5 Month Old Baby is Challenging

[MN Mom]

Greetings!

I am a SAHM of 4 children ages 4 - 11. I am currently watching a family of 3 children (boys) for a co-worker of my husband. I do this very cheaply, as I am not...nor ever thought about doing a licensed day-care. I'm doing this as a neighborly service, more or less.

The boys are dropped off on M, Tues, Thurs, Fridays at 6:30am. The oldest, 8, gets on the bus at 7:05 and the 5 year old plays with my son until his pre-K van picks him up at 11:45.
I have the 5mo baby, whom I've had since he was 4 weeks old, all day.

Baby has been extremely challenging. He has cried more often than not. At first, I attributed it to his not-so-easy and abrupt transition from breast milk to formula. This caused major acid reflux and explosive poops..and some very messy diaper changes / outfit changes. (To this day, I don't think the fella has gone without soiling his clothes at least once.) Now that he's 5 months, I think he is just spoiled. I refuse to constantly hold him. I love to cuddle and play with babies, but he is super particular about how you hold him...where you hold him etc. There will be times I pick him up and he screams until I walk with him around the house. The moment I stop..SCREAM, arched back, cry until purple in the face. I'll put him on the floor, and he's fine for a min or two with some toys...but then SCREAM. He rolls (has been for about 4 weeks) but once he rolls onto tummy, SCREAM until you roll him back. However, he promptly rolls back to his tummy again and starts fussing. He hates his pack and play even more. I'll put him down for a nap, and he will cry and cry. I once let him "cry it out" for and hour or so before I finally picked him up as I had a headache from all the crying. He still cried when held. I put him down before I got angry and left the room.

I am at my whits end. SOME days he's really quiet (aka those sleepy days when he's going thru a growth spurt). If he's awake, he's screaming. I've asked the older boys about how mommy and daddy do it (the boys complain that I don't pick him up immediately when he whimpers) and they say mommy and daddy hold him all day.....UGH! I LOVE playing with and snuggling babies...but I guess I was lucky with all 4 of mine. We had our cuddle / play time BUT they also loved playing quietly with their various toys, taking walks in the stroller etc.(This one has had a blanket covering him at all times since he was born, took him outside last Fri as it was super nice, he screamed the min the air hit his face.) I could put my babies on the floor, or in a baby seat to watch me do dishes, cook etc and they were happy to just be included. I cannot get a THING done while this baby is here. You should see the laundry monster in my basement.....

I love this family, however. They are very good to me. They appreciate what I do for them, and it shows every day! The boys are sweet (even baby has those awwwww moments). I just don't know how much more crying I can take! I have my FT college work, my son, my girls before and after school and all the other chores that go with a family of 6. I feel bad letting him cry so much, but if I have to hold him the entire time he's here that cannot possibly be good for him either.

[momofsix]

I would first find out if he's this fussy at home--it could be the formula, and they could talk to the Dr. and switch to another kind and see if it helps.
If that is not it and he's just spoiled then he's going to have to get used to the fact that you're not able to hold him all the time. I would also let mom/dad know that their holding him at home all the time is making it harder for him when he's at your house. They need to help him learn to entertain himself too. If he's well fed, burped, dry and well rested then he should be able to learn to play on his own for a little while. If he really screams when it is "playtime" then I would put him back to bed.
Listening to a screaming baby is NO fun, hope it gets better for you!

[momma2girls]

Sounds like he is somewhat colicky? Maybe mixing with some seperation anxiety and spoiledness. I would definately ask about his formula- He might be having gas pains, doesn't seem like constipation is his problem at all.
I hope this does get better for you!! I have had babies like this- if it doesn't help, you need to make a decision what is good for everyone- you, him , the other children, etc. I have had to let some of them go after theri trials were over. It does ****, but it's totally not worth it!!! I am sure it is wearing on you very thin!!!!

[tymaboy]

What formula is he on? I had one that had reflux, once he was switched to AR Lipil he was fine at my house. At home he was not & that was cuz of their water. After they switched to bottled water then he was fine at home too.

I had another that parents held & slept with her all the time. She cried for hours! So loud that my neighbors could hear her. It was nothing I could really do except for let her cry. She would get frusterated cuz she was not mobile & could not do what she wanted. I found that when it was nap time she preferred to be swaddled. After she became mobile she hardly ever cried unless she was tired.

I have one that is almost 7 months now. She is one that likes to be held also but according to parents they try not to cuz they know I can not hold her all the time here & well they have things that they like to get done at home as well. I have different play stations for her that I would try all of them before laying her in bed & letting her go till she stopped. Sometimes she cryed for 5 min. others it was closer to 2 hours. I always went in to check on her to make sure she was fine. She now can sit up on her own which makes it easier. She will sit for over an hour playing with toys cuz she is tired of always laying on the floor & hates it on her belly as well.

