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Several days ago, someone mentioned a crying spot. Can I just say, BRILLIANT!!!
I have a 3.5 yr old who has been with me about 5 months. She had never been in daycare before, and is quite spoiled. She's smart and outgoing, but cries - screams actually - at the drop of a hat. Goes into hysterics yelling, "I want my family!!!" "I miss my MOM!!" (or dad, or sissy, or grandma, etc). She just acts like she cannot bear to be without her family for more than 15 min or she'll just die. She's mature in every other way, but just has this severe separation anxiety. (Let's be honest - it's more for attention or power than anything else LOL)
Well, when someone mentioned they had a crying spot where a kid has to go when they are crying, and it is left up to them when they are ready to get up, I thought I would give it a try for this girl. IT WORKS!! The first time, I placed her there and gently said, "If you want to cry you can sit here and cry. When you think you are done crying, you can get up." As she sat there and started getting quieter, I reminded her that she could get up whenever she stops crying - it's your choice. So she got up and resumed playing. The next time, I said "let's go to our crying spot", and walked her over there and reminded her how it works - you sit here while you cry, and you decide when you are ready to get up. The 3rd time, the hands went up in front of her eyes (telling me the waterworks were coming) and she walked herself to the crying spot, cried about 2 minutes, and got up on her own. No prompting or explanations from me at all. O.M.G!!!!!! This is GENIUS!!!
I think it works because she realizes she is getting NO benefit from throwing a fit. Nobody is going to pat her back and tell her mom will be here soon, nobody is going to give her sympathy for it, etc., etc. Basically, she is getting no feedback or attention from it, so why bother. It is only taking her away from the fun while she has to sit there, so let's get it overwith quicker. I love it!!! Thanks to whoever had mentioned it. It was a comment within a thread, and I couldn't find it.
Now, before someone says it's mean or whatever, just realize that she has done this for months and I quickly realized it wasn't just because she was sad. She rules her home and whatever she wants is bought for her or served to her. She just can't get used to the idea that it ain't gonna happen at MY house, hence the crying jags. Yes, I used to console her and assure her mom was coming, and sissy was getting off the bus soon, but it never improved. So far, the crying spot is working. I'm happy, the other kids are happy, and the crying jags are shorter. Win/Win/Win.
I have a 3.5 yr old who has been with me about 5 months. She had never been in daycare before, and is quite spoiled. She's smart and outgoing, but cries - screams actually - at the drop of a hat. Goes into hysterics yelling, "I want my family!!!" "I miss my MOM!!" (or dad, or sissy, or grandma, etc). She just acts like she cannot bear to be without her family for more than 15 min or she'll just die. She's mature in every other way, but just has this severe separation anxiety. (Let's be honest - it's more for attention or power than anything else LOL)
Well, when someone mentioned they had a crying spot where a kid has to go when they are crying, and it is left up to them when they are ready to get up, I thought I would give it a try for this girl. IT WORKS!! The first time, I placed her there and gently said, "If you want to cry you can sit here and cry. When you think you are done crying, you can get up." As she sat there and started getting quieter, I reminded her that she could get up whenever she stops crying - it's your choice. So she got up and resumed playing. The next time, I said "let's go to our crying spot", and walked her over there and reminded her how it works - you sit here while you cry, and you decide when you are ready to get up. The 3rd time, the hands went up in front of her eyes (telling me the waterworks were coming) and she walked herself to the crying spot, cried about 2 minutes, and got up on her own. No prompting or explanations from me at all. O.M.G!!!!!! This is GENIUS!!!
I think it works because she realizes she is getting NO benefit from throwing a fit. Nobody is going to pat her back and tell her mom will be here soon, nobody is going to give her sympathy for it, etc., etc. Basically, she is getting no feedback or attention from it, so why bother. It is only taking her away from the fun while she has to sit there, so let's get it overwith quicker. I love it!!! Thanks to whoever had mentioned it. It was a comment within a thread, and I couldn't find it.
Now, before someone says it's mean or whatever, just realize that she has done this for months and I quickly realized it wasn't just because she was sad. She rules her home and whatever she wants is bought for her or served to her. She just can't get used to the idea that it ain't gonna happen at MY house, hence the crying jags. Yes, I used to console her and assure her mom was coming, and sissy was getting off the bus soon, but it never improved. So far, the crying spot is working. I'm happy, the other kids are happy, and the crying jags are shorter. Win/Win/Win.
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