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I just started doing home daycare 4 months ago and have a small group of kids- 1 full time and several part time with no more than 3 at a time. It's been going well with all but one child who unfortunately I am having to let go. He has biten me twice and has biten and scratched my 4 year old son. Luckily he has not hurt any of the daycare kids but I know it's just a matter of time. He is 5 and is mildly autistic, the parents were not forthcoming with his behaviors at the time I agreed to watch him. I am not able to leave him alone with other kids for fear he will hurt them. I've actually lost sleep over this decision but I know it is the right choice. I have learned A LOT through this experience and am now going to do a 1 or 2 week "trial" before locking into a contract to make sure it's a good fit for them and for me. I'm curious how others handle new clients and if you have a trial period. Any advice is welcome!
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One month for everything - trial period and notice required if they want to leave. I used to have 2 weeks, but changed it. Either party can terminate with 24 hours notice. Full payment is still due. Of course if I terminated I would refund them under the right circumstances. -
Sorry that you've had to make this tough decision, it really is a tough one to make!
I do a 2-week trial period, where either the parent or myself can term at any time and cancel the contract. I also make sure that I always meet the child and see them interact with myself, their parent(s) and my daughter in the playroom before they start. I also talk to the parent a lot about their child's behavior at home, at previous daycare, with other children, etc during the interview.
I do currently have one child who I knew had behavior difficulties before he enrolled. We did a 4-week trial period and it's been 7 months and he's still here. There are days that are really difficult, but he's made soo much progress and fortunately his difficulty doesn't come out in aggression with other children, so I really want to stick it out with him. Plus his parents are very responsive, which helps tremendously.
Not sure if any of that helped, but that's how I do it.
Good luck!
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I am curious why do you give up on a 5 year old boy who has autism? Did u know why he has problem behavior? If not, he has bitten you twice and bitten and scratched your son because of lack of communication. That is why! I would give him a chance to work with if you can.
My 10 years old daughter who has PDDNOS on Autism spectrum and she had bitten a lot from 3 1/2 years old to 6 years old. I worked so hard to teach her not do that. I am lucky my daycare parents are perfectly fine with it when it happened to my dc kids. My daycare kids feared on my daughter at first but they gave her some time and they love my daughter that they actually understand that she is special needs.
Did you realized there is one out of 114 who have autism?Comment
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I am the queen of "I have to stick it out and not give up on any child" to a fault. BUT, coming from an outsider here, she can't ONLY think of the one child. She HAS to think of the other kids in care. If she feels like she can't adequately meet the special needs he has, then she really should terminate. Especially since the parents were not forthcoming with the issues.Comment
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I can understand that she have rights to terminate but she have to be very careful! Look at me, I work daycare for 10 years and I have been watching 3-8 kids in the past included my two daughters and it turned out fine.
Maybe his parents are scared to tell her because it is very hard to find a daycare for him or not aware his new behavior. I had been through before too. I put my daughter in one daycare in the past but it doesn't work out because she doesn't want to work with me to work with her at all!! My old provider is very lucky because I was going to sue her for discrimination and I decided not to because she is not worth! I am not sure if she have told his parents about it or not. I would sit down to discuss with his parents to see if she can work something out.
If she were me, I would make a huge sign with a lot of pictures to help him to use what he needs or knows what he was not supposed to like "no bite." I am not sure if he is a full time or a part time. He should be in school due to his special needs.Comment
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Well don't you sound like daycare parent of the year?! The kind we are ALL looking for.
If a child is not working out for a provider and the children in her care, why should she be forced to keep that child? It is most certainly NOT discrimination if she should terminate a child that needs a higher level of care than she can accomodate. It's doing what she needs to do to keep her business running smoothly. You have to take in to consideration the needs of the many. Not the needs of one. If this child needs individualized care, then this family should hire a nanny that can provide that for them.
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She isn't giving up. She feels that this is not the right fit for this boy, herself, or the other children. he needs more attention than she can give him. He needs a place that can accommodate his needs and her daycare is not that place.
