When Everything Goes Wrong.....

[Unregistered]

I have logged out..

I have taken on a new child and this will be his 3rd week. She is 3years old and is here 1/2 days 4 days a week. I knew going into this that it was going to be more difficult than the rest of the children in my care, but it is something that i can deal with.

Well today the child was not able to listen at all. I had to have her sit and play away from the other kids due to the fact that she was not listening to their words when they would ask her to stop causing complete chaos. Kids that have never hit anyone in the 3.5 years that they have been , hit her today.

the last time that I had to separate her from the group, she went into complete melt down and was kicking, screaming, throwing her body all over the place. NOrmally I just put them in a safe place and walk away, give them time to cool off, collect themselves and come back.

But this child was so out of control that there was no safe place to put her other than in a pack and play.

I have never in my life put a child of this age in a pack and play, but felt it was the safest thing to do... However, I am feeling horrible about this decision. I will tell the parents and I am worried what they will think and say about it..

Am I wrong for doing this? As I parent I don't think I would be happy to hear that someone put my child in a pack and play at age 3. But I was at a loss on how to keep everyone safe..

Please adivse.

[sharlan]

Take a deep breath and relax. We all have bad days now and then.

I think by placing the child in the pack n play, you were not only protecting the other children, but her as well.

IMHO, it's harder and takes a lot longer for a part-time child to acclimate.

[Cat Herder]

she went into complete melt down and was kicking, screaming, throwing her body all over the place. Please adivse.

I would have put her in one, too. It was to keep her from injuring herself or others.

I would approach it from the standpoint that she needs to not REQUIRE you to do that again. That is not acceptable behavior.

The Parents being mad I did that would not be my concern, YKWIM?

[mommiesherie]

Don't feel bad. I would have done same. Nothing wrong with that at all. You were protecting her and the other children there as well. My goodness what is up with children with such bad behavior these days. Oh I know parents that don't teach them anything!!! I agree the parents being mad wouldn't worry me. Most parents that have children like that do have some sort of attitude when you tell them how their child behaved in my experience anyways.

[Country Kids]

I do it all the time! In fact the parents are the ones that brought it and said please put the child in there until they can listen, behave, and calm down! This child is 3.5 and I figure if licensing has any problem with this I will call a meeting with them and the parents.

[Unregistered]

Thanks ladies for responding...

I really do feel better about it. I think I am feeling defeated because I thought that I could handle this no problem.

The parents are actually really nice and sweet. I know that they won't be happy to hear that I had to do this, but they are always coming to me for advice about how to deal with things at home. They are very open, but I was just wondering if the PNP was the right thing to do.

Glad to know that I am not alone in doing this. This child looked like the devil took over their body...

Now to decide if I CAN really deal with this.... The thing is, is that she has such off and on days.... today was obviously an off day....

[nannyde]

I think you are lucky she didn't climb right out of the pnp. I wouldn't consider that a safe place for her for too many more situations because she will most likely figure out within a few trips that all she has to do is leg lift and she can get out and start rageing again.

I definitely think you did the right thing... but PLEASE get a plan in place for the next explosion.

[Cat Herder]

... but PLEASE get a plan in place for the next explosion.

I agree. THIS is what todays discussion should be about.

A discipline plan.

I added a couple tags to old threads that talk about them.

[Unregistered]

what kind of plan would you impose on this type of situation?

I have never had to make a plan for such a child.....

Is it just me or is everyone starting to see even more out of control children these days???

[nannyde]

what kind of plan would you impose on this type of situation?

I have never had to make a plan for such a child.....

Is it just me or is everyone starting to see even more out of control children these days???

It aint you sistah

If you are going to do child care you are going to have to plan for rage in babies, toddlers, and preschoolers and violence in toddlers and preschoolers.

[Cat Herder]

what kind of plan would you impose on this type of situation?

I have never had to make a plan for such a child.....

Is it just me or is everyone starting to see even more out of control children these days???

It typically is a plan you and the parents come up with, together. (within reason)

My last one included removing child from the playroom entirely when a tantrum began and the parent picking up when a set time limit was met.

They followed up at home on their end.

[hoopinglady]

It aint you sistah

If you are going to do child care you are going to have to plan for rage in babies, toddlers, and preschoolers and violence in toddlers and preschoolers.

Have you talked about this phenomenon, Nannyde...in terms of frequency and possible causes? I have a not quite two year old who was exhibiting rage (he's ok now) but it was very very disturbing to me at the time to see in such a young one.

With this little guy I actually dubbed myself the baby whisperer (this was before I came here, ) because I would just do things like approach him and stand next to him or touch him in such a way that I was waiting for/encouraging his energy to change it totally reminded me of the dog whisperer. I just tried to get through to him, be strong and in control but not battle him or feed into it...allow him to feel safe.

[Unregistered]

It typically is a plan you and the parents come up with, together. (within reason)

My last one included removing child from the playroom entirely when a tantrum began and the parent picking up when a set time limit was met.

They followed up at home on their end.

I thought about the call home time limit thing, but then thought to myself that will only show her that if she behaves so badly that she will eventually get that call home.

She will be rewarded with mommy or daddy picking her up??

Am I wrong on this?

[nannyde]

Have you talked about this phenomenon, Nannyde...in terms of frequency and possible causes? I have a not quite two year old who was exhibiting rage (he's ok now) but it was very very disturbing to me at the time to see in such a young one.

With this little guy I actually dubbed myself the baby whisperer (this was before I came here, ) because I would just do things like approach him and stand next to him or touch him in such a way that I was waiting for/encouraging his energy to change it totally reminded me of the dog whisperer. I just tried to get through to him, be strong and in control but not battle him or feed into it...allow him to feel safe.

You ARE the baby whisperer.

I can't tell you how much I dig this post.

would just do things like approach him and stand next to him or touch him in such a way that I was waiting for/encouraging his energy to change it totally reminded me of the dog whisperer. I just tried to get through to him, be strong and in control but not battle him or feed into it...allow him to feel safe.

Read this thread:

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=31084&highlight=storm

[Cat Herder]

I thought about the call home time limit thing, but then thought to myself that will only show her that if she behaves so badly that she will eventually get that call home.

She will be rewarded with mommy or daddy picking her up??

Am I wrong on this?

Not from my perspective.

I was not hired to raise their child, I never offered those services. I provide a safe, nurturing environment, in my home, for their child while they are at work.

If a child is exhibiting violent behaviors and disrupting every other child in care, then they can't stay.

It prevents me from HAVING the safe, nurturing environment that all the other parents pay me to offer to their children.

I hand it back over to the parent to discipline their child. It rarely takes more than a couple times, ever.

Honestly, in all my years, only one child has made me do it multiple times.