New Child...

[mismatchedsocks]

I have a new 7 month old baby starting tomorrow ( Friday ). Well during interview I learned he is a breastfed baby who is fed breast milk from bottle not breast, which is great, he will know how to drink from a bottle.

Today I get email from mom ( first time mom ) with an attachment of an excel sheet of his "feeding times" and "napping times" as she labeled it.

He will be here 9am-5pm daily. Here is what she "wants"
9am bottle
10am cereal w fruit
11-1230 nap
1230 bottle
130 veggies
3-4 nap
4pm bottle
430pm veggie w cereal.

Now question, why not make the bottle/food a meal time, instead of feeding this poor baby 10 times a day!? ( breakfast and dinner at home are split up the same way!)

I emailed her that I am glad she is sharing his "schedule" with me, or what she would like but things may go differently here, as its group care, with more then just him.

Now we eat breakfast at 8-830,snack at 10, lunch at 1130-12 nap 12-230 and snack at 3-330.

Im thinking to get him incoorperated into "our" schedule, 930am feed him bottle, cereal and fruit then hold him off until nap time with the other kids at noon then feed him milk and veggies when he gets up for snack. then if he needs another nap give him one before mom gets here w bottle?

Otherwise he will never get into our schedule of napping/eating. And I refuse to have him up all nap time. Amazing she emailed her "wants" the day before.

What do you think? how can i put it nicely to mom about it being a group care?

[Solandia]

"Thanks for giving me her typical daily schedule when she is at home. This is helpful to me in order to meet her individual needs & wants. Babies adapt to the general flow of the day, and they tend to morph their schedules to be similar to the rest of the kids'. I will meet your babies needs and demands as they change as she gets used to my house and as she gets older"


In reality, That schedule is NOT going to work. At all. The 9am bottle needs to be am 8am bottle or a 10am bottle. Baby needs to be fed prior to coming to care, and baby likely will NOT eat immediately at drop off...she will be either distracted with kids playing & saying hi, or upset that mom left.

Naps need to be around 2hrs each, or baby is going to very, very crabby and tired at your house. Baby naptimes here are right after mornign 8am bottle (so 8:30-10:30, and 12:30-2:30. A third catnap at 4:30 or 5pm.).

What ususally happens at this age (7-11 months old) is that i do a bottle at breakfast & lunch, the solid foods and/or finger foods at snacktimes. Even if baby was on a strict schedule, they morph to mine regardless. It just happens. Happy baby = happy me. Mom wants to feel like she is in control (i get that), but it doesnt always work out that way.

[Ariana]

I would just say "thanks so much for the schedule" and then do what I normally do.

[mismatchedsocks]

Thanks @ Solandia. Im thinking it will take him a while to sleep longer, but morphing to mine is the plan. I don't want the parents to think I am not being understanding, but probably wont give them a detailed plan of exact hours of when he ate but like what you said about him morphing to our schedule.

He was in a daycare with one other kid 3 months. Now he gets bottle at home at 5am, then goes back to sleep up at 630am for bottle then 730am fruit and cereal. He is in the car from 8am ( has bottle) -9am ( mom drives baby to dad at work then dad drives baby to daycare) and he sleeps the whole time in car.

Seems this kid eats too many times, and sleeps too many small naps??

[mismatchedsocks]

I would just say "thanks so much for the schedule" and then do what I normally do.

Love that. I will do what works for us, and wont lie to mom but I can see her asking at pick up. I think a vague "he had fruit, veggies and 3 bottles today. The last time he ate was X time." ???

[Cat Herder]

IMHO, The "9am" bottle should be given prior to arrival meaning that you would then give "snack" (fruit and cereal) at the normal 10 am time. "Infants should arrive fed and dressed for their day."

I'd then follow the rest of the day as you normally would... Bottles at "meal times" since that is where the actual nutrition is (until 12 months). Infant foods at snack times since those are more about learning to eat and become accustomed to flavors.

Honestly, I'd just not have the conversation at all. She will already have your daily schedule and daily sheets anyway. All childcares run on a feeding schedule, especially those on the food program. You may be starting a battle she has not even thought of.

It is possible and likely she only typed all that up to show you what a great Mom she is and obtain your approval of her. She may be having some guilty self esteem stuff about putting her child in daycare that she is working on internally. I mention it because I was that Mom once upon a time.

I did not know the provider would think I was being demanding.... I wanted her to like me by showing her how "prepared" and "in tune with my baby" I was. ::

[mismatchedsocks]

Honestly, I'd just not have the conversation at all. She will already have your daily schedule and daily sheets anyway. All childcares run on a feeding schedule, especially those on the food program. You may be starting a battle she has not even thought of.

Great idea. I already told her I would do my best, but its a new environment. She has sent me 4 emails since then and I haven't responded to them yet. I know she is worried, but I am VERY positive that he will be fine.

[youretooloud]

I have very few requirements for my families, and I always tell them I will try to use that schedule. But, I can't promise.

BUT, they absolutely can NOT drop off a hungry child to me. Ever. Unless there is some weird random reason that happens rarely.

Baby must come to me with at least a little in his tummy so I can feed him when it works for me. (I do what's best for all the kids and myself)

I've always had parents who were more than happy to work with that. They always understand.

Hopefully that was just a rough draft of their day, and she doesn't expect it to be followed closely.

[mismatchedsocks]

Her last email was this....

"how do you do it throughout the day, I am tired with 3 hours with him at night, between all the feedings and introduction to daily baths, and baby yoga I am beat"

Haha, i am thinking all the feedings?? you are with the little guy 3 hours, it should be a dinner then nightly bottle. Baby will probably love the longer naps here.

[cheerfuldom]

a lot of moms type of a schedule based on what they wish their kid was doing and not what they actually are doing or are capable of. I do look over what the parents provide but generally, figure out my own schedule from day one.

[Lucy]

I would've emailed back saying my computer won't open an excel document. LOL

But seriously, I would probably just not even discuss it, and do my own thing anyway. After a couple days of care, I'd send HER a recap of what I do!