Potty Training Experts Again! How Do You Make A Child Interested In The Potty?

[spud912]

I didn't want to hijack the other thread so I created my own .

I have been trying to potty train my 2 1/2 year old on and off for about 6 months with no success. She goes through stages where she is semi-interested in the potty, but it only lasts about 5 minutes (literally). I have tried to have her pick out her own underwear, I've told her that the diapers are all gone (and call the Pull-Ups underwear), I've tried bribing her to sit on the potty, but she just never stays interested in going potty. Other things I've tried: training panties with the cover (she pees in them and doesn't care), running around naked (she holds in the pee until nap time and then pees in her diaper), going to the potty frequently (usually ends in a temper tantrum....see below) and using a potty chair (used as a catch-all for her toys). I have her sit on a toilet insert with a stool in the bathroom (just like the other kids). I have been very nonchalant about the whole thing (with the exception of saying "you're going to have to use the big girl potty, like dcg, dcg, dcb, mommy and daddy."

She doesn't care if she is in a soaked diaper all day and she HATES to get her diaper changed or go potty (it is a temper tantrum EVERY TIME we change her diaper). I am willing to take it slow, but at what point do I force her to potty train? I'm worried that she will never have the desire to go potty. My dd is very hot-tempered and I know it's a control thing for her. I just don't want her to be 4 and acting the same way!

[nannyde]

I didn't want to hijack the other thread so I created my own .

I have been trying to potty train my 2 1/2 year old on and off for about 6 months with no success. She goes through stages where she is semi-interested in the potty, but it only lasts about 5 minutes (literally). I have tried to have her pick out her own underwear, I've told her that the diapers are all gone (and call the Pull-Ups underwear), I've tried bribing her to sit on the potty, but she just never stays interested in going potty. Other things I've tried: training panties with the cover (she pees in them and doesn't care), running around naked (she holds in the pee until nap time and then pees in her diaper), going to the potty frequently (usually ends in a temper tantrum....see below) and using a potty chair (used as a catch-all for her toys). I have her sit on a toilet insert with a stool in the bathroom (just like the other kids). I have been very nonchalant about the whole thing (with the exception of saying "you're going to have to use the big girl potty, like dcg, dcg, dcb, mommy and daddy."

She doesn't care if she is in a soaked diaper all day and she HATES to get her diaper changed or go potty (it is a temper tantrum EVERY TIME we change her diaper). I am willing to take it slow, but at what point do I force her to potty train? I'm worried that she will never have the desire to go potty. My dd is very hot-tempered and I know it's a control thing for her. I just don't want her to be 4 and acting the same way!

I wouldn't care a lick about her not potty training. I would put all my energy into the hot temper and the misbehavior when she is changed.

When you are dealing with that....... potty training is on the other end of the universe in priorities.

You need to get the behavior in check on all things potty before you can even consider doing anything ELSE with her potty wise.

[Heidi]

I agree with Nan-

Despite what Aunt Martha or Grandma say, early potty training is not an good indicator of your parenting nor does it certify your child a genius.

Diaper changes are non-negotiable, but using the potty is. She needs to comlpy to the diaper changes. Get her involved where you can. Let her "help" you change her. Some kids do better standing up. Buy her pants she can manage herself, when you are done changing the diaper, she can put them on herself. It will prepare her for when she is ready to pt, making her more independent.

You need to let go of pt fight. She will eventually be potty trained! It has become a power struggle, an unnecessary one.

My oldest son is now 21. I tried to pt at 22 months, I tried at 24 months, I tried again a few months after that. All it got us both is frustrated.

Just before his 3rd bday, I said "Hey, G, we are almost out of diapers. Instead of more diapers, how about we buy you some underwear and you can start using the toilet?" He said "ok". That weekend, we bought underwear, which he picked out, but I said nothing. On Monday morning, I said, "Well, G, we've run out of diapers, it's time to start using the potty". That was it, he had maybe two accidents, and was fully potty trained within the week. BECAUSE HE WAS READY.

[AnneCordelia]

I also agree with Nan. I wouldn't even be thinking about PTing. You can't make a child interested in the toilet and her young age is still such that if she isn't naturally interested I wouldnt' push it.

I also would work on getting her to be polite through diaper changes and then move on to the potty in 6 months.

[spud912]

Thanks for all of the advice! She is improving with the diaper changing and has come a long way already. I have found that if I tell her that it is time for diaper changing, she throws a tantrum. However, if I give her some choice (such as "would you like me to change you on the floor or in the bathroom?"), she will be fine. Also if I distract her then she will be ok. I just have to be very sensitive around her because if she senses me trying to control her, she flips out.

