Is This Normal For a 4 Year Old?

[Liliya]

I do not know what to do with him anymore,
He is crying on the floor for 10 minutes now, yes I put him in time out, because he was screaming at everyone, screaming loud, making kids cry. Then while he was crying in time-out he noticed holes on his socks, he starts saying that I did it and cries even more, not crying, but screaming. I took his socks off, now he is screaming that he is cold. I gave him his socks back, he keeps telling me that he needs to tell me something. I tell him that he needs to stop crying first, he would not stop.
He gets upset for every little reason. Like one day we had bananas for lunch and someone wanted more, he freaks out, starts crying saying that they are going to eat all the bananas.
He will cry if I do not put his plate away right at the minute that he says that he is done. I tell him just leave your plate on the table and drink your milk, No, he freaks out, telling me that he does not want to look at his plate .Also, very often he will get mad at toys, getting very upset if something does not go right. Is this normal for a 4 year-old?

[TGT09]

I would go as far to think he is either a control freak and his parents allow it. OR, he might even be a little OCD. I wouldn't know what to do either so I feel for you!

[DBug]

Is he getting enough sleep? He may still need a good long afternoon nap, in spite of his age. If he is getting enough sleep, he sounds like he may rule the roost at home. Have you told his parents about this behaviour? If so, what was their reaction?

[momma2girls]

I had a 3 1/2 yr. old that would do this, cry and throw a fit over nothing, or just sitting there. No time outs, nothing would work for her!! I finally said to her, if you don't quit acting like this, you will lay down with the younger ones here that take an am nap every am. I told her it was coming to this- I did it 2 days that is all it took for her to shape up!!!!
Her old daycare provider had her do this alot to her as well- she would take away an activity, outside, and even eventually took a snack away from her. I told the previous daycare provider well I will never take a snack away from the daycare child, but she said it worked!!
It sounds like the child is very tired!!!

[Liliya]

Is he getting enough sleep? He may still need a good long afternoon nap, in spite of his age. If he is getting enough sleep, he sounds like he may rule the roost at home. Have you told his parents about this behaviour? If so, what was their reaction?

He is here at 8, usually takes 2-2, 5 hours nap here, mom tells me that he goes to bed after 10. Dad travels a lot, mom knows about his behavior,he was like that since he was a toddler, few weeks ago a told her that it is getting hard on everyone here and that some times I am thinking about termination.
It is harder because he is a big boy, he just fights with me when I try to discipline him.
She said that she will talk to him and remind him to behave.
Then after few days she said that she did research on internet and was thinking about evaluating him.
Also when we were talking, she told me some thing that he did at home.
But lately, like after weekends or if I ask how was he at home, she tells me Oh, he was very good! nothing else. I feel like she does not want to tell me if he was not good, because he could not change overnight. I just think that she tries to please him,so he would not get upset. I see it at pick up and drop off,she is very careful with him,like almost begs him to go home or something.
I keep telling to myself that I will try to keep him for another year and if he does not change, then maybe school can recommend something.
Even though, I do not think that it is right decision.

[Liliya]

I had a 3 1/2 yr. old that would do this, cry and throw a fit over nothing, or just sitting there. No time outs, nothing would work for her!! I finally said to her, if you don't quit acting like this, you will lay down with the younger ones here that take an am nap every am. I told her it was coming to this- I did it 2 days that is all it took for her to shape up!!!!
Her old daycare provider had her do this alot to her as well- she would take away an activity, outside, and even eventually took a snack away from her. I told the previous daycare provider well I will never take a snack away from the daycare child, but she said it worked!!
It sounds like the child is very tired!!!

I do not think that he is tired,he can not be tired everyday. Right?
I think I tried everything,if I take something away in order to discipline,he really freaks out,he will jump up and down screaming I want it,this is mine.
He will hit that closet where I put that toy or something,I take him away, he runs back,if I saw that he just grab a toy from another child I ask him to give it back,no "I want it" I take it away,he keeps grabbing it, so I have to hold him and move him to different room where he can cry for 10-20 minutes.

[momma2girls]

THis little girl did this practically every single day. She had preschool 3 days per week during naptime, so she didn't get a nap 3 days a week. Plus the weekend she didn't get one as well. The parents told me this after a month of doing daycare for her. I said"oh, that is why she is really extremely tired here on Mon. am's every week. I couldn't believe it!!

[Liliya]

I would go as far to think he is either a control freak and his parents allow it. OR, he might even be a little OCD. I wouldn't know what to do either so I feel for you!

He is a control freak, because he will get upset even when some one else doing something that they not supposed to be doing or somebody will get some one else's toy or something,he will cry about that. :confused:

[momma2girls]

I tried everything I could think of with this little girl as well- I took away a special activity, an outside act, etc. she just sat there and cried worse and screamed!! It was very very frustrating!!

[Childminder]

Had one like that too. He was OCD, Bi-polar AND ODD. Good luck it'll wear you out!

[kitkat]

I agree with the previous posts about him sounding tired. Ask mom what time he wakes up in the morning. Say he falls asleep at 10:15 and wakes up at 6:15, then add a 2 hour nap, he's only getting 10 hours of sleep. He should be getting 10-13 hours of sleep total per day.

I also think it's behavioral. Be firm with him about what is allowed (no fits). Don't talk to him while he's throwing one either. DCG is 4 and is finally retiring her crown as the Queen of Fits :: If he's on a time out, no one should be talking to him. I know it's so easy to get drawn into answering them, but try to ignore him/don't answer him while he's throwing a fit. Have you tried a behavior reward program with him? You mentioned some issues at meals, do you remove him from the table when he explodes?

What was mom thinking of having him tested for?