Deciding To Term Without Cause

[kidkair]

I wouldn't term anyone to make room for the infant. I would just let them know the earliest date I could take their infant and let them figure it out. I currently have a younger sibling but not the older because the older was placed in a daycare that doesn't take infants. Parents can and do divide their kids and I'm sure that was a risk she considered when she got pregnant. I had one family let me know they were trying for a second one so that I would be able to plan ahead when interviewing.

[Sunchimes]

I know Blackcat, and I've thought of that. It took her almost 4 months to quit screaming when another child looked at her. Now, all 3 get along pretty well on the rare times they are all here, and she doesn't cry anymore. I worry that a new group will start it all up again for her.

[MsMe]

You are in a tough spot.

Thankfully I have always been able to have a spot open for my families as they have more children. I know I couldn't make the choice of who had to go if I didn't...it would be the family having the new baby (even if they were my lingest runnign family)

You mentioned all your Moms have odd hours....maybe if you can let everyone know that you will be needing a spot for the baby the other Mothers could flex their sched to make it work for everyone?

I always search for the option that is going to make it 'work' for everyone...and maybe this isn't possible, but I hope you find the right choice.

[Sunchimes]

Kidkair, we live in a really small town. There isn't anyone who will do the kind of last minute drop in care that she needs. And just working part time, she can't afford to pay full time prices. It's a mess, and there just doesn't seem to be a good answer. I keep saying that it's still 2 1/2 months away and anything could happen.

The irony is that I was looking forward to terming Kid3 because of her crying. I stopped just short of crossing off each day on the calendar. But, I don't feel that way now, darn it.

[Blackcat31]

I know Blackcat, and I've thought of that. It took her almost 4 months to quit screaming when another child looked at her. Now, all 3 get along pretty well on the rare times they are all here, and she doesn't cry anymore. I worry that a new group will start it all up again for her.

Please don't think I was trying to make you feel bad because I truly was not. I can just see both sides and either way someone is going to be unhappy with whatever you decide to do. I think you probably already know what you want to do and the more everyone weighs in on it, you are just going to worse.

Ultimatley, I say that you need to do what works out for you and even though someone will be hurt...it is what it is and life isn't always fair. Just be honest to whoever you term and hope they understand that it was a really tough decision either way. I hope you find a good resolution.


Is a helper possible?

Maybe, your waiver will come through...(I'm crossing my fingers for you)

[mismatchedsocks]

Alot can change by March. Maybe make a choice after you hand out your new contracts, to see if everyone likes the changes??? I know where you are coming from, its hard. Hope you get an exception. Here in WI they dont give those out!

[Sunchimes]

Thanks MsMe. I hope so too. I've used reams of paper trying to work out some sort of scheduling for this, but there is too much fluidity in their hours, while at the same time they are locked in to their hours. Mom2 may not know her weekly schedule until Tuesday, but once it is posted, she can't go in and say "Oh, I don't have a baby sitter then, can I switch to another day?" And of course, the one who is a sub is on call and I can't plan around her. It's a mess. I like these families so much (they aren't perfect, and until I came to this forum, I had some gripes, but after reading things here, I want to give them all a hug!) ;-)

[Sugar Magnolia]

Sugar Magnolia, about my house. It is in a historic district and qualifies for historic designation and the plaque, but we haven't bothered to do it. I started the paperwork a time or two but never finished. This is actually my 3rd historic home.

We don't have central heat, and it isn't very high on our list of things to do. We use a Dearborn heater, which is considered an "open space heater", and not allowed. I also don't have a dishwasher or any place to put one. I have indoor cats and dogs that come indoors sometimes.

We'd like to move back to the city, but this isn't the time to try to trade a house in a small town for a house in the city! ;-)

Thanks for offering though.

Awww that's a total bummer. Yeah I can see how space heaters are a no go. That's a shame. I love old houses too. I'd apply for the waiver anyways and see what they say.

[Sunchimes]

Aw Blackcat, it's nice of you to be concerned about that. I didn't think that at all. I wanted everyone to weigh in on it--I was sort of hoping for some amazing viewpoint that hadn't occurred to me. As many hours as I've fretted over this, I was pretty sure I'd considered every angle though. ;-)

Until recently, I knew exactly what to do, the kid with the worst hours and most screaming---and the best parents. But, she's suddenly gotten over that and is a cool kid.

My husband is partially retired and is here more than he isn't, so I have a helper. Unfortunately, they don't give any leeway for listed homes.

Maybe they will give a waiver. They weren't encouraging. It's still nice to have found a place where people offer suggestions and empathy.

[MyAngels]

It sounds like your families have unpredictable schedules and may not all be there at the same times often - am I interpreting that right?

If that's the case, maybe you could talk to them all, or the one you would be terming, and ask them to find a reliable back up provider for the days you would find yourself over limit. They might find that preferable to losing an outstanding provider.

I've also had families over the years that I could not accomodate their newborns right away. They all found alternate care until I had room, and then switched the new baby to me when I could accomodate them.