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Since someone posted one that was semi pro I thought this one would be appropriate as well 
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Thanks for sharing. Great article! Cool to that Ferber clarified that he never intended for parents to use CIO but rather to gradually delay response time:
"People want one easy solution, but there's no such thing. I never encouraged parents to let their babies cry it out, but one of the many treatment styles I described in my book is gradual extinction, where you delay your response time to your baby's wakings. I went to great pains in the second edition to clarify that that treatment is not appropriate for every sleep issue, of which there are many."
What he does encourage is teaching children to soothe themselves during normal nighttime wakings. But many parents extend his advice to include all bedtime-related crying. That's the type of crying it out sets kids up for stress-related problems, trust issues, anxiety disorders, reduced brain function, and a lack of independence, Narvaez writes. And since the problems are on a genetic level, they can't necessarily be fixed later in life.
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The lack of nurturing, and the prevalence of parents who put their own needs in front of their kids', may be to blame for the mental and physical health problems that are plaguing the United States now.
Sorry. I believe that it is the philosophy that each whimper needs to be intercepted by the overly doting parent. THIS is why children have this entitlement issue, I believe. I have so many kids in care that I can tell their parents do nothing but coddle and give in to them. Sad for these kids. The world doesn't revolve around them.
Is that an over generalization of how AP parenting is? Well, imagine how the parents who choose for their child NOT to AP them feel when over generalizations are made?Comment
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I think being emotionally UNresponsove to your children ALL the time is where the damage is done. Not a gentle "soothe yourself to sleep" with multiple check ins every 5-10 minutes. I think equating one to the other is taking a giant leap. Saying that I am doing damage to my child because I did the Sleep Easy method with check ins to teach my daughter the skills to self soothe is just plain crazy!"I was raised in a middle-class family with a depressed mother, harsh father and overall emotionally unsupportive environment -- not unlike others raised in the USA," she writes. "I have only recently realized from extensive reading about the effects of early parenting on body and brain development that I show the signs of undercare -- poor memory (cortisol released during distress harms hippocampus development), irritable bowel and other poor vagal tone issues, and high social anxiety."
The lack of nurturing, and the prevalence of parents who put their own needs in front of their kids', may be to blame for the mental and physical health problems that are plaguing the United States now.
"If we want a strong country and people," she writes, "we've got to pay attention to what children need for optimal development."
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I think being emotionally UNresponsove to your children ALL the time is where the damage is done. Not a gentle "soothe yourself to sleep" with multiple check ins every 5-10 minutes. I think equating one to the other is taking a giant leap. Saying that I am doing damage to my child because I did the Sleep Easy method with check ins to teach my daughter the skills to self soothe is just plain crazy!
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I think there has to be a middle ground.
I don't think that anyone is saying don't EVER let your child cry. And I believe that after 6-9 months that children do need to learn to self-soothe, BUT it needs to be taught in a supportive, nurturing manner. I imagine those of you that advocate the CIO method have and DO practice it in a supportive way. The problem is when you have parents who leave the kid screaming for long periods of time....THAT is when the child experiences mistrust and the damage is done.Comment
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Yes I agree completely with this. Unfortunately most of us are lumped into the same category.
I would also venture to say that parents who leave their babies to cry for hours on end at night are also emotionally UNavailable during the day as well. The damage is done in a 24/7 cycle not just overnight.Comment
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Just ignore me........posted in the wrong place........Last edited by Meeko; 12-16-2011, 11:09 AM. Reason: I am going crazy...just posted in the wrong place!Comment
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IMHO the debate over CIO feels much the same as the "Stay at Home Mom" vs. the "Go to Work Mom" debate. There are those who will choose one side or the other and continually try to justify it by trying to make those who choose the opposite feel guilty in their choice.
I believe that the majority of parents (and providers) do what they feel is best for their children/charges. I've been in this business long enough now that my very first daycare children are now reaching adulthood and I have contact with many of them. They are all well adjusted, happy people. Some of their parents used some form of CIO, some didn't. Some were permissive with their children, some were more strict.
To say that a method like the "Ferber Method" is the cause of most of the ills in society today is laughable.Comment
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"gradual extinction, where you delay your response time to your baby's wakings"
That is the only version of CIO or Ferber method I have ever heard of. :confused:- Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.
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I think people take gradual to mean 2-3 days. Thats not gradual in my opinion. For us, it takes 2 years. We don't let them Cry, ever, but we do delay the sleep aids we've provided them (nursing, ect) as they hit 18 months, by 2 years they are sleeping through the night and putting themselves to sleep.
Shutting off that need to respond to your child causes you to severe that biologically intuition that moms have for their babies.
I always tell my friends and new mama's that I'm counseling (I'm in the process of becoming an IBCLC and will go to work as an IBCLC full time when all my kids are in school - daycare is my interim job) if it doesn't feel right, it isn't. If you have to fight the urge to go an attend your child, something is wrong.Comment
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This is what I think too. Babies cry for a reason, whether it be a diaper change, milk, or a snuggle. I don't understand how one CAN ignore a baby's cries, I mean especially under a year where they are so helpless. I can completely understand having to pee and putting the baby down for a minute, or the baby who is colicy and cries a lot and a parent NEEDING to put their baby down so they don't do something stupid (shake them for example) while they go outside and regroup...Comment
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I found another one, this one from the Huffington Post
I found another article today about CIO. I didn't want to start a new thread so here it is.
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