Parent Lied About Child's Illness Today

[CristineFCC]

Hi everyone, I'm new here, I am a home daycare provider and have been lurking in these forums for a long time. Now, I really need input.

Monday, I woke up feeling very sick. Nausea, etc. I called everyone and informed them of being sick. I closed, refunded, and got much needed rest.

Tuesday, we're back in business. I feel 100%. Well, turns out all the kids were sick, and even though I closed, they ended up staying home sick.

The doozy: they were all planning on bringing their kids despite being sick and didn't inform me until I told them I was sick first.

It gets better.... My first drop off (11m.o.) comes and I ask her any and all relevant questions... Is he still vomiting? Diarrhea? Lethargy? Dehydrated? Mom says no to everything, that he's fine, and that everything is good. She leaves for work. An hour later, I get a call from dad wanting to check in on their baby. He mentions, casually, that the child spent the night in the hospital last night. WHAT?!?!?! Mom didn't mention a thing. I now feel betrayed.


Mom may have been afraid that I was going to send him home, or maybe she simply didn't think it was relevant information, regardless... She should have told me that he was in the ER yesterday, and that he was, in fact, still sick last night. I personally feel she lied by omission. I'm very tempted to terminate. I need the enrollment and all, but i don't do well with liars, and now I feel I have trust issues w the family.

WWYD ?

[Ariana]

I'd be pretty ticked and would definately bring it up to her. I personally wouldn't terminate if this was a first offense but everyone's comfort level is different. If you feel you can't ever trust her again and feel you can't do business with her then terminate.

[Blackcat31]

I would consider terming but I do try to at least talk with the family and find out all the reasons for the lying first. I do not do well with liars either and feel it is a major crack in the trusting relationship but I would hear her out. I would be temted to call her at work and ask her straight up why she didn't tell you about the hospital stay. If I had my wits about me when dad called, I might even have asked him to come and pick up immediately.

Either way, you have to do what is right for you. Is this going to be somehting that will continue to build resentment against the family for you? Is this somehting you cna get past and trust the parents to not lie again? Is this somehting you can forgive due the family being a good family otherwise? Only you can answer those questions and make the next move.

If this were my situation though, I would hear them out and based on that conversation I would then decide whether or not to keep or term. I have a tough time being lied to as well as I feel I am always honest with parents and so this would be a tough pill to swallow for me.... Good luck, I hope you can work through this or at least come to a good decision.

I also wanted to add that if you register and stay, you can post freely and not have to wait for your posts to be moderated.

[CristineFCC]

I'd be pretty ticked and would definately bring it up to her. I personally wouldn't terminate if this was a first offense but everyone's comfort level is different. If you feel you can't ever trust her again and feel you can't do business with her then terminate.

Ditto... I'm going to talk to her.... I don't want to be a jerk.... But I'm sooo irritated. I already talked to dad about it, and he said "well at least I told you ". Uh, yes you did, but had you not called I wouldn't have known. Kwim?

[permanentvacation]

Yep! Getting horribly ill children delivered to us in the morning from a parent who knows dang well they have no business bringing their child to daycare that day is simply one of the pains of doing daycare. Plenty of times I've had a child dropped off only to throw up or have a temperature of 102 within an hour!

I have done it both ways depending on the parents' history. If they are the type of family that doesn't care about my rules, doesn't want to be bothered with being a parent and simply dumps their kid on me so they don't have to tend to him, or if I have issues with them about other things, then I get rid of them. If however, I had never had issues with them and I know that they REALLY can't miss a day of work - either from fear of losing their job or can't afford to lose a day's pay, then I try to work things out with them. I'll call them at work and let them know that someone has to come get the child now. Then I will try to brainstorm with them about possible back up babysitters or both parents trying to work 1/2 day when the child is sick so one can be at home in the morning and the other at home in the afternoon. I do let them know they can't bring the child when they are sick. But I try to help them figure out how they can make things work for their family when the child is ill. One single mother told me that it would work better for her if she goes in to work if only for 1/2 hour then gets a call from daycare about her child having to go home. But if she calls in herself that morning, her boss will flip out. So I told to from then on to be honest about the child being ill and as long as they are not throwing up or having diarehha, she can bring the child to daycare and I'll call within an hour of her being at work for her to come get her child.

