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  • nannyde
    All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
    • Mar 2010
    • 7320

    Originally posted by Crystal
    Bwahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Ah, thanks for letting me get that out.

    Excuse me? Don't tell me "then don't"....I didn't. I did not debate nan about her methods or beliefs. I don't think I even responded to her after that post.....I'd have to go back and check to be sure though....and I don't have time for that right now.

    Just because YOU think Nan is right doesn't mean she is. YOU are just another faceless, nameless person in a whole world of an internet society, so YOUR opinion is worthless to me.

    Don't tell me that it's providers like me that "encourage this behavior" You don't know me from a hill of beans. I don't encourage this type of behavior, in fact I said I DON'T tolerate it. Just because I look at things from more than just my own perspective, and most certainly consider it from the CHILD'S perspective, doesn't mean I enocurage or condone this type of behavior.

    Oh, and trust me, I have FAR more common sense than you would even recognize.

    I agree that it is the providers right to term. My only irritation with the whole thing is that a young child came into her first day of care and sent to lay down. Had she been given a chance to mellow, the provider may very likely have found that she loved the kid.....she never had a chance to find out.

    And, NO, this provider DID NOT behave professionally....she called three people within minutes of a the child arriving, SHAKING BECAUSE SHE WAS SO UPSET, because SHE could not control a three year old child. THAT is the LEAST professional thing I have heard in a VERY long time.
    Why did the provider have to be professional? Who was she supposed to call? Her priest?

    She had every right to talk in any way she felt to the parents and the back up number. She WAS upset. She was shaking. Why should she temper that in ANY way?

    The way she managed this resulted in that kid being picked up in 35 minutes. That was EXCELLENT. The end result...of the kid being picked up immediately and the Mom seeing how upset she was was PERFECT.

    We are flesh and bone. We are on the front line of this generation of out of control kids and entitled parents. We SHOULD show them EXACTLY how we feel. We have no more obligation to temper that then we do to tolerate that.

    And a quick mention to the fact that the Mom did NOT pay a single penny for this 45 minutes. She had NO indication she would ever get paid. She brought the kid in and slammed the provider with the new info that there were problems with her funding.

    She got a free 45 minutes and a great life lesson. She didn't like it but that's tough. Nothing happened to the kid. The kid got by with having ZERO consequences for what she did. The Mom got by without an apology and felt so entitled to her "respect" that she turned the provider in to the DHS and publicly tried to shame her.

    The kid treated the provider like crap. The Mom was worse. Neither of them deserved ANYTHING but the TRUTH. The kid needed to see how devestated and upset the provider was and the Mom needed to get her kid kicked out of care immediately.

    The providers ONLY responsibility was to get that kid into the Moms custody as soon as she could manage and keep the kid and the other kids safe until that could happen. The Mom said a lot of things about the provider but she didn't say a word that the child was harmed in any way. The kid was in such good spirits that even after she was told to lie down and smacked the provider that she felt comfortable not minding on the step while waiting for the Mom. The kid was in such great spirits when she left that even when having immediate access to her MOMMY she bolted off down the sidewalk and didn't want to get in the car. If she was traumatized she would have clung to her Mother and bolted for the car. She wouldn't have bolted off and kicked and screamed when she was put in the car seat.

    The provider didn't have any obligation to any of them to do anything other than what she did. She didn't have to pretend it didn't happen or have a therapy session with the kid afterwards. She didn't have to "make nice" with the parents who didn't answer their phones... or the back up number person. She had every right in the world to be completely honest and react to what had happened truthfully with all of the adults.

    The ONLY thing this provider did wrong was allow this parent in without money, allowed her to start short notice, and have the kid lay down shortly after she arrived. The truth is that whether or not the kid was there at eight a.m. or noon... there is an extremely extremely extremely high liklihood that she would have done the same thing IF she made it till nap without receiving a no from the provider. With the way she behaved with the Mom afterwards... it's a pretty good indication that the slap to the providers face would have come closer to 8 a.m. then noon if she would have come in the morning. Laying down may have been what set her off at that time of day but a kid that feels comfortable slapping a stranger adult would have done the same thing earlier if things weren't going her way.

