When Is Enough Enough

[awestbrook713]

I am at my wits end. I have a family with a 3 yr old and a 6 yr old.

Problem #1- Mom didn't like my rates and gave me a hard time telling me I am to expensive, even though she gets her daycare paid for but due to them only paying their rates there would be a parent portion due each week since she doesn't come much during the school year. I told her sign or leave, she and ex (who is a good guy very understanding) decide they will just have me watch the girl in the morning instead of grandma so I get atleast 3 hours and subsidy will pay for most of the weekly rate, so she signed problem averted.

Problem#2- Mom shows up yesterday morning and asks me if I have girl toys (babydolls) bc her 6 yr old is upset and doesn't want to come here because shes bored. I have had no complaints before. I have books, blocks, beads with string, coloring books (some that are strictly girls coloring books) stuffed animals that they play babys with, action figures, toy cars, sliceable fruit, etc. Not one complaint until the first day she is here after christmas. I tell mom I have unisex toys and she says well are you gonna get girl toys you do have girls you watch you know. EXCUSE ME!?! I told her my business and will not be told how to run it and that I can look into the need bc between christmas and birthdays and regular bills I have been tight on money. I was livid over this.

Problem#3- Mom has not called,txted, informed me at pick up or drop off girls won't be coming till later/ at all, multiple absences bc mom always seems to have the day off of work.

What should I do I am seriously at my wits end and am tired of this mom and her attitude and bossiness. She is not my boss I am. We will see how drop off goes today maybe I will be one family less if she acts anything like yesterday.

[boysx5]

Yes its our businessbwe get to run it the way we want I will go the extra mile for a parent but not when they act like that

[littlemissmuffet]

#1. The cost of living is expensive. The cost of running a daycare is expensive. If you can't afford me, there is a dayhome across the street from me who is considerably cheaper. Mind you, she feeds the kids ramen, chicken nuggets and McDonalds every day, there is no outdoor play and I can't remember the last time the blinds in that house were open. But feel free to sign up over there.
I do not negotiate my prices under any circumstances, and I will not discuss this matter with you again.

#2. The toys I have in my dayhome are the toys that work. I have been in this business much longer than you have even been a mother, I am quite certain I know what I am doing. You are the only person in 10 years to have made a complaint so forgive me if I don't take it seriously. You are more than welcome to make a donation of toys to the dayhome - thanks in advance.

#3. Consider this your final warning in regards to no calls for lates and absenteism... you MUST CALL (no texts) if you will be dropping off late or not dropping off at all. The next incident will result in immediate termination.

These responses might sound harsh but I am very to the point with my parents. I don't have time or energy to baby adults - my job is to deal with the children!

[Blackcat31]

I am at my wits end. I have a family with a 3 yr old and a 6 yr old.

Problem #1- Mom didn't like my rates and gave me a hard time telling me I am to expensive, even though she gets her daycare paid for but due to them only paying their rates there would be a parent portion due each week since she doesn't come much during the school year. I told her sign or leave, she and ex (who is a good guy very understanding) decide they will just have me watch the girl in the morning instead of grandma so I get atleast 3 hours and subsidy will pay for most of the weekly rate, so she signed problem averted.

This is an issue because YOU are letting it be. You need to require your new contracts to be in by a specific date and let parents know if it isn't in by then, they will NOT be accepted into care and consider withdrawn for your program. NO EXCEPTIONS and NO discussions. Be firm.

Problem#2- Mom shows up yesterday morning and asks me if I have girl toys (babydolls) bc her 6 yr old is upset and doesn't want to come here because shes bored. I have had no complaints before. I have books, blocks, beads with string, coloring books (some that are strictly girls coloring books) stuffed animals that they play babys with, action figures, toy cars, sliceable fruit, etc. Not one complaint until the first day she is here after christmas. I tell mom I have unisex toys and she says well are you gonna get girl toys you do have girls you watch you know. EXCUSE ME!?! I told her my business and will not be told how to run it and that I can look into the need bc between christmas and birthdays and regular bills I have been tight on money. I was livid over this.

