Almost 3 Year Old

[TGT09]

Hi all, I have an almost 3 year old dcb who has very minimal fine motor skills. He is the baby of 4 and I'm afraid they are just doing things for him instead of making him do them himself. It's frustrating. I know every child is different but I'm wondering if there are ways I can help him.

The things that he cannot do:
-He cannot feed himself with a spoon or fork. He can get fingerfoods by himself but that's it! If I feed him ANYTHING that requires utensils, he either eats it with his fingers or not at all....with the latter being the most of the time.
-He cannot take off his own shoes, claims it's too hard (mom always does it for him). He can take his own socks off but he cannot put them on. He can barely pull up his own underwear and pants after he potty's.

I just don't know what to do to help with those two things. I work on fine motor a lot here but it's not for either of those things. I don't know how to "teach" him to do either of those things.

Any suggestions??

[Unregistered]

I have a similar little boy, he will be 3 in June! I have accepted a few babies and have been really pushing the indepence around here! He is using the potty which is great, but he can not pull down his pants/underwear or pull them up! WHAT, REALLY!?!? I haven't had this problem before! His dad works out of the country about 3 months at a time and then home for a month, Grandma and mom absolutely baby him and then he has a 14 year old sister, he is definately spoiled and treated like a baby! I just don't know how to help him! I also feel that he cannot stay on task, or follow simple directions! I constantly find myself saying, _______ look at Me, what are we doing? We are pulling your pants up can you help me! He is off talking about tractors and doesn't listen or really have a clue, and just expects me to do it for him! This happens to often and I worry about him! I have younger kids around 2 that can follow simple directions and have passed him up! I have even my two year olds bring me their coats and shoes to go outside, they help me get them on if they cannot do it on their own and when we come in they unzip and hang their coats up, I will untie their shoes but they need to take them off and put them away!! He is completely oblivious and it takes me 10 mins longer going in and out trying to get him to do SOMETHING, he doesn't even push his arms into his coat sleeves, he is like a noodle and he is going to be 3!! I feel like I am dealing with an oversized 6 month old alot of the time! I feel your pain and would like some advice as well! : (

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

time, and praise,... that works here, I give my "learners " 2 plates at meal time. one with just a tad of food, that I give them, and the other I serve them from. That way they are learning to do it, and Im portioning right, but if I need to sneak them a couple bites, I can. I do the same with cups. my youngest table kid will be 2 in august and they all use a topless cup. no sippies.

[momma2girls]

I had a 3 1/2 yr. old girl, that still uses a sippee cup at home. When she first came, couldn't pull her own panties and pants down to use the bathroom, couldn't put her slip on velcro tennis shoes, couldn't even begin to place her coat on- the list goes on and on.... I taught her alot of things here!!!

[DBug]

I had a similar child with the sock/shoe issue. Same age, and same excuse -- Mommy always does it. So, I waited for an opportunity to battle it out. We were on our way outside one day for an hour of playtime. All the other little ones were in good moods (very important for something like this). After everyone else was ready to go out, she still didn't have her shoes on. So, I told her we'd wait. I absolutely refused to do it for her. She cried, screamed, kicked the floor ... but she wanted to go outside, so eventually she did it herself. It took a full 30 minutes of the rest of us just standing there waiting for her. But ever since then, she hasn't taken me on again. She may complain, but she does things herself.

As long as the kid knows how to do what I'm asking, I pick a time and then take a stand. Mommy and Daddy may still do things for them at home, but when they're here, they know they need to do it themselves.

Using utensils -- I'm not sure how I'd handle that one. Probably just lots of praise for them when they do use them, and for all the other ones that are already using them.

Good luck!

[Daycare Mommy]

For utensils, you could have him practicing outside of mealtimes as well. Here's a link with some cool ideas:

http://lapbooksbycarisa.homestead.com/TotTrays.html

And for the shoes, I do almost the same thing DBug does. The only difference is I don't make the other kids wait. I cut them all loose in the yard and have the child who needs to put their shoes on sit at the back door (outside on the steps) until they do it.

[momma2girls]

Mom and Dad always did everything for her. We waited for her as well outside til she put her shoes on, then she could join us. The same thing in the bathroom, screamed I can't do it, didn't even try to pull them down to use the bathroom, til I made her. The parents were so amazed at what she could do on her own. Although she still pooped in her pants most of the time, or in her pullup at resttime!!!! She is 4 in May!!

[TGT09]

YES! I hear "I can't do it" too many times a day.

Great ideas and advice! Thanks.

This same child after I wrote this, we had a showdown of sorts for him saying "please". He rarely says please and I'd had it since all my other kids do. So he wanted to play with a certain toy that was up high and we sat there for 20 minutes until he said "please". I even kept telling him, ________, all you have to do is say please! HELLO! Stubborn, much??