It is your company. If you have it in your contract that you don't have to give notice, or if you have anything in your contract that you can use in this case to immediately terminate, you can do so. If you REALLY need the money from this client, you might want to call the parents and send the child home today then give them a speach and stern warning about not bringing their child in while sick. You might also want to inform mom that dad called to check on the child out of concern of being in the hospital last night - so mom knows that you know that the child was SO sick they went to the hospital!

[Lucy]

I know what you mean about needing the money the child brings in. I hate that feeling. I have had some over the years that I'd LOVE to terminate, tell them off, and send them on their way. But in my area it's so hard to get enrollment, that I put up with it as best I can.

I tend to be passive-aggressive, so I would probably just throw something in during conversation about "did the ER doctor give him a prescription?" or "did they run any tests in the ER?" You know... just any little thing to let her know she was CAUGHT. It would be fun just to watch her expression and her demeanor as she tries to figure out how you know. If she just looks blankly and says "huh?", then say, "Oh, your husband mentioned you took him to the ER". In my opinion, it makes YOU the winner of her little game. She tried, she failed. Maybe she'll think twice about trying to fool you again.

People like that tick me off.

[Nellie]

Yep! Getting horribly ill children delivered to us in the morning from a parent who knows dang well they have no business bringing their child to daycare that day is simply one of the pains of doing daycare. Plenty of times I've had a child dropped off only to throw up or have a temperature of 102 within an hour!

I have done it both ways depending on the parents' history. If they are the type of family that doesn't care about my rules, doesn't want to be bothered with being a parent and simply dumps their kid on me so they don't have to tend to him, or if I have issues with them about other things, then I get rid of them. If however, I had never had issues with them and I know that they REALLY can't miss a day of work - either from fear of losing their job or can't afford to lose a day's pay, then I try to work things out with them. I'll call them at work and let them know that someone has to come get the child now. Then I will try to brainstorm with them about possible back up babysitters or both parents trying to work 1/2 day when the child is sick so one can be at home in the morning and the other at home in the afternoon. I do let them know they can't bring the child when they are sick. But I try to help them figure out how they can make things work for their family when the child is ill. One single mother told me that it would work better for her if she goes in to work if only for 1/2 hour then gets a call from daycare about her child having to go home. But if she calls in herself that morning, her boss will flip out. So I told to from then on to be honest about the child being ill and as long as they are not throwing up or having diarrhea, she can bring the child to daycare and I'll call within an hour of her being at work for her to come get her child.It is your company. If you have it in your contract that you don't have to give notice, or if you have anything in your contract that you can use in this case to immediately terminate, you can do so. If you REALLY need the money from this client, you might want to call the parents and send the child home today then give them a speech and stern warning about not bringing their child in while sick. You might also want to inform mom that dad called to check on the child out of concern of being in the hospital last night - so mom knows that you know that the child was SO sick they went to the hospital!

I think that it is awesome that helping them to brainstorm for ideas of possible back ups for emergencies. When my daughter was little I would have never thought about asking my mom or dad to watch her when she was ill, because they had to go to work too. Once after finding out that my daughter had been ill and I had missed X amount of days she said to call them if it happened again. My dad is self employed and unless he has concrete already ordered for the morning he would be able to take off. My mom is a teacher. She gets many personal and sick days off. She never uses any of them and said that she would take off to watch my daughter. I on the other hand didn't have any paid sick days and a few days off of work would finacally be a hardship.
It is true about some bosses being jerks about calling in. They act like you are lying when you call in, but if the school or daycare calls and says the child is ill it is a different story. I think it is great that you work so hard with your families.

[Michael]

Ditto... I'm going to talk to her.... I don't want to be a jerk.... But I'm sooo irritated. I already talked to dad about it, and he said "well at least I told you ". Uh, yes you did, but had you not called I wouldn't have known. Kwim?

Welcome to the Daycare.com Forum! I've upgraded your status. You can post freely now.

[Springdaze]

This goes beyond the fact that she lied to you! It's not safe for the child if you don't know they were in the hospital. Beyond whether you can trust them. i would definately say something and I dont like to confront. There's a story going round (not sure its true, but plausible) a child was medicated and DCP didnt know. She thought the kid was acting up at nap and turns out he had been on tylenol and it wore off and was having seisures because his temp was high. You have to tell her she needs to tell you whats going on.