OMG... I REALLY Don't Like This Mom

[MamaBear]

I complained about this same mom the other day. My husband says I need to terminate her because she ticks me off ALL the time. This is the latest reason!

Yesterday her son is here and suddenly has a VERY red cheek. Its raised and puffy. Then I find bumps on his chest and back. THEN I discover he has a fever of 100.2. I call her ASAP to get him and text her a picture of his face. She shows up an hour later (REALLY?) and takes him home but says she may or may not take him to the dr. I tell her she has to get a dr.'s note to return to daycare. I tell her that I'm pretty sure its 5th Disease (Slapped Cheek Disease) because I'd seen that a few years ago. Also that he needs to stay home tomorrow no matter what due to his fever.

Hours later she texts me that she took him to the dr and that it is definitely 5th Disease, and as of 9pm his temp is gone and dr says he is no longer contagious so he'll be ok to return today (Friday). I quickly reply with no, he needs to stay home tomorrow because MY policy states that if he has a fever, he has to stay home for 24 hrs after fever has broken. I didn't say this to her, but I don't care if the Dr said he's not contagious anymore... It's my daycare and my rules. I even have in my policy that if a child has this disease they need to stay home for 24 hrs after diagnosis and get a note clearing that they are 100% non-contagious.

Also let me mention that NOBODY else in my small daycare has been sick at all here for the past month +. Not a sniffle, runny nose, nothing. So I know that he didn't get it here.

ANYWAY... Fast forward to just now... I'm looking on my daycare Facebook page and I look at this little boy's mom's FB page since she's a friend on there. First she posted the text pic I sent her of the boy's red cheek on her wall! That was weird to me... Then she announces on there that he has 5th Disease. A lot of her friends are commenting how sad and poor baby, etc. Then this friend of hers says "Its amazing how much disease and illness the kids can get from daycare". REALLY???!!! So the mom responds with "I know... its so frustrating". I was so pissed reading this because she KNOWS that nobody else here is or has been sick for so long. We just talked about that a few days before this.

SOOOO I respond to the comments and say "He definitely didn't get it at the daycare... Like you know, nobody else has had any symptoms here. Daycare is always to blame He could have gotten it anywhere really." Then the DCM responds with this: "I have no idea where he got it, over the past 2 weeks he has only been home and daycare, kids get sick, just the way it is"... So she is STILL blaming me!!! And so when you scroll down her page she has pictures of all the kids recent outings!!! Last week he was at her older son's preschool Christmas party and the DCB is in pics playing with ALL kinds of other toddlers!!!! Then theres an album from a week ago of him at the zoo with a group of kids... And pics of him at a park playing with other babies the day after Thanksgiving! SO really? YOu haven't been anywhere for the past 2 weeks???? You liar!

Soooo I respond with my last comment: "Maybe he got it during the group zoo trip he went on, or the park trip, or at his brother's school Christmas party play last weekend? Who knows. But definitely not here. I just hope nobody else in the daycare comes down with it". Is she so stupid that she doesn't realize that she has picture evidence on her page right there showing him playing with other kids recently and then still tries to say she doesn't know where he could have got it?? It's crazy!

I am so peeved right now so I apologize if my post is fuming with anger. But this mom ticks me off all the time. Should I terminate her for making me mad so often? I really want to. But not sure how I'd do it... what would the reasons be... besides I DONT LIKE YOU WOMAN!

Okay... Thanks... I needed to vent that. So freakin mad.

[sharlan]

I don't blame you for being angry with her.

That is a very good reason NOT to be friends on facebook.

[MamaBear]

Agree. I'm strongly considering ending this FB daycare page. Its only for daycare parents so its been harmless until now. But now the damage is done. ERRRRR...

[cheerfuldom]

I really think that you should remove the FB page if you cannot refrain yourself from getting into a post war with a daycare mom. Even if you are right, posting back and forth is only going to make you look unprofessional and confrontational. If you dread seeing this woman and she is making you resent your job (and you can afford to lose the income), then yes, you are perfectly within your right to terminate. I don't know the whole story about this woman....but I do know that it is very important that you build up a tolerance to deal with this sort of behavior. You dont have to prove yourself to anyone. If she really thinks her son is getting sick and receiving poor care with you, she can leave. Otherwise, you do your job, stay professional, disregard rude comments and work on not being too sensitive to that. I am not friends with any of my daycare parents on FB and for good reason. I dont worry about what the parents think (or at least rarely) and dont drag on issues that have already been addressed. Dont let the stress of this job carry over into your evenings and weekends. I am not trying to be harsh, only to help you see that you did not do anything wrong and it is not your problem if the parent cant see that. You just cant go on long term with the constant worry that you have to get the parent to agree with you, understand you, see your side of things, etc. All I need from my DC parents is to follow the rules. If they chose to blame me for stuff with their friends, I dont care. If they are truly unhappy about it, we can talk but I am not going to worry about what they are saying, thinking, feeling, doing. As long as they keep their end of the agreements in our contract, thats good enough for me. She picked up her kid within an hour (thats my rule here), she took him to the doctor, shes keeping him home....you stuck by your rules by insisting on these things....expecting anything else is just adding unneeded stress to your life.You can't regulate their feelings or actions outside of your agreement so why even try? Now if she is being rude in person, blatantly disregarding rules and such, that is more than enough to send her on her way. Its important that a child and their parent fit into the program you have. I think a lot of us can agree that much of the time, it is the parent causing the issue and not the child.