    Having this happen at nap was most likely a blessing to the other children and the provider. At least she had the TIME to get the parents there right away without the poor other kids having to witness any more of it then they already did.
    http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...=doing+daycare

    Comment

    • Crystal
      Advanced Daycare.com Member
      • Dec 2009
      • 4002

      oh please. i am supposed to play nice with someone that comes here and behind the "unregistered" name insults me? i think not.

      i'm not sure how i have taken anything too far. i stayed out of this thread after it went to far by others (whoever "they" may be) until i was chastised by some "nameless, faceless person" i'm certainly not going to sit back and allow some "nameless, faceless person whose opinion is worthless to me" insult and chastise me without defending myself.

      unregistered might gain some respect if she'd own all of her posts with a name. I respect that Michael allows unregistered posting, but that doesn't mean i have to respect her.

      Comment

      • daycare
        Advanced Daycare.com *********
        • Feb 2011
        • 16259

        Originally posted by nannyde
        Why did the provider have to be professional? Who was she supposed to call? Her priest?

        She had every right to talk in any way she felt to the parents and the back up number. She WAS upset. She was shaking. Why should she temper that in ANY way?

        The way she managed this resulted in that kid being picked up in 35 minutes. That was EXCELLENT. The end result...of the kid being picked up immediately and the Mom seeing how upset she was was PERFECT.

        We are flesh and bone. We are on the front line of this generation of out of control kids and entitled parents. We SHOULD show them EXACTLY how we feel. We have no more obligation to temper that then we do to tolerate that.

        And a quick mention to the fact that the Mom did NOT pay a single penny for this 45 minutes. She had NO indication she would ever get paid. She brought the kid in and slammed the provider with the new info that there were problems with her funding.

        She got a free 45 minutes and a great life lesson. She didn't like it but that's tough. Nothing happened to the kid. The kid got by with having ZERO consequences for what she did. The Mom got by without an apology and felt so entitled to her "respect" that she turned the provider in to the DHS and publicly tried to shame her.

        The kid treated the provider like crap. The Mom was worse. Neither of them deserved ANYTHING but the TRUTH. The kid needed to see how devestated and upset the provider was and the Mom needed to get her kid kicked out of care immediately.

        The providers ONLY responsibility was to get that kid into the Moms custody as soon as she could manage and keep the kid and the other kids safe until that could happen. The Mom said a lot of things about the provider but she didn't say a word that the child was harmed in any way. The kid was in such good spirits that even after she was told to lie down and smacked the provider that she felt comfortable not minding on the step while waiting for the Mom. The kid was in such great spirits when she left that even when having immediate access to her MOMMY she bolted off down the sidewalk and didn't want to get in the car. If she was traumatized she would have clung to her Mother and bolted for the car. She wouldn't have bolted off and kicked and screamed when she was put in the car seat.

        The provider didn't have any obligation to any of them to do anything other than what she did. She didn't have to pretend it didn't happen or have a therapy session with the kid afterwards. She didn't have to "make nice" with the parents who didn't answer their phones... or the back up number person. She had every right in the world to be completely honest and react to what had happened truthfully with all of the adults.

        The ONLY thing this provider did wrong was allow this parent in without money, allowed her to start short notice, and have the kid lay down shortly after she arrived. The truth is that whether or not the kid was there at eight a.m. or noon... there is an extremely extremely extremely high liklihood that she would have done the same thing IF she made it till nap without receiving a no from the provider. With the way she behaved with the Mom afterwards... it's a pretty good indication that the slap to the providers face would have come closer to 8 a.m. then noon if she would have come in the morning. Laying down may have been what set her off at that time of day but a kid that feels comfortable slapping a stranger adult would have done the same thing earlier if things weren't going her way.

        Having this happen at nap was most likely a blessing to the other children and the provider. At least she had the TIME to get the parents there right away without the poor other kids having to witness any more of it then they already did.
        talking about out of control behavior.did you see the boy on the show X factor last night.

        14year old boy threw a tantrum on stage in front of the entire world..

        This is what we are all coming to deal with and it's only getting worse...

        Comment

        • dEHmom
          Advanced Daycare.com Member
          • Dec 2010
          • 2355

          Originally posted by Crystal
          oh please. i am supposed to play nice with someone that comes here and behind the "unregistered" name insults me? i think not.

          i'm not sure how i have taken anything too far. i stayed out of this thread after it went to far by others (whoever "they" may be) until i was chastised by some "nameless, faceless person" i'm certainly not going to sit back and allow some "nameless, faceless person whose opinion is worthless to me" insult and chastise me without defending myself.

          unregistered might gain some respect if she'd own all of her posts with a name. I respect that Michael allows unregistered posting, but that doesn't mean i have to respect her.
          no one said you have to sit back and allow it, but I think there's a line between being mature about it, and being childish about it. It's fine if the opinion is worthless to you, but doesn't need to be said. If they are baiting, you don't need to bite.

