Need Bite Advice Quick

[Meyou]

I have a DCK that just got bitten by another DCK. It's broken through a couple of layers of skin and left several instant bruises that are dark purple. There is no blood but the skin was scraped off in several places.

Does she need a tetanus shot? I'm going to call mom now but wanted to be able to advise her.

[youretooloud]

I'd send her home to let the mom decide. The parent should probably call the doctor.

[Meyou]

I called Dad and he's calling their doctor and then calling me back.

Now what do I do with the biter?

[Blackcat31]

How old is the biter? I would definitely separate, but I guess the rest depends on if this is a first offense and the age of the biter.....

[youretooloud]

How old is the biter? I would definitely separate, but I guess the rest depends on if this is a first offense and the age of the biter.....

Yep. If he's three, he'd be in much bigger trouble, than if he were 18 months.

[Meyou]

She's 2.75 and a repeat offender. She normally bites her sibling or my 8 year old but has bitten me before. I separate her for the rest of the day in a separate play space when she bites, have her shadow me and watch her like a hawk. She bites randomly and it can be weeks or months part for the last year.

She doesn't get along well with anyone really. She tattles constantly for things that didn't happen especially on the youngest and the dropin babies. She wrecks games, takes toys and generally doesn't play well with OR around other children.

The child she bit today is the youngest and she is quite jealous of her. I normally keep them apart but today I only had a couple of kids so I decided to try them together. I turned my back to get something out of the closet and the bite happened.

[Blackcat31]

uh, I wish I had some good advice but I honestly don't. I know kids bite out of frustration and general lackof communication skills but this one almost seems as though she is doing it to get attention...

I would separate her for sure but I would also consider putting her on a probationary period where if she bites 3x's she is out. I don't know if that would work for you but I do think something needs to be done...mostly to protect the other kids but also to protect you. This is one of the frustrating things about this job and the fact that there is never an easy answer. It is just a hard subject to deal with since so many kids bite for so many different reasons.

What is the general attitude of the parents? Do they know it is a problem? Are they trying to work on it at home or does it not happen at home? There are so many variables that it sometimes feels like by the time you do figure it out, the kid is in grade school already and the point is now moot ....kwim?

Again, I wish I had some advice...all I have though is support for you! Hang in there..

[youretooloud]

I would definitely create a play place just for her alone. I don't think I'd allow her to be near the other kids today. How will her parents handle this when you tell them?

[Meyou]

The parents are on board dealing with issues. She doesn't bite at home but honestly they don't have much time awake at home just playing. It's hard for them to fix what doesn't happen at home although they do talk to her about it and have threatened to take things away at home if she doesn't behave here. (Not just for biting but for other things with her)

I'm really approaching the point of talking about terminating. I don't feel like I can keep other children safe from her unpredictable behavior unless she is separated. I can't keep her separated forever though.

She's an attention seeking child. Normally the first thing she says when anyone enters a room is, "Look at me!" while jumping or just tilting her head and smiling. I do think this is attention seeking behavior or jealousy. She almost always bites on the back usually when other children are seated facing away from her. She normally bites me on the back of the leg when my back is to her.

[countrymom]

I'd say "good bye" there will be no child ever who wants to bite me just because she wants attention, I find it odd that she doesn't bite her parents. At this age she knows better, its bad to say, but sometimes you need a child to bite her back to see the pain.

[wdmmom]

That'd be a ticket out the door. I don't do biting. And, if she's a repeat offender and almost 3, you can bet she's biting because of anger, frustration or behavior.

[Meyou]

Here is the larger problem. I would be terming both children (she has a sibling) and their mother happens to be a friend of 20+ years. How do I term without losing my friend?

I will lose the friend, that I have no doubt. I nearly "ended" the friendship when I got rid of part time care and they had to go FT.

[Meyou]

DC girl that was bitten has two gouges out of her arm and deep bruises several hours later. The doctor said since it was cleaned well and her tetanus was up to date we were to watch it for 48 hours and if there was any sign of redness, heat or swelling that he would put her on a 10 day course of antibiotics right away.

[Blackcat31]

Here is the larger problem. I would be terming both children (she has a sibling) and their mother happens to be a friend of 20+ years. How do I term without losing my friend?

I will lose the friend, that I have no doubt. I nearly "ended" the friendship when I got rid of part time care and they had to go FT.

Since mom is a long time friend, I would talk with her honestly and see if you can ask her to put herself in your shoes and see how she would deal with this issue....especially if it concerns the safety of others. How would she feel if it were her child being biten all the time?

Maybe you can keep the sib and mom can find another program (same age kids and not a mixed age group) that keeps her dd too busy to bite. I don't mean that you are doing anything wrong, just that you have littles that you have to watch out for....kwim?

[thecrazyisout]

Sometimes you can term a child mutually...meaning, sit with the mother and come out with a "behavior improvement plan." If by your suggested date, this behavior does not improve, then you and mom have to work together to find what is in the child's best interst. Mention that sometimes it is a change in environment and you may not be the right person for her child and something isn't working. I think when you talk about the child's best interest at stake and talk to her about what you are seeing, she may understand where you are coming from. Keep it clear that this is not that you don't like her child, but you care enough about her that you want to find the best fit for her. This might help the blow a bit.