I Have A Non-Eater Again

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

This dcb (5yrs) has been with me since Sept and NOW he decides that he doesnt like anything.

Yogurt but with no fruit, cucumbers no skin, apples no skin, oranges, popcorn no flavor(for this I dont even know what the heck he is talking about), no soup, no sandwhices. ect ect ect.

Everytime it's a meal time he ask's what we are having, then says I wont eat it.

Today he asked and my hubby (day off) yelled FOOD!!!

All he ever wants to eat is kraft dinner and hot dogs mixed together. YUCK.
Im sorry Im not gonna have this kid make me look like all I serve is that crap.

I dont do seperate meals and I aint catering to him either.

I am at the point where I just dont care if he is hungry anymore, meals are served and if they choose not to eat it, so be it.

[kidkair]

I answer 'food' to kids like that too. I tell them that if they don't like it they can just leave it. I also tell them I don't want to hear about it and if they complain right after I set it in front of them I take it away. I served, they refused, and sit there with nothing (I take their milk too). They quickly learn not to complain because there is usually at least one thing on the plate they will eat or they can have their milk. I've also found most of my picky eaters will eat anything wrapped in a tortilla shell and called a taco.

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

Im just eerked. He hates everything lately and im tired of throwing his food away. So is my hubby.

DCM is the one that pays me $5 and hour.

My hubby has had to buy extra food every month.

I bascially have to tell this kid that I am not wasteing anymore food and he can bloody well finish it.

He has put me in such a bad mood today and it doesnt help the food situation.

[e.j.]

He has put me in such a bad mood today and it doesnt help the food situation.

I know it can be upsetting to have to throw good food away but it's really not worth this kind of emotional investment.

Your job as a child care provider is to provide good, nutritious meals. It's the child's job to decide whether or not to eat it. If it bothers you to throw out food, just give him a couple of bites worth of each food you've prepared. If he likes it, you can always give him more. If he doesn't like it, you haven't wasted much. Don't make a battle of it. Don't force him to eat. Don't yell at him. Don't make him feel bad about not eating. Just put his plate on the table in front of him and give him the opportunity to eat or not.

I have a group of picky eaters right now. They all know they don't have to eat anything if they don't want to but they also know I don't serve food between meals so they will have to wait until the next scheduled meal before they can eat again. I don't get angry with them; I just remind them they may be hungry. I pick my battles and this isn't one I'm willing to fight.

[Crystal]

I know it can be upsetting to have to throw good food away but it's really not worth this kind of emotional investment.

Your job as a child care provider is to provide good, nutritious meals. It's the child's job to decide whether or not to eat it. If it bothers you to throw out food, just give him a couple of bites worth of each food you've prepared. If he likes it, you can always give him more. If he doesn't like it, you haven't wasted much. Don't make a battle of it. Don't force him to eat. Don't yell at him. Don't make him feel bad about not eating. Just put his plate on the table in front of him and give him the opportunity to eat or not.

I have a group of picky eaters right now. They all know they don't have to eat anything if they don't want to but they also know I don't serve food between meals so they will have to wait until the next scheduled meal before they can eat again. I don't get angry with them; I just remind them they may be hungry. I pick my battles and this isn't one I'm willing to fight.

ITA. I refuse to allow a child's eating preferences get the best of me. They can eat, or not. Their choice.

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

Im not in the business to throw away food though and it gets personal and emotional when the parents dont pay me enough.

If I quit this profession, I lose my house.

[Crystal]

Im not in the business to throw away food though and it gets personal and emotional when the parents dont pay me enough.

If I quit this profession, I lose my house.

:confused::confused::confused:

Did I miss something? I don't think anyone said quit the profession?

:confused::confused::confused:

[Heidi]

i know it can be upsetting to have to throw good food away but it's really not worth this kind of emotional investment.

Your job as a child care provider is to provide good, nutritious meals. It's the child's job to decide whether or not to eat it. If it bothers you to throw out food, just give him a couple of bites worth of each food you've prepared. If he likes it, you can always give him more. If he doesn't like it, you haven't wasted much. Don't make a battle of it. Don't force him to eat. Don't yell at him. Don't make him feel bad about not eating. Just put his plate on the table in front of him and give him the opportunity to eat or not.

I have a group of picky eaters right now. They all know they don't have to eat anything if they don't want to but they also know i don't serve food between meals so they will have to wait until the next scheduled meal before they can eat again. I don't get angry with them; i just remind them they may be hungry. I pick my battles and this isn't one i'm willing to fight.

e x a c t l y...

[Meyou]

Im not in the business to throw away food though and it gets personal and emotional when the parents dont pay me enough.

If I quit this profession, I lose my house.

If you feel you aren't being paid enough only you can change that. It's up to you to decide your fees.

I agree with the others. I recently stopped nagging, coaxing and caring if they eat. I give smaller portions now (with 2nd's available) and I dump what they don't eat and move on. There is soooooooo much less stress in my life 3 times a day now.

[Nellie]

I know it can be upsetting to have to throw good food away but it's really not worth this kind of emotional investment.

Your job as a child care provider is to provide good, nutritious meals. It's the child's job to decide whether or not to eat it. If it bothers you to throw out food, just give him a couple of bites worth of each food you've prepared. If he likes it, you can always give him more. If he doesn't like it, you haven't wasted much. Don't make a battle of it. Don't force him to eat. Don't yell at him. Don't make him feel bad about not eating. Just put his plate on the table in front of him and give him the opportunity to eat or not.