Your situation was different - you were the parent and the provider. You were up front with parents. They accepted it. These parents downplayed the issues and she cannot handle it. Please do not guilt people for doing what is right for them. This is our job, not our life. She knows her limits and she has struggled with this decision.Comment
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OP you are doing the right thing. The parents did the wrong thing by not being up front about his needs.
I understand that parents go thru a lot with a special needs child. Really, I do. My 30 something year old brother is mentally the age of a elementary aged school boy....so I get it. But it is not okay for parents to try and sneak their kid into a daycare that is not prepared to deal with a special needs child. He's 5, the parents for sure know of his situation and lied by omission. More than likely, hes been kicked out of numerous daycares. He needs a school or caregiver that is trained and prepared for the special needs scenario.
Its not okay to make a provider, especially a new one, feel guilty for letting a child go that is clearly not fitting in. Biting and scratching is a big deal. this isnt just a behavioral thing that can be corrected easily....it might be something that he will struggle with for a long time. If the provider sticks with the family, she has to be prepared to give him a lot more attention than normal and be prepared to lose another family when their kid gets bitten repeatedly (which is very likely to happen).Comment
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U dont get it! I remembered what exactly she said to me!!Well don't you sound like daycare parent of the year?! The kind we are ALL looking for. If a child is not working out for a provider and the children in her care, why should she be forced to keep that child? It is most certainly NOT discrimination if she should terminate a child that needs a higher level of care than she can accomodate. It's doing what she needs to do to keep her business running smoothly. You have to take in to consideration the needs of the many. Not the needs of one. If this child needs individualized care, then this family should hire a nanny that can provide that for them.
At first, we interviewed with her and I mentioned her that my daughter had behavior problems and she has PDDNOS and she is willing to work with me if we are the same pages. She told me that she have no problems since she have a small groups. She watched my two daughters and another infant, that is it. She only watch her 45 mins per day. My oldest daughter is very sweet but it is a lot of work to work with her to get right. Today, my daughter is awesome! I thank god that I work so hard with her without helping from anyone. I am learning on my own and it was successful. I also fight for my daughter since we filed three due process hearing against my daughter's old school and I won all of it. One federal suit is still going on. How do you explain to me??
A few months later, she told me, "I don't want to do nothing for ***** because of her autism!" That is discrimination. I was shocked what she told me. A few days later, I decided I quit my job that I only work there for 6 months and stay home with my girls and start up with my daycare again.
I gave her a one week notice and she accepted it. Her policy was supposed to be two weeks but she didn't complained because she knew I would get her what she told me. A few years later, she apologized to me and I let it go.
If you have a child with autism then you will understand what I was going through!!!Comment
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I get it, I really do but I get upset sometimes because I can understand how parents feel about this. It is so hard to find right daycare for those kids with autism for those days. I had been through before and my daughter was in one babysitter and one daycare. She had babysitter who loves my daughter very much and she is sad that she have to leave due to separate from her husband. It was unexpected that her husband told her that he wants separate. I have to find other daycare again and I was happy that she accept my daughter when I told her everything about her. I was wrong. What I have read a few providers from this forum that they really want terminate kids with autism who have behavior problems or any reason that hurt me but I didn't say anything about it. I can understand it is not right for them but I believe providers should told the parents in interview or before start that if provider feels it is not right to meet their program. That would be nice, it won't be wasting parents or providers time. I had another provider in interview that I mentioned her about my daughter and she seems ok with it. A few hours later, she called me that she admitted my daughter might not right program for her, I like that. At least, she was honest with me.