Do you have a room at the other end of house that you can place baby in & shut the door while he is crying? Then just go in once in awhile to check on him. Depending on what time of day it is you could give him a biter biscuit as a snack while you are trying to get things done in the kitchen. I am assuming you have him on a schedule if not I would highly recommend it as it will help both your days go by smoother.

[MN Mom]

Re: 5month old baby

He is on Similac Advance mixed with nursery bottled water and has been since 4 weeks. Mom is still breast feeding at night time.

I have him on somewhat of a schedule here for feedings. I say somewhat, because there will be mornings when the mom said she fed him en route and hands me a bottle with 2oz in it (leftovers). I ask how much he ate..and she replied 2 oz. That is after 8 hours of sleeping!!

I feed him 6 oz every 4 hours with some baby cereal or fruits. We haven't tried veggies yet. By Friday his poops are better, but on Monday when they drop him off -- watery again. I think her diet is affecting things. Her English isn't great, but I try to communicate with her about feedings etc. She couldn't believe he takes 6oz for me (5 mo 16 lb baby) nor that he went longer than an hour or so between feedings... They pick him up at 4:30-5:00pm and I try to do 8am, 12pm, 4pm feedings (its usually within 15 min on average, and I do not budge unless he's sick, and then I let him feed when he needs / wants). He's definitely not as gassy as he was 2 months ago. He spits up less, and farts less. His poops are good by Friday. He just cries for no darned reason in my opinion. As for putting him in the other end of the house....well that can be a problem. My husband works nights, and is sleeping during the day, so I do not want to disturb him with a screaming baby! The boys will play in the living room next to the bedrooms quietly (Yes, 2 boys 5 and 4 and they can be....QUIET!! =) and I have the baby in our family/computer room area until hubby wakes up.

I just keep telling myself that he will outgrow this, take a deep breath and try to push forward with the day. I do, however, think I'm gonna Google a good set of ear plugs!!

[tymaboy]

From what I gather I think his runny diapers are from mom breast feeding. He is being fed breast milk alot more on the weekends then during the week so that would do it. I would feed him cerial & fruit at the same time every morning, this will help to get him on a regular schedule in your care. Granted at home they will do their own thing but he will know what to expect at your house. The more cerial & fruits or vegies you feed him in a sitting the longer he will go before wanting to eat again. Mine eats at 8- 8:30am has a 4 oz bottle (sometimes more) mid afternoon then eats cerial & fruit or vegie again at 11-11:30 then will not have a bottle till after nap around 4. The solid foods also help with the runny diapers.

I also find that it all depends on the bottle nipples that are being used as to how well a baby takes the bottle.

[momma2girls]

He is on Similac Advance mixed with nursery bottled water and has been since 4 weeks. Mom is still breast feeding at night time.

I have him on somewhat of a schedule here for feedings. I say somewhat, because there will be mornings when the mom said she fed him en route and hands me a bottle with 2oz in it (leftovers). I ask how much he ate..and she replied 2 oz. That is after 8 hours of sleeping!!

I feed him 6 oz every 4 hours with some baby cereal or fruits. We haven't tried veggies yet. By Friday his poops are better, but on Monday when they drop him off -- watery again. I think her diet is affecting things. Her English isn't great, but I try to communicate with her about feedings etc. She couldn't believe he takes 6oz for me (5 mo 16 lb baby) nor that he went longer than an hour or so between feedings... They pick him up at 4:30-5:00pm and I try to do 8am, 12pm, 4pm feedings (its usually within 15 min on average, and I do not budge unless he's sick, and then I let him feed when he needs / wants). He's definitely not as gassy as he was 2 months ago. He spits up less, and farts less. His poops are good by Friday. He just cries for no darned reason in my opinion. As for putting him in the other end of the house....well that can be a problem. My husband works nights, and is sleeping during the day, so I do not want to disturb him with a screaming baby! The boys will play in the living room next to the bedrooms quietly (Yes, 2 boys 5 and 4 and they can be....QUIET!! =) and I have the baby in our family/computer room area until hubby wakes up.

I just keep telling myself that he will outgrow this, take a deep breath and try to push forward with the day. I do, however, think I'm gonna Google a good set of ear plugs!!

THis is very difficult and hard for you to deal with. Plus the other children having to listen to this day after day. I do feel for you!! I hope it does get easier for you, but most of my experience it doesn't. I hate to tell you that!!

[VanessaEO]

This is my opinion, and its meant with kindness.

Its quite normal for a 5 month old baby to need to eat every two hours, and babies should be encouraged to follow their own cues.

He's crying because he's hungry. At home, mom's probably feeding him on demand. I think you'll find that feeding him 3-4 oz every 2 hours, will make him a MUCH HAPPIER baby.

[playground1]

This is my opinion, and its meant with kindness.

Its quite normal for a 5 month old baby to need to eat every two hours, and babies should be encouraged to follow their own cues.

He's crying because he's hungry. At home, mom's probably feeding him on demand. I think you'll find that feeding him 3-4 oz every 2 hours, will make him a MUCH HAPPIER baby.

I completely agree.