I have a group of picky eaters right now. They all know they don't have to eat anything if they don't want to but they also know I don't serve food between meals so they will have to wait until the next scheduled meal before they can eat again. I don't get angry with them; I just remind them they may be hungry. I pick my battles and this isn't one I'm willing to fight.

Agree........I absolutely hate cutting up good fruit and cooking veggies that go uneaten for the majority of the children. I am supposed to provide so many a serving of fruits and veggies with lunch. Increase your rates to be able to the necessities. I went back and re read a previous post. It looks like on some days they are only there for a couple of hours and to top it off it is at meal time. If you keep the way you charge I would add a meal fee for days they are there less than 3 hours. Personally if I charged like that there would be a 3 hour minimum.
When my daughter was little I was in school and working. My daycare provider charged $3 hour for only the hours she was there. I didn't pick her because of her rates, but it was the best places that would open at 4am for clinical. I was with this provider for 4 years. Some semesters she was there for 50 hours a week others it was low as 15 to 20. Many times I would have one or two short days a week of two to 3 hours a day. She only charged the $3 per hour even if she was there during a meal. I always added on $5 for the meal when she was only there a couple hours. I'm sure they will understand any changes you need to make. I was a 18 year old single parent working college student. If I could come to the conclusion on what is fair I think your professional working parent will also.

[daycare]

hope this works:

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[e.j.]

Im not in the business to throw away food though

No, you're not; none of us went into the child care business to throw away food but it comes with the territory when you are dealing with young kids. The reality is, young kids tend to be very picky eaters. (Google "picky eaters" and you'll find tons of articles about this issue that might help you feel less emotional about this issue.)

I know the cost of wasted food can be aggravating - I really do. When I first started doing day care, I used to get upset at the thought of paying so much money for good food that ultimately wound up in the garbage disposal after each meal. There were many days when I was tempted to just throw the food straight from the pan into the sink because it felt like it was such a waste of time serving it! It's especially hard when you're struggling financially and don't have the money to waste. You have to find a way to get past that, though. The anger and frustration you're expressing seems to be impacting the quality of care you are providing to this boy - not to mention your own quality of life.

Getting past this issue may mean you have to change your way of thinking. For example, I realized that whether the kids ate the food or I threw it in the disposal, I was still out the same amount of food and I was still spending the same amount of money so really..... what difference did it make whether they ate it or not? Since the food was rarely eaten and usually thrown away, though, I decided to place less food on their plates. If they wanted more, they got it. If not, I saved it and served the left-overs to my family that night for dinner. This resulted in less waste.

Another thing that helps me to get less upset is by putting myself in their shoes. There are foods I won't eat because I just don't like them. Why would I expect kids in my care to eat foods they don't like? It still bothers me when the kids won't at least try something before they decide they don't like it but then again, I've never tasted lobster and have no desire to try it. It looks like a giant, red bug to me. I can't imagine being forced to eat it.

Also, based on experience with my own son, I've come to realize that there are legitimate reasons for a child choosing not to eat something - even if they can't tell me what that reason is. I thought my son's picky eating was out of stubborness. Once he could express himself better, it became clear that the reason he didn't eat fruits and veggies was not because he didn't like the flavor but because his throat would itch and swell just enough to make him feel uncomfortable but not enough for me to see that he was having an allergic reaction to the food. This experience made me much more comfortable with my decision to not push kids to eat.

and it gets personal and emotional when the parents dont pay me enough.
If I quit this profession, I lose my house.

It sounds like you're under a fair amount of stress. It's a very scary thing to think you could potentially lose your house if you can't make a go of your child care business. Not being paid enough for the job you're doing can make that fear a reality and it can also cause resentment. You have to remind yourself that the child wasn't part of the negotiation team. You either set the fee or agreed to take what the parents offered. The child had no say in this, so try not to take it out on him. You made the agreement with his parents to provide care for $5 per hour. If it isn't working for you, you may need to go back to the parents and re-negotiate a higher rate. There is the possibility that you will lose these clients if you ask for a higher rate but if you don't talk to them about it, your resentment will continue to build and it could further impact the care you provide for their son, causing them to leave anyway. As hard as it can be to do, you have to find a way to take the "personal and emotional" out of this situation and deal with it professionally.

[Blackcat31]

Getting past this issue may mean you have to change your way of thinking. For example, I realized that whether the kids ate the food or I threw it in the disposal, I was still out the same amount of food and I was still spending the same amount of money so really..... what difference did it make whether they ate it or not? Since the food was rarely eaten and usually thrown away, though, I decided to place less food on their plates. If they wanted more, they got it. If not, I saved it and served the left-overs to my family that night for dinner. This resulted in less waste.

This is sooooo true. It reminds me of my dad when I was little. He always told me to eat my dinner and if I fussed he would say, "Think of all the starving kids in the world that don't have this to eat." I always thought, "If I eat it, how is it going to help them?"

So I 100% agree that you need to change your way of thinking. Also placing a smaller amount on the plates is a great suggestion! It can be saved if it hasn't been on someone's plate.

Look at things from another angle and you will be surprised at what you see.
Hang in there.....