          Comment

          • Crystal
            Advanced Daycare.com Member
            • Dec 2009
            • 4002

            Honestly nan, I DON'T CARE. If this provider and every other provider in the world wants to term a kid within 20 minutes of their first day of care because they get shaken up by a three year old tantrum, more power to em'. It is certainly within their rights to do so.. The downside for the provider is that word of mouth can DESTROY a business.

            Anyhow, I quit caring about this thread two days ago. I have decided that this providers drama is her own and it is irrelevant to me and my program.

            The ONLY reason I came back and posted was because i was quoted and insulted and felt i had a right to defend myself.

            Comment

            • Crystal
              Advanced Daycare.com Member
              • Dec 2009
              • 4002

              Originally posted by dEHmom
              no one said you have to sit back and allow it, but I think there's a line between being mature about it, and being childish about it. It's fine if the opinion is worthless to you, but doesn't need to be said. If they are baiting, you don't need to bite.
              Yes, it does need to be said. I wasn't being immature, I was being honest.

              Comment

              • nannyde
                All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
                • Mar 2010
                • 7320

                Originally posted by Crystal
                Honestly nan, I DON'T CARE. If this provider and every other provider in the world wants to term a kid within 20 minutes of their first day of care because they get shaken up by a three year old tntrum, more power to em'. I quit caring about this thread two days ago. I have decided that this providers drama is her own and it is irrelevant to me and my program.

                The ONLY reason I came back and posted was because i was quoted and insulted and felt i had a right to defend myself.
                But she didn't get shaken by a three year olds tantrum. She got shaken up by a three year old slapping her hard across the face. She got upset when that same kid kicked her laying down kids.

                Do you think it's healthy NOT to show these kids or their parents our true emotions?

                Hell I don't think I "have" a daycare parent or kid I haven't cried in front of numerous times. I'm a real live human being with FEELINGS. I don't try to be something else to any of them.
                http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...=doing+daycare

                Comment

                • Blackcat31
                  • Oct 2010
                  • 36124

                  Originally posted by Crystal
                  Yes, it does need to be said. I wasn't being immature, I was being honest.
                  Crystal,
                  I am NOT asking this to be rude or disrespectful but as a way of understanding different perspectives.

                  You have said that you try to take the child's perspective into consideration so in that line of thinking how would YOU have handled this situation?

                  Like I said, I really do want to know this, I think it is important for providers, parents, lurkers and trolls all alike to see that there are many ways of dealing with an issue such as this one. There are different ways to teach, to learn, and to solve problems and I like to have ALL the various ways/methods presented to me before I decide what works for me.

                  Let's pretend there are no issues about money or whether or not you would or wouldn't have allowed the child to arrive at nap time. Let's just say that all factors in the OP's situation were the way they actually were. So all drama aside, can you tell me how YOU would have handled this exact situation?

                  Comment

                  • Crystal
                    Advanced Daycare.com Member
                    • Dec 2009
                    • 4002

                    Originally posted by nannyde
                    But she didn't get shaken by a three year olds tantrum. She got shaken up by a three year old slapping her hard across the face. She got upset when that same kid kicked her laying down kids.

                    Do you think it's healthy NOT to show these kids or their parents our true emotions?

                    Hell I don't think I "have" a daycare parent or kid I haven't cried in front of numerous times. I'm a real live human being with FEELINGS. I don't try to be something else to any of them.
                    AGAIN, FOR THE LAST TIME: I am not saying she should tolerate it. I am saying she handled things differently than I woud have. I tried to leave it at that and I continue to get debated about it. I TRIED to drop out of this conversation by telling YOU I don't want to debate you. I walked away from this discussion because I could see that drama was brewing when someone contacted the mom and then I get insulted by an unregistered and feel I have to defend myself. I don't WANT to discuss it anymore, but if I don't then, well I can imagine what would be said about me.

                    I should be able, just like ANYONE else here, to share my opinion without it becoming a huge debate simply because I disgree, but that is impossible for some of you here.