[Kaddidle Care]

Facebook is evil. Terminate Facebook.

Just think about how you would feel if you didn't see that post.

While knowledge is power, ignorance is bliss.

And Facebook is evil. ::

[melskids]

I'm pretty point blank about illness.

I don't bother defending the "daycare" anymore, or how much I clean and sanitize. I know I do the right thing when it comes to cleaning and handwashing. Illness is always gonna happen no matter how dilligent you are.

I say something like... "Well, Maybe they DID get it here, maybe they didn't. When you place your child in a group setting, its gonna happen."

Then I smile, and say nothing more. The uncomfortable stare that follows usually gets my point across.

[Ariana]

She's a dink!! I would unsubscribe from her altogether on FB. It's just not worth the annoyance. Don't get ****ed into her crap. She's blaming you and nothing you say will change that. If you really don't like her then definately term her to save yourself some aggravation. I have a 6 week integration period where I can term at any time and it's 90% to see how the parents are!! I can deal with a lot of kids behaviors but parents can be annoying!!

[LittleCrawfishCC]

I don't have much to say about the FB thing, I would be mad too. But please be careful about the 5ths disease, He was contagious for probably a week before it broke to fever, now he will break out in a rash, and he should be contagious now :-( Its not fun, my daughter had rosielo and 5ths disease back to back!

[Nellie]

[QUOTE=cheerfuldom;175528]I really think that you should remove the FB page if you cannot refrain yourself from getting into a post war with a daycare mom. Even if you are right, posting back and forth is only going to make you look unprofessional and confrontational. If you dread seeing this woman and she is making you resent your job (and you can afford to lose the income), then yes, you are perfectly within your right to terminate. I don't know the whole story about this woman....but I do know that it is very important that you build up a tolerance to deal with this sort of behavior. You dont have to prove yourself to anyone. If she really thinks her son is getting sick and receiving poor care with you, she can leave. Otherwise, you do your job, stay professional, disregard rude comments and work on not being too sensitive to that. I am not friends with any of my daycare parents on FB and for good reason. I dont worry about what the parents think (or at least rarely) and dont drag on issues that have already been addressed. Dont let the stress of this job carry over into your evenings and weekends. I am not trying to be harsh, only to help you see that you did not do anything wrong and it is not your problem if the parent cant see that. You just cant go on long term with the constant worry that you have to get the parent to agree with you, understand you, see your side of things, etc. All I need from my DC parents is to follow the rules. If they chose to blame me for stuff with their friends, I dont care. If they are truly unhappy about it, we can talk but I am not going to worry about what they are saying, thinking, feeling, doing. As long as they keep their end of the agreements in our contract, thats good enough for me. She picked up her kid within an hour (thats my rule here), she took him to the doctor, shes keeping him home....you stuck by your rules by insisting on these things....expecting anything else is just adding unneeded stress to your life.You can't regulate their feelings or actions outside of your agreement so why even try? Now if she is being rude in person, blatantly disregarding rules and such, that is more than enough to send her on her way. Its important that a child and their parent fit into the program you have. I think a lot of us can agree that much of the time, it is the parent causing the issue and not the child.[/QUOT

Very good advise.

[Hunni Bee]

i really think that you should remove the fb page if you cannot refrain yourself from getting into a post war with a daycare mom. Even if you are right, posting back and forth is only going to make you look unprofessional and confrontational. If you dread seeing this woman and she is making you resent your job (and you can afford to lose the income), then yes, you are perfectly within your right to terminate. I don't know the whole story about this woman....but i do know that it is very important that you build up a tolerance to deal with this sort of behavior. You dont have to prove yourself to anyone. If she really thinks her son is getting sick and receiving poor care with you, she can leave. Otherwise, you do your job, stay professional, disregard rude comments and work on not being too sensitive to that. I am not friends with any of my daycare parents on fb and for good reason. I dont worry about what the parents think (or at least rarely) and dont drag on issues that have already been addressed. Dont let the stress of this job carry over into your evenings and weekends. I am not trying to be harsh, only to help you see that you did not do anything wrong and it is not your problem if the parent cant see that. You just cant go on long term with the constant worry that you have to get the parent to agree with you, understand you, see your side of things, etc. All i need from my dc parents is to follow the rules. If they chose to blame me for stuff with their friends, i dont care. If they are truly unhappy about it, we can talk but i am not going to worry about what they are saying, thinking, feeling, doing. As long as they keep their end of the agreements in our contract, thats good enough for me. She picked up her kid within an hour (thats my rule here), she took him to the doctor, shes keeping him home....you stuck by your rules by insisting on these things....expecting anything else is just adding unneeded stress to your life.you can't regulate their feelings or actions outside of your agreement so why even try? Now if she is being rude in person, blatantly disregarding rules and such, that is more than enough to send her on her way. Its important that a child and their parent fit into the program you have. I think a lot of us can agree that much of the time, it is the parent causing the issue and not the child.

yes. This.

[MamaBear]

You're all right. I shouldn't have had a "post war" with this mom on FB... but it just triggered my defense of my daycare. I was so mad that she was basically blaming my daycare for her sons illness when I know its not from here and she even agreed with me when we were speaking one-on-one that it was not from here. But then on FB she wasn't saying the same thing.

Today she sent me an email asking if she could bring anything for a party we are having here this week and was totally trying to kiss my butt in it. Maybe she realized that she was being a terd. I don't know. We'll see how she acts next week. She is on very fine line with me right now though... So she's going to have to be on her best behavior to last here with me! haha