So Many Changes At Once

[littlemommy]

DH is losing his job the 1st of the year. We are due with #2 mid January. He just got offered a job in his field 2.5 hours away.

If he wants this job, he would move and stay with a friend, while I'd keep my daycare open here and take care of 2 kids until our house sells. We can't sell until April, so it'd be a while before we could buy down there.

I have such mixed feelings. I love the city we'd be moving to, but don't want to be apart for so long, especially when I'm adjusting to our newborn. This timing is horrible. I feel like a bad wife for not being super excited for him...but these pregnancy hormones are making me cry!!

[Abigail]

Is it a really good paying job? Has he been there a long time? Honestly, if it were my husband and we were expecting he wouldn't care if I complained about that. You guys have to do what you feel is right. I think you should be with your husband and newborn and start advertising for a daycare opening in the new city! Maybe you can find temp work that you can do down their until you find the right place to do child care too since you'll be staying with a friend. I would not want to be apart from my husband. Why couldn't you sell your house until spring?

[littlemommy]

We got that first time homebuyer's tax credit and if we sell before April, we have to pay it back.
We are just finishing up a full bathroom remodel, and my dad has done most of the work. I would feel kinda bad selling the house after my dad has put in sooo many hours here.
I know my business would be great in that city. I could go all organic like I've wanted-here there is no demand for it. I don't know how I would move with him and start advertising when we wouldn't have a house to live in. We'd pry be staying with a friend for a while, since there's no way we could afford rent and our mortgage payment here on one income. He would have a bit of a pay raise, but not enough to live off one pay check.

[Heidi]

hang in there, little Mommy!

It will be tough on both of you, for sure, but you can do it!


You should definately start making plans now for how to make things run smoothly. Maybe you can look for ways to make being apart more fun?
Some creative strategies might be in order..

I think she needs some ideas, ladies! Here are my suggestions:

-Make sure when he comes home for weekends that you spend some time alone together. Find someone you trust to watch the children, and go out at least every other weekend. Not just dinner and a movie, either. Do something you wouldn't normally do, like rent a hotel room for a few hours!

-On that note, you could have some racey phone calls, too!

-On a more wholesome note, you can stick love notes in his luggage for him to find, or a batch of his favorite cookies, or a tiny piece of lingerie with your perfume on it. darn, there I go again! Gosh!

-Get the kids those books for Christmas where someone reads out loud into them Have your hubby narrate them.

http://www.hallmark.com/online/in-stores/storybooks/recordable-storybooks/?mc=T_S_G_ED_GC_RSB_GEN&gclid=CPbHoZm6gq0CFUHRKgodBCcdSw

[LittleCrawfishCC]

I second BBO!!!! :-) hahaha

[kathiemarie]

To be honest 2.5 hour drive is not that long of a drive. People do it here everyday for work. Is it ideal? No but its is do able. Is it a mon-friday job? If so he can drive home friday night and go back early monday morning. My husband worked out of state when our son was born. For the first month my husband was gone.

[Breezy]

Could you rent your current house out for the amount of your mortgage and rent in the new city as well?

If not, then like a previous poster suggested he could come home Friday night and go back Monday morning. Otherwise, my hubby was deployed when our ds was 2 weeks old for 6 months and it wasnt easy but I found out how strong I was in the process. Not ideal being on your own but you can do it!

[littlemommy]

Ladies-Thank you so much for your support!!

BBO- I was laughing at your ideas! They are great!! It is a M-F job, and he would be able to come home on the weekends. All of my family lives here, so I would have help during the week.

We've thought about renting out our house, but are afraid that it could easily be destroyed.

[Heidi]

Ladies-Thank you so much for your support!!

BBO- I was laughing at your ideas! They are great!! It is a M-F job, and he would be able to come home on the weekends. All of my family lives here, so I would have help during the week.

We've thought about renting out our house, but are afraid that it could easily be destroyed.

Ya-don't do that! My sister and several other people I know own rentals. You don't want to go there.

My plumber is the winner of bad renters, though. Apparently, his house was recently raided and shut down-a meth lab! Oh, and it's not in a big city-town is 2600 people.

[boysx5]

I did this with dh when we were having # 2 it was a six hour drive dh drove home every weekend we did it for three months it wasn't the best but I did have my parents to help. When I moved it was harder since I had no family or friends around to help and my oldest was only 15 months old. Now after looking back it was the best choice we made I now have three more sons and we have moved again six years ago for dh job and it has made me a stronger person

[MyAngels]

It will be tough, but in the grand scheme of things a few months is not too long (take it from someone who has been married for 28 years ). Just make sure that the little things don't get you down, and someday you will look back and realize that this time has made you stronger as a family. ((Hugs)) to you and your family.

[littlemommy]

The main thing I'm worried about is how long it could take for our house to sell. We have 2 bedrooms that need to be drywalled. The dry wall is in them, it's just not done. We have been working on re-doing a bathroom forever. Yay home projects!

DH said we could try to sell it as is, with the drywall in the rooms but not finished. I think that would really be a turn off to a buyer. We can't afford to pay someone to finish it. As soon as I let my DCF's know that he has moved and our house is for sale I could be completely out of work very quickly!

[MyAngels]

The main thing I'm worried about is how long it could take for our house to sell. We have 2 bedrooms that need to be drywalled. The dry wall is in them, it's just not done. We have been working on re-doing a bathroom forever. Yay home projects!

DH said we could try to sell it as is, with the drywall in the rooms but not finished. I think that would really be a turn off to a buyer. We can't afford to pay someone to finish it. As soon as I let my DCF's know that he has moved and our house is for sale I could be completely out of work very quickly!

Could you take out a HELOC or a short term signature loan to get the work done before you put it on the market?

Maybe talk to a local realtor to discuss the pros and cons of putting it on the market "as is" or finishing the work before trying to sell.