Explaining Potty Training Progress To A Parent?

[newtodaycare22]

2 year old has been 'trying to potty train' since before starting here, over the summer. (She just turned 2 in July). Parents put her in undies at home to let her feel her accidents but she has her ups and downs. Here, I require her to be in pull ups.

Today mom brought her in undies and asked if we could try because she had 4 'really good days' at home. Sure, I'll try it. We had poop and pee in the potty within an hour.

I can tell mom is disappointed because she puts her on the potty every 2 hours and hopes for the best. She is actually the one trained but the girl isn't ready. She's VERY smart for her age and I know it's hard to deal with diapers on a 2 year old who seems so advanced, but she's simply not ready.

Any advice on explaining this nicely to the mom? She's not pushy with me at all,in fact she's great, but I want to assure her that the time will come when dcg is ready. Thanks!

EDIT: Yes, sorry, I meant pee and pooped in her undies. I was hoping for the best as I typed haha

[MarinaVanessa]

She pooped and pee'd in the potty within an hour and the DCM is dissapointed? :confused:.
Do you mean she pooped and pee'd in her undies? . That would make more sense to me ::

[newtodaycare22]

yes sorry I corrected it

[nannyde]

Must be accident free for two consequtive weeks HERE at my house and be able to SAY the words "I have to go potty" BEFORE she has to go potty.

[newtodaycare22]

I understand that. That's my rule too but I wanted to let the mom see that it wasn't the pull ups that were 'causing' the accidents.

My question is-any advice on how to tell mom SHES NOT READY without yelling those words at her?

[daycare]

I understand that. That's my rule too but I wanted to let the mom see that it wasn't the pull ups that were 'causing' the accidents.

My question is-any advice on how to tell mom SHES NOT READY without yelling those words at her?

I don't understand why you just cant tell her that you will still work on it, but she needs pull ups or a diaper until free of accidents for 2 weeks. at your house.

daycare is not home. there are a ton of distractions at daycare that will distract any child from remembering to use the potty.

[Ariana]

I hate when parent think their kid is potty trained because they go in the potty whenever they take them...unfortunately if no one takes them every 1/2 hour they have accidents. I guess if it were me I'd explain this to the mom. I would tell her that you only bring children every hour and if she's still having accidents (ie: can't hold it) and is not telling you she needs to go then you feel it's just not working. Tell her that holding pee and poo is not a mental thing that the child must "learn" it comes with maturity of the bladder and the child has no control over when her bladder will be mature.

It's similar to when you bring a new puppy home. The pet store or dog books will tell you that puppies are unable to physically hold their pee/poo which is why they need to be taken out so often to pee/poo. Kids are no different. Now how can you explain that to the mom without making it sound like you're comparing her to a dog

Honestly though I find parents like this are very hard to explain things too because they always have some person somewhere who has a 12 month old that's potty trained and they're under pressure from others etc.

[Country Kids]

Here's my take on the whole potty training thing. 2 1/2 is probably a great age to start introducing the concept of going to the bathroom. Let her explore it, see the big kids going, even make a production out of it.

Why we always tell the parents that they have to be understand all this stuff before we will even consider starting to work with the child is beyond me. I know we are all busy but........who has the child most of the day.

Most of the children are maybe awake with their parents 2-3 hours a day. How confusing for a child to have to only potty at their house but not at childcare. I think this is why there is such a problem with children not going to the bathroom at the childcare. For quite awhile they may be going at home but not being allowed to at childcare because they might have an accident. Most children are at childcare 9+ hours and even if you are sitting them on the potty introducing the idea, it starts the child seeing that this is what its like at childcare. Nothing scary at all. I just do it when I would be changing the diaper, and its the same time we break for bathroom anyway.

If you want the child to tell you they have to go to the bathroom, how do you know if they really have to go unless you have been working with them? I have one that says they have to go, only when others say they do, but its a start of connecting those words with the bathroom.

[nannyde]

Here's my take on the whole potty training thing. 2 1/2 is probably a great age to start introducing the concept of going to the bathroom. Let her explore it, see the big kids going, even make a production out of it.

Why we always tell the parents that they have to be understand all this stuff before we will even consider starting to work with the child is beyond me. I know we are all busy but........who has the child most of the day.

Most of the children are maybe awake with their parents 2-3 hours a day. How confusing for a child to have to only potty at their house but not at childcare. I think this is why there is such a problem with children not going to the bathroom at the childcare. For quite awhile they may be going at home but not being allowed to at childcare because they might have an accident. Most children are at childcare 9+ hours and even if you are sitting them on the potty introducing the idea, it starts the child seeing that this is what its like at childcare. Nothing scary at all. I just do it when I would be changing the diaper, and its the same time we break for bathroom anyway.

If you want the child to tell you they have to go to the bathroom, how do you know if they really have to go unless you have been working with them? I have one that says they have to go, only when others say they do, but its a start of connecting those words with the bathroom.

My policy is JUST for the wearing undies part. Not for the sitting on the pot part. They don't have to say they have to go potty before they have to go to sit on the pot.

We start them sitting on the pot between changes when they are in their mid twoish

They are surrounded by kids who say the words "I have to go potty" before they have to go and then they see them go on the potty.

That's all it takes.

It's no biggie and there is no confusion between houses. I don't care what they do at home. I don't even ask about that really. We do it our way for when they are on our clock. We don't try to replicate what's happening at home. My kids are used to that from day one....

[bice99]

I have a 2 page potty training/potty learned handout. I get to decide everything since it's my house. They can do whatever they want at home. I cannot have a kid in undies who can barely make it to the potty and who needs help getting pants down. What if I'm in the middle of changing a baby or another kid is on the potty?

[Lucy]

I hate when parent think their kid is potty trained because they go in the potty whenever they take them...unfortunately if no one takes them every 1/2 hour they have accidents. I guess if it were me I'd explain this to the mom. I would tell her that you only bring children every hour and if she's still having accidents (ie: can't hold it) and is not telling you she needs to go then you feel it's just not working. Tell her that holding pee and poo is not a mental thing that the child must "learn" it comes with maturity of the bladder and the child has no control over when her bladder will be mature.

It's similar to when you bring a new puppy home. The pet store or dog books will tell you that puppies are unable to physically hold their pee/poo which is why they need to be taken out so often to pee/poo. Kids are no different. Now how can you explain that to the mom without making it sound like you're comparing her to a dog

Honestly though I find parents like this are very hard to explain things too because they always have some person somewhere who has a 12 month old that's potty trained and they're under pressure from others etc.

YES!!! I agree with all the above! I'm helping train a girl who isn't quite 2 yet. She's doing so-so. I require pullups here, so no messes to clean up. You're right --- sometimes it's the ADULT who is being trained and not the kid! The adult is being trained to take them every X minutes so they don't have an accident. Yes, the child pees in the toilet when you take them, but that doesn't mean they are "potty trained". If they can say "I need to go potty", and they go and pee in the toilet, and are accident free, THEN and ONLY THEN are they "potty trained". Here's the thread:

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=37454

[bice99]

I basically put them in pull ups when they start going consistently. If they are just peeing in the pull ups and then telling me they are wet, what's the diff between that and a diaper? The pull ups are great for when they start telling me they need to go and get there as well. If there is an accident or someone doesn't quite make it, no big deal, no mess. I will not use pull ups as diapers.