Personal Relationships w/DCP

[DaycareMom]

I currently care for 3 dcf. 1 is full time and the other 2 are part time.

The moms are always wanting to get together with all of our kids or inviting us to parties with them.

It's nice to be invited, but I am reluctant to begin a personal relationship with them for fear they will take advantage.

What do you all do in these situations?:confused:

[MyAngels]

Your instincts are right. Other than chit chatting occasionally at pick up or drop off, I never get personally involved with daycare families. So much less drama that way IMO.

[sharlan]

I've been personal friends with one of my families for over 21 years now. They come to dinner for most holidays, we vacation together as families, and the mom and I get together a couple of times a year for our time.

I keep in touch with another family that I haven't watched the kids in over 5 years.

I've never had a family attempt to take advantage because we're friends. Generally once I stop watching their kids, the friendships fade and we move on.

I enjoy having my parents along for outings and activities. It shows them how I handle things and it gives me a bit of insight into how they do things.

[DCMom]

I've been personal friends with one of my families for over 21 years now. They come to dinner for most holidays, we vacation together as families, and the mom and I get together a couple of times a year for our time.

I keep in touch with another family that I haven't watched the kids in over 5 years.

I've never had a family attempt to take advantage because we're friends. Generally once I stop watching their kids, the friendships fade and we move on.

I enjoy having my parents along for outings and activities. It shows them how I handle things and it gives me a bit of insight into how they do things.

Same here. That being said, there are one or two of my families that I would never have a personal relationship with! Oddly enough, those are the two families that are always trying to take advantage in one way or another.

I have one family who's girls I haven't had here in over 5 years, but three of the families that currently have were direct referrals from her. She's become my personal referral service!

We all do things differently, but I've never had a problem being friendly with the families I choose to be friendly with.

[sharlan]

Same here. That being said, there are one or two of my families that I would never have a personal relationship with! Oddly enough, those are the two families that are always trying to take advantage in one way or another.

I have one family who's girls I haven't had here in over 5 years, but three of the families that currently have were direct referrals from her. She's become my personal referral service!

We all do things differently, but I've never had a problem being friendly with the families I choose to be friendly with.

I haven't either. There are some I would never want to be personal friends with.

[daycare]

I for one have BTDT.

My motto..........business is business, pleasure is pleasure, DONT ever mix the two together.

BUT then, to each their own.

Me, personally, I would never do it again. I have waited until a child has aged out to become friends with some of my past DCC, but never while doing business

[Sugar Magnolia]

I'm with sharlan and dc. The clients we became 'friends' with have actually treated us the best and never once tried to take advantage. We have a close-knit family at our place, many families are co-friends or become friends after meeting at our school. Its almost got a co-op feel sometimes. One client cuts our families hair, one fixes my 'puter, one helps with administrative tasks like faxing and website, heck we have even dog-sat for our friends/clients. The only clients that have EVER tried to take advantage of our good nature are the ones that stayed distant and removed from the family/friendly spirit.

[Solandia]

I don't do friendships with clients that have kids the same age as mine. It gets too competitive or something. Or a bit judgemental or preachy on different parenting styles.

I have had more personal relationship with daycare families, with kids not my kids' ages.

[dEHmom]

One of my previous dcf's and my family are now great friends, but that was more towards the end of our "business" relationship as she left for mat leave. Our husbands are really good friends too now.

but in general, I wouldn't want to make friends with daycare families. I would rather keep that separate. But sometimes you just meet someone that you really like and get along with . I wouldn't disregard that.

[Sunchimes]

I have a mom that seems to want to be friends. She was my only dcm for several months, and she would pick up the baby and sit down and talk, sometimes for half an hour. That was fine, she's a nice girl and it was nice to talk to an adult. She still does it some. She's pregnant now and likes to talk about the baby. On Halloween, she brought the dcg's costume with her at pick up so that we could get her dressed and take pictures here. I'm not complaining about it, I just don't understand why. I have a granddaughter her age...in fact, I have a great-grandson 3 years older than her daughter. It's not a mother figure thing, she has a perfectly good mother and MIL.

As I said, it's no problem, but I find it curious.

[LittleD]

If you feel comfortable with the families in question, an occasional outing or two may be ok. But keep in mind, if the children are difficult (especially for mom and dad) it may to be too stressful to go on outings all together! You always feel like you should be making the child behave like they do at your daycare. Or feel the need to say "well at my house when they do this, I do this..." which may me resented (or appreciated, depending on the parent)

[Ariana]

I have a relationship with one of my DCF and it's no problem. I'm still very strict when it comes to my business. I can't help but have a relationship because she's my neighbour and I knew her before I started my business and our kids are friends and I want them to continue to be friends. I know a lot of people on here say "don't get involved with neighbours" but I haven't had a problem. Having said that my relationship is not really "friends" per se. I'm not her biggest fan!! But it's 'neighbourly' and we get invited to their home during the holidays or birthdays. She currently is having issues with her husband but I'm not getting involved and just smile and nod when she tells me about it. I try to keep it as professional as humanly possible!

I do find that the kids will often ask me if they can do things when we're all together. It's pretty funny since the mom is right there...but she has no backbone with them so I think they look to me as being the authority figure.

[wdmmom]

Been there, Done that and never again!!!

My relationship with my daycare parents is now kept on a "Need to Know" basis.

[kendallina]

Several of my current parents were friends of mine before their children started here. So, obviously I don't have a problem working with children's friends.

As for starting up a friendship with a daycare parent, no thanks. I have enough friends and just really don't have the time for more.... I like a lot of ALONE time, and don't need a big social network. When parents ask me to parties or events, I just tell them I can't or that I'm busy.

I think you need to do what you're comfortable with.