                    I DON"T HAVE TIME FOR IT SO I WILL NOT POST IN THESE TYPES OF THREADS ANYMORE. Or, maybe I'll just post unregistered, so i can drop out whenever I feel like it, or after i insult someone and want to run and hide under the uregistered moniker

                    Comment

                    • jen
                      Advanced Daycare.com Member
                      • Sep 2009
                      • 1832

                      Originally posted by Crystal
                      oh please. i am supposed to play nice with someone that comes here and behind the "unregistered" name insults me? i think not.

                      i'm not sure how i have taken anything too far. i stayed out of this thread after it went to far by others (whoever "they" may be) until i was chastised by some "nameless, faceless person" i'm certainly not going to sit back and allow some "nameless, faceless person whose opinion is worthless to me" insult and chastise me without defending myself.

                      unregistered might gain some respect if she'd own all of her posts with a name. I respect that Michael allows unregistered posting, but that doesn't mean i have to respect her.
                      And herein lies the problem...

                      ALL people deserve respect....children should respect adults and not hit when they don't get what they want and you should respect other individuals on the forum, even the nameless, faceless ones. This is NOT your first disrespectful post on this thread...You started by disrespecting another poster by replying to her post with "blah, blah, blah..."

                      You have to practice it, to teach it...

                      Comment

                      • Unregistered

                        Well for start, not slap the child right back despite the reflex! Then try to calm them down and make sure to inform the parent at the end of the day. I dont have a ton of possible clients out there who are asking for childcare, so im not turning anyone away after one slap.

                        Comment

                        • Crystal
                          Advanced Daycare.com Member
                          • Dec 2009
                          • 4002

                          Originally posted by jen
                          And herein lies the problem...

                          ALL people deserve respect....children should respect adults and not hit when they don't get what they want and you should respect other individuals on the forum, even the nameless, faceless ones. This is NOT your first disrespectful post on this thread...You started by disrespecting another poster by replying to her post with "blah, blah, blah..."

                          You have to practice it, to teach it...
                          Someone who comes here and namelessly, facelessly insults me and tells me I am wrong is NOT deserving of my respect. YOU can respect themif you choose to. I choose not to. And I think the blah, blah, blah, was in another thread, but, I could be worng....let me go check.

                          And as far practicing it to teach it, I practice it and model it, by respecting my families AND the children I care for.

                          Comment

                          • Blackcat31
                            • Oct 2010
                            • 36124

                            Originally posted by Unregistered
                            Well for start, not slap the child right back despite the reflex! Then try to calm them down and make sure to inform the parent at the end of the day. I dont have a ton of possible clients out there who are asking for childcare, so im not turning anyone away after one slap.
                            Well, thankfully slapping the child back, even in reflex, was NEVER once even mentioned by the OP.

                            If you accept clients (parents or children) who behave badly like this just because you need the clientel is, in a way, encouraging the behaviors.

                            Why would it be ok for a child to slap you across the face and get away with it for the sake of needing clients.

                            I am sorry, you might be the nicest and most professional daycare provider on the planet but IMHO, that is just wrong. :confused:

                            Comment

                            • Crystal
                              Advanced Daycare.com Member
                              • Dec 2009
                              • 4002

                              Originally posted by Blackcat31
                              Crystal,
                              I am NOT asking this to be rude or disrespectful but as a way of understanding different perspectives.

                              You have said that you try to take the child's perspective into consideration so in that line of thinking how would YOU have handled this situation?

                              Like I said, I really do want to know this, I think it is important for providers, parents, lurkers and trolls all alike to see that there are many ways of dealing with an issue such as this one. There are different ways to teach, to learn, and to solve problems and I like to have ALL the various ways/methods presented to me before I decide what works for me.

                              Let's pretend there are no issues about money or whether or not you would or wouldn't have allowed the child to arrive at nap time. Let's just say that all factors in the OP's situation were the way they actually were. So all drama aside, can you tell me how YOU would have handled this exact situation?
                              just saw this.... I will come back to answer, have kids waking up!!!!

                              Comment

                              • dave4him
                                Advanced Daycare.com Member
                                • Oct 2011
                                • 1333

                                Getting loud in here. Okay lets calm down cause i dont think its getting anyone anywhere at this point. Sorry you have been offended so much, i had no problem with your post and response. I for one think we all have to take issues on our own personal perspective. Thankfully we have the freedom to do so, its what makes us good at our jobs. We are discerners of whats going on around US and WE know the issues how we would handle them and do not know what anyone else would do, and maybe should do. But its hard because we live in a world where everyone is allowed to speak for themselves. So im glad you have and i am sorry you felt insulted.... okay im done with this i got kids to go take care of
                                "God said, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do.'"
                                Acts 13:22

                                Comment

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