Your response to her was very passive aggressive. You don't want to be told how to run your business but replied that you will look into it (which is basically appeasing her...kwim?) I would say "I am sorry your DD feels that way. I have plenty of developmentlaly appropriate toys and activities. I assure your DD has many things to choose from." Do NOT allow this mom to engage you in how or with what toys/materials are necessary to run YOUR business.

Problem#3- Mom has not called,txted, informed me at pick up or drop off girls won't be coming till later/ at all, multiple absences bc mom always seems to have the day off of work.

What should I do I am seriously at my wits end and am tired of this mom and her attitude and bossiness. She is not my boss I am. We will see how drop off goes today maybe I will be one family less if she acts anything like yesterday.

This happens because YOU allow her to do this. Do NOT accept her children into care if she is late or not following whatever rules you have about this matter in your handbook/policies. If YOU stop letting her do this, it won't be an issue any more. I would tell her face to face AND with a written reminder that you WILL be enforcing ALL policies from now on, this will no longer be an issue. Parents are sometimes like the DCK's...you have to be firm and mean it if you want them to listen.

Please excuse me for being blunt. My intent is not to be rude but be honest and helpful.... (I answered in bold above)

[awestbrook713]

Thank you all I want is honestly and being blunt is the best way to handle things I am finding. Mom showed up today and not a word about what happened yesterday. I will not be buying any additional toys unless "I" see the need.

[daycare]

Thank you all I want is honestly and being blunt is the best way to handle things I am finding. Mom showed up today and not a word about what happened yesterday. I will not be buying any additional toys unless "I" see the need.

MY husbands cousin was here over the holiday. She is a special ED teacher.

She went into my daycare room and said oh you must have all boys I don't see any girl toys... My reply was um yes I do have girls, I just dont think its right to have gender specific toys. DOlls are not only for girls and legos are not only for boys.

She didn't say anything else to me...

[Meyou]

Just had to post this article since it applies I think.

http://mommyish.com/stuff/lego-for-girls-already-exists-its-called-lego-987/

My reply to all toy comments related to a child's sex is, "I don't believe in gender stereotyping and don't practice it here." I believe that statement so much that my dd gave a poor teenage McD's employee a lecture about gender stereotyping when she was 4 and he asked her if she wanted a "boy toy" or a "girl toy". ::

[Kaddidle Care]

I had to laugh - our boys play with the baby dolls more than the girls! ::

(Unfortunately, I'm usually taking them away as they like to throw them and bash them. I show them how to treat the baby nicely and when they get rough again, it goes away.)

[wdmmom]

She's not calling or showing up? Because she has the day off? Did she give you this schedule ahead of time? Does she still have to pay?

Not only do I not do "No call, no shows", I tack on a $10 convenience fee per child in addition to their regular rate.

As for the toy situation, I wouldn't have fed into it. Your response should have been, "We have plenty of toys that keep her occupied all day long."

If paying you is an issue, I'd do a price increase just to appease her!

[Cat Herder]

Put a star sticker on the calendar for February 4th (or sooner).

If you still want her gone, terminate.

YOU hold the cards.

YOU have the power.

YOU have to make the decision.

YOU have to enforce it.

Good luck, hun.

[awestbrook713]

She didn't have to pay for the days she wasn't here but as of 2012 she does, it was one of my hardest sells on my new contract and I am sure I will have to fight with a few to pay the first few times, actually just had a chat with this mom last night and she read the part where I said if you are going on vacation and give me 2 weeks notice you don't have to pay for up to 2 full weeks of vacation a year she thought that if she told me ahead of time the girls won't be coming she doesnt have to pay, I made sure she understands her weekly rate is her weekly rate and the full amount will be paid whether she is here 1 day or all 4, I have given each family 5 personal/sick days for the year too very gracious on my part but at the rate she isn't here she will burn through them fast. As far as the no call yes she had the day off she gets alot of those just out of the blue and when I txt her to say I would appreciate some sort of notice I always get oh I'm sorry I forgot. Honestly how do you forget to call the person who takes care of your child 4 days a week. Oh well I had a good chat last night I hope some of it got through.