One problem, I don't know whole the story from OP that I need more details and I can help her if I can. Maybe the parents didn't know about new behaviors or something like that. All autism kids are different.Comment
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l think children with Autism and any Pervasive Developmental Disorder are best served in a centre where there are more resources available and more teachers available for help. I've worked with many children with PDD and it is tough. Not all people can handle it and when you're on your own you have no one to possibly help you should the situation get out of control. I think it's VERY responsible to say "I'm not equipped to handle this situation". It's not personal against the child,I think it's in the childs best interest actually because it's being realistic. Unless you are a parent who has access to support groups or who've taken courses/classes on children with PDD it's very stressful. If I had a child come to my daycare who had PDD I would definately welcome that child because I have experience and training in the area. Even with that however it would depend on the child and their individual needs. I would be doing the child a disservice if I took on someone that was too much for me to handle emotionally or physically. There were times when I had to get help to get a child dressed and they weighed 50 pounds at 4 years old. Or when this particular child became violent while I was pregnant. It was great that I could call a teacher in the next room for help.
safechner I wouldn't want my daughter to spend another second with a provider who couldn't deal emotionally or physically with my child.
As for the original question....I have a 6 week trial period where I can terminate with no notice. After the 6 weeks is up and I decide to continue care we revert back to the contractual termination time period. I use is mainly to see how the parents are. Sometimes it's not the kids behaviors I worry about
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OP here- I have a lot of sympathy for this child, his parents and others in a similar situation. What is upsetting is that the parents knew it wasn't going to work out but were desperate for care. The morning after I told them I was terminating, the mom said this was his 6th daycare this year!! I did do an initial meeting with them and their son was on good behavior. They let me know some of his behaviors but not that biting and scratching were a daily occurance. I have been lucky that the parents said ok when I asked to call his teachers. We have been in touch and the teacher told me they see the same behaviors at school that I am seeing here. But, she told me, they have 4 teachers and here it is only me. She stands behind me in terminating and has offered to send a teacher out to help with the transition and I accepted. I feel I gave him a fair trial and am going out of my way to help them find appropriate care.
In no way am I terminating because he is autistic, rather the aggression he shows towards me, the daycare kids, my own children and my pets is something I can't handle. Like I said earlier, I have lost sleep over this but it is too risky to keep watching him. The day before I terminated, he scratched a child on both cheeks and when I asked him to go to a time out he refused. I gently picked him up and guided him to the time out spot. He started whipping around with his mouth open trying to bite me. Once in the time out chair, he came after me again and again. Frankly, I was shocked and a little scared. Once he settled down and was done with his time out, I asked him to stay in the kitchen with me because I didn't trust him with the other kids. My dog happened to be there with us and while I wasn't looking, he started kicking her out of the blue. This is just a small sampling of what our days have been like. It's not just the 4 year olds he picks on either- I watch 2 part timers who are 1 and he makes me nervous around them. I really don't know why I would stick it out when clearly he needs more care and supervision than I can handle. I really hope they can find a spot for him- he is in preschool through the public school with specialists but unfortunately it is only half day.
Thank you for all the advice- I certainly will be instilling a trial period for any new child!Comment
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I just wanna say you are an awesome Mom speaking up for your special needs child like that. I know all to well the discrimantion special needs children face because they arent considered what is normal I am a Mother of one and a parent who is NOT a parent to a special needs child will NEVER understand.U dont get it! I remembered what exactly she said to me!! At first, we interviewed with her and I mentioned her that my daughter had behavior problems and she has PDDNOS and she is willing to work with me if we are the same pages. She told me that she have no problems since she have a small groups. She watched my two daughters and another infant, that is it. She only watch her 45 mins per day. My oldest daughter is very sweet but it is a lot of work to work with her to get right. Today, my daughter is awesome! I thank god that I work so hard with her without helping from anyone. I am learning on my own and it was successful. I also fight for my daughter since we filed three due process hearing against my daughter's old school and I won all of it. One federal suit is still going on. How do you explain to me??
A few months later, she told me, "I don't want to do nothing for ***** because of her autism!" That is discrimination. I was shocked what she told me. A few days later, I decided I quit my job that I only work there for 6 months and stay home with my girls and start up with my daycare again.
I gave her a one week notice and she accepted it. Her policy was supposed to be two weeks but she didn't complained because she knew I would get her what she told me. A few years later, she apologized to me and I let it go.
If you have a child with autism then you will understand what I was going through!!!Comment
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