than a half hour but really? I don't understand what the issue is with her. I am assuming it is gas but what I am doing differently than her parents? She has drank a grand total of 4 ounces since getting here 7 hours ago. And she spit most of it up. How can they say that she eats so much at every sitting with them?

I am usually so good with infants. All my previous DCPs have gone as far as to call me the "baby whisperer" happyface

I really want to chat with DCM about the eating issues and I did send her a text during the 45 minute meltdown letting her know she wasn't having a great day and told her what was up. But, I don't want to sound like I don't know what I am doing when evidently they can get her to eat just fine.

Or is it the fact she is only here an avg of 1-2 days per week? Because she was here 3 days last week and by the 2nd and 3rd days she was awesome. Smiley and happy and eating wonderfully. Could a baby this young have trust issues?

Sorry this is so long but it felt good to get it out of my head!!!

[sahm2three]

I had one like this. Is she breastfed at home? My dcg was, and we struggled terribly with the bottles. What I found was, if I sat her up almost with her back away from me, but kind of in the crook of my arm, and let her sit up, she ate better. No idea why it worked, but it did. Maybe because holding her the other way confused her because that is how she drank from the breast? Anyway, good luck!

[Breezy]

I had one like this. Is she breastfed at home? My dcg was, and we struggled terribly with the bottles. What I found was, if I sat her up almost with her back away from me, but kind of in the crook of my arm, and let her sit up, she ate better. No idea why it worked, but it did. Maybe because holding her the other way confused her because that is how she drank from the breast? Anyway, good luck!

Thank you for responding! No, she is formula fed with some very nasty smelling formula. Bleh I can't stand the smell of it and it makes my whole kitchen just stink.

[daycare]

are you sure that this little one knows how to take the bottle? It sounds like she does not.. I would have the mom come and prove to you that the baby can drink from a bottle. NOT just a little bit, a full bottle.

Years ago when I took infants, I had this happen to me. Turns out the mom was fibbing to me.l She was only nursing at home and was telling me that the baby took the bottle.... I finally had enough and called her out on it and I was right....SO I sent them packing until the mom got baby bottle trained at home. They were gone for 4 weeks... I was out money but it was much better than everyones sanity..

[SilverSabre25]

Too fast a nipple? Too slow a nipple? Clogged nipple?

[Breezy]

are you sure that this little one knows how to take the bottle? It sounds like she does not.. I would have the mom come and prove to you that the baby can drink from a bottle. NOT just a little bit, a full bottle.

Years ago when I took infants, I had this happen to me. Turns out the mom was fibbing to me.l She was only nursing at home and was telling me that the baby took the bottle.... I finally had enough and called her out on it and I was right....SO I sent them packing until the mom got baby bottle trained at home. They were gone for 4 weeks... I was out money but it was much better than everyones sanity..

She doesn't nurse so she has been taking a bottle since birth. I just don't understand why she won't take the bottle from me.. I have tried a ton of different positions too.

[Breezy]

Too fast a nipple? Too slow a nipple? Clogged nipple?

She uses DR. Brown bottles with a medium nipple I think. But, I have tried my playtex bottles with a slow nipple and a fast nipple. The slow nipple she screams, the fast nipple she chokes and screams, the medium one she just gags on. Its like they are too big for her mouth (she's tiny).

The most I have gotten her to eat at one time is 3 ounces and that ONCE. She usually takes 2 ounces every 4-5 hours which can NOT be enough for her to eat. She also sleeps most of the day usually and is awake half the night.

[mismatchedsocks]

I like the idea of mom showing you how she eats. One day at pick up ask mom to feed the baby to show you how she does it. Say "she just wont eat without gagging or eat more then a few ounces for me, and at this point I want to make sure she is eating ok" I am sure mom will be more then happy to show you how she does it. And if she gags/doesnt eat with her, then at least you know and can move on with trying everything else. IF if does work with mom, then try to mimic it each time? ask for moms shirt, for her scent?

[Breezy]

Update

Ok, so she just woke up from her nap. I changed her diaper and let her swing in the swing for a little bit. Then, I saw she was rooting around with her hand so I went to make her bottle and I let it warm up for a LONG time. I changed her diaper and sang her songs like always and then gave her the bottle and she ate 3 ounces without gagging or crying! Certainly not the six ounces her mom claims she will eat but it is a start. I am kind of thinking maybe she just doesn't want to take it from me until she gets used to me again? Too bad it took her until pick up time to get used to me and she won't be back until Monday. Her dad will be her within the next 15 minutes I think to pick her up. But at least I got food in her belly!

[PitterPatter]

Ugh so frustrated today and feeling super guilty about it.

Today is my first day back to reality after the holiday weekend. I have a part timer who is 5 months old that comes an average of 1-2 days per week so this is the first day I was needed this week.

She comes at 7:15 this morning sleeping as always in her car seat. Mom and I chit chat while she wakes her up. Mom tells me she woke up for the day at 3AM and ate last at 5AM. She also told me that DCG is taking 6 ounce bottles twice a day now and the rest of the bottles are 4 ounces usually. Now this little girl has SUCH a hard time eating here and I don't understand why. I feed her when she is hungry, on demand. And she will gag on the bottle and not take it. Then she will scream and scream and scream. I will burp her, play with her, offer her the bottle, etc and then she will take it maybe an hour later and only drink 2 ounces. So I don't understand HOW she is eating 4-6 ounces in a sitting at home.