I guess my biggest question is: she will be interested in becoming potty trained eventually, right???? If she isn't showing interest at lets say 3 1/2, should I be worried?

[AnneCordelia]

Thanks for all of the advice! She is improving with the diaper changing and has come a long way already. I have found that if I tell her that it is time for diaper changing, she throws a tantrum. However, if I give her some choice (such as "would you like me to change you on the floor or in the bathroom?"), she will be fine. Also if I distract her then she will be ok. I just have to be very sensitive around her because if she senses me trying to control her, she flips out.

I guess my biggest question is: she will be interested in becoming potty trained eventually, right???? If she isn't showing interest at lets say 3 1/2, should I be worried?

She's not 3.5 yet so don't be worrying about the future.

Is she a developmentally normal 2.5 year old? If so then YES she will potty train eventually. Developmentally normal children potty train.

Kids like to be able to 'save face' because they have pride too...but, IMO, allowing her the choice is shooting yourself in the foot. She wants to be in control and you are allowing it. It translates to all aspects of life. I had a similar issue with my 3rd son...he wanted control so I told him how he controls the situation: "when you use the potty then you can do it on your own. So long as you wear diapers then I must change you in the changing area and there is no fussing." Consistency is key and providing her with the security to know that she doesn't NEED to be in control because you are taking care of her needs.

[Heidi]

She's not 3.5 yet so don't be worrying about the future.

Is she a developmentally normal 2.5 year old? If so then YES she will potty train eventually. Developmentally normal children potty train.

Kids like to be able to 'save face' because they have pride too...but, IMO, allowing her the choice is shooting yourself in the foot. She wants to be in control and you are allowing it. It translates to all aspects of life. I had a similar issue with my 3rd son...he wanted control so I told him how he controls the situation: "when you use the potty then you can do it on your own. So long as you wear diapers then I must change you in the changing area and there is no fussing." Consistency is key and providing her with the security to know that she doesn't NEED to be in control because you are taking care of her needs.

I would agree that one can go the "choice" route a little too often, but think it's ok in this case. SHe does not get the choice as to WHEN to be changed, but she is getting the choice as to WHERE.

I would add that I don't beleive in distracting children, especially when it involves their personal care. They should be engaged in the process. We are helping them do something that they cannot do themselves, we're not their personal servant. Getting her more involved in the process, and letting her do whatever part of it she can for herself (putting pants back on, for instance), gives her a sense of automony and builds the skills she will need when she is potty trained. One less thing to worry about then.

I noticed that there is an add now for pullup diapers. I wonder if they are different than "pull-ups", but you may consider those. You take off the soiled or wet diaper, clean her up, and then hand her the fresh one, as well as her pants. First few times, you help her until she can manage, giving her less help each time. Then walk away. Nice smile "ok, when you are dressed, come on out and play!" Dont be suprised if once she can do this, and you have given up the great fight, she doesn't just decide on her own to use the potty.

[Christian Mother]

I started potty training my daughter just after she turned 2 and she just was not interested so I backed off for 2 months. It took about 2 months to get her trained but with my daycare kids only 2 weeks. Not sure why it took longer with my daughter...maybe bc she's mine and knows how to get a way with things...!! I found that if I approached it with a positive and none nonchalant attitude then we where going somewhere with it. It's all about picking up the signs also. They have to be ready to potty trained you can't really force it on them. Start to address like Nanny says the behavior with diaper changes. Some of the things I notice with one of my littles is the control they want while changes. I am in full control at all times of this child while changes when that child wants to take over control. I simply say would you like to go naked with no pants no diaper? They think about that a bit and decide to sit still...my little is 2 1/2 dcb so at the same age as your daughter. Sometimes distraction works or giving him a task like holding a baby wipe for me something that makes him feel important in the changing. But also, I've noticed if this child has not gotten enough rest the night before or is sleeping...the diaper changes and mood is just plain off for the day which is "control" manner really comes out. That might be the same thing for your daughter. Assess her and see how she responds when she's gotten good rest and a balanced meal and see that behavior change. Hope this helps.

[sharlan]

Stop making potty training an issue. Put everything away and give it a break. In the grand scheme of things, she's not going to be going to kindergarten in diapers.

I potty trained both of my girls at 18 mos. It was one of my biggest mistakes. Both were bed wetters at night. My eldest stopped wetting at 4 after a horrific incident (camping, 28*, wet sleeping bag, hypothermia). My youngest was 10. I took both girls to urologists who told me that the main cause of bed wetting was caused by potty training before their bodies were ready. They may have been ready and receptive, but their bodies were not.