Food Battles

[Meyou]

I decided 3 weeks ago after much thought to stop fighting food battles with my DCK's. I have a very hard time letting them leave the table if they haven't eaten and I HATE to throw food out but mealtime has been a struggle because of a couple of children for almost a year and what I was doing wasn't working. It was time for something new.

I set out the food, set a timer and let them go. I still make sure there is no fooling around or monkey business and they must still use manners or sit quietly but I DO NOT CARE IF THEY EAT. happyfacehappyfacehappyface

The first week was hard. My instincts were to try and get them to eat but I resisted and kept busy. It was HARD to dump the plates (I did eat a couple of untouched sandwiches ) It was also hard to listen to them complain about being hungry especially before afternoon snack but I stuck it out.

The second week I have dumped full plates with a smile on my face because I didn't feel stress even once where food is concerned. Most of them "got it" and the eating was better, the dumping less. My problem eater cried every meal because he didn't like the timer but he was crying every meal before that anyway so it didn't bother anyone.

This week they totally get it. Not only are they eating but they are eating quickly and enthusiastically. Not fighting this battle was the best decision I ever made.

My biggest problem eater...doesn't like anything, won't sit, fools around, cries at the tables etc etc etc is the only one having a little trouble and I think he just needs another week for the disbelief to wear off. I'm pretty sure he's never eaten a meal without being coaxed into every bite. He's almost 5. He was really, really hungry the past couple of weeks but he's figured out this week that it's eat or starve so he's eating and eating better than he ever has for me.

Just wanted to share. I had no idea how much meals stressed me out until I removed the stress. It's very liberating.

[Ariana]

This week they totally get it. Not only are they eating but they are eating quickly and enthusiastically. Not fighting this battle was the best decision I ever made.

happyfacehappyfacehappyfacehappyfacehappyface

I'm so happy you tried it!! So many people think if they stop fighting the kids will stop eating and starve to death

[Country Kids]

I am so happy for you-happyfacehappyface (love this lttle cheer gal)

My kids are eating really good since Thanksgiving and it makes me sooo happy.

I know what you mean about throwing the food away. If the food hasn't been touched, sneezed on, even acknowledge I will sometimes eat if for my lunch.

[Zoe]

I recently started doing this too. I used to make sure the kids were eating something of everything and stressed out if they didn't eat enough. Well I got myself into the mindset that it really doesn't matter if it ends up in their tummies or in the garbage. I learned what is an appropriate amount of food for each child and just give it to them. I don't even look at what they've eaten and what they haven't. My DS3 is the worst at not eating anything, but he doesn't complain about being hungry because he knows that he chose not to eat.

Made my day so much easier! I'm glad you're having the same success! happyface

[sharlan]

I find that mealtimes work so much better when you take the stress out of it. I choose not to fight food battles.

I'm happy that you were able to find a resolution.

[mismatchedsocks]

Glad its working for you!!! I gave up this battle a while ago, and makes it so much easier. Per the food program I have to have the right amount of food on hand for child, not necessarily put on their plate right away. I will start with small portions on their plate, but they can see the extra food on counter. This stops alot of waste of food here, and then I can still eat it without it being on their plates!

[DCMom]

I have a hard time with food waste also. I stopped pre-plating foods and instead I give them the plates at the table. Then I go around the table and serve as much or as little as they would like. The only rule is that they must try everything. Even if it is only 1 pea or kernel of corn.

It has taken the power struggle out of mealtimes and put the pleasure back in!

I'm glad you found a way to make your day easier

[Lianne]

Glad things are improving for you!

I did this same thing this summer and it helped. Like you, I hated throwing away the food but I kept telling myself that I'd be putting the same amount of money into the food whether I fought them to eat it or not. Each kid is alloted $2 for snack or $4 for lunch (random figures I assigned based on assumed averages) and it is up to them whether they eat their $2 or $4 worth of food or throw it away.

They're eating much better although occasionally the waste bothers me but I try to remind myself of the above.

[kendallina]

That's great...sometimes it really does work to just let it go and allow natural consequences occur. It's tough, though, congrats on sticking it through!!