After her AM nap, which she takes right after mom leaves because she is still so tired, I changed her and got her bottle ready to eat. She was fussing and so I figured she was ready for it. I feed it to her and she takes a few sips and then starts gagging on it and fussing. So, I take her into a different room and try some different positions. Take a break, burp her, try again still gags. Then she started screaming this shrill high pitched scream, face red arched back, the works. I figure she is in pain and maybe has a gas bubble so I do everything I can to help her out and she carries on screaming and will not eat for about 45 minutes. By this time my husband is up and out here trying to help me with my DS who is totally neglected by me while I attempt to sort DCG out. I give up trying to feed her and just focus on burping her and she burps finally, gags, and then spits up this huge ball of formula and mucous. YUCK.

She continues screaming for a few more minutes and then falls asleep. I go lay her down in her pnp and she sleeps long enough for me to eat something myself before my DH leaves for work. Then, she wakes up is changed again and offered some more formula. Takes about 2 ounces, gags on it and starts crying. I burp her and then lay her down on the floor so I could try and play with both her and my DS who I realize I haven't seen barely since I got him dressed this morning.

I then go into a different room so I can change my clothes since she has finally calmed down a little bit and it really warmed up here so I needed something lighter on. I took both babies in there with me. DCG in her bouncy seat and DS in his jumperoo and she fusses the whole entire time and then breaks into her shrill cry again.

She is sleeping again and so is DS- hopefully for longer than a half hour but really? I don't understand what the issue is with her. I am assuming it is gas but what I am doing differently than her parents? She has drank a grand total of 4 ounces since getting here 7 hours ago. And she spit most of it up. How can they say that she eats so much at every sitting with them?

I am usually so good with infants. All my previous DCPs have gone as far as to call me the "baby whisperer" happyface

I really want to chat with DCM about the eating issues and I did send her a text during the 45 minute meltdown letting her know she wasn't having a great day and told her what was up. But, I don't want to sound like I don't know what I am doing when evidently they can get her to eat just fine.

Or is it the fact she is only here an avg of 1-2 days per week? Because she was here 3 days last week and by the 2nd and 3rd days she was awesome. Smiley and happy and eating wonderfully. Could a baby this young have trust issues?

Sorry this is so long but it felt good to get it out of my head!!!

Could she have reflux maybe. My son had that and had a terrible time.

I can't imagine the bottle feedings being much dif at home unless it's a problem with a certain nipple maybe?

I hope you figure it out sorry I can't help more. I don't take infants because its so hard to tell whats wrong and they are so much more 1 on 1 time consuming than a group of toddlers.

Good luck!

[Breezy]

Could she have reflux maybe. My son had that and had a terrible time.

I can't imagine the bottle feedings being much dif at home unless it's a problem with a certain nipple maybe?

I hope you figure it out sorry I can't help more. I don't take infants because its so hard to tell whats wrong and they are so much more 1 on 1 time consuming than a group of toddlers.

Good luck!

She does have reflux, silent reflux her parents said. Do you think thats the issue? Anything you did to help your DS that sticks out in your mind?

[PitterPatter]

She does have reflux, silent reflux her parents said. Do you think thats the issue? Anything you did to help your DS that sticks out in your mind?

Oh geez you don't want to know!

I was told by the Ped Dr. to put rice cereal in his bottle and raise the head of his bed when he sleeps. The cereal did help it a little but is a choking hazard I know now, thank God he didn't choke. He also put him on a little... I think it was malox or something like that. This was 10 yrs ago so hard to recall. The raising of the head of the matress helped for sleeping though. Maybe you could check online for other ideas.

[Lilbutterflie]

I would definitely have a sit down chat with DCM about her feeding issues. You both have the same goal in mind... to have her daughter's best experience at daycare as possible! Ask mom to feed her while you are talking about it; and try to see what could be different. Ask mom what her ped has told her to help with the reflux and give you any pointers for things they are doing at home.

Another thing; I have a 6 mo DCG right now; and she gags if the temperature is not just perfect. She is VERY picky about the temp of her bottle, and she likes it a little warmer than most babies I've taken care of. I always know to warm it up a little more if she gags.

[Nellie]

I like the idea of mom showing you how she eats. One day at pick up ask mom to feed the baby to show you how she does it. Say "she just wont eat without gagging or eat more then a few ounces for me, and at this point I want to make sure she is eating ok" I am sure mom will be more then happy to show you how she does it. And if she gags/doesnt eat with her, then at least you know and can move on with trying everything else. IF if does work with mom, then try to mimic it each time? ask for moms shirt, for her scent?

When I was 10 or 11 my mom had my baby sister. My mom was going to college and that semseter she had one night class a week. My dad was a farmer and would be in the barn milking and my sisters and I would watch the baby while dad was in the barn. My mom probable had my sister on a friday and went to school Wen. night. I remember my sister crying alot the first few weeks. She was nursed and took a bottle ok for us when mom was gone. Finally I started wearing the robe my mom wore around the house,my sister was so content. She ate better and would cuddle up to me in my arms and hardly cried. Getting the mom's shirt might do wonders.

[Abigail]

Eliminate as many variables as you can. Part of this issue is the poor routine and how little time you get with this baby creates unfamiliarity constantly. Those are huge factors. Besides those, you're using a drop in bottle when she uses Dr. Browns so have her bring one or two bottles. Also, have you warmed it up at all? Some people don't even warm up formula they just do it at room temperature. Another factor could be whether you're using faucet water or bottled water. Of course you can always have mom demonstrate and try different positions on holding and everything, but I'm trying to think of things that have not been stated.