Visitors To The Daycare Home While You Are Working...

[MARSTELAC]

I have a large family daycare that I run out of my home. I am at full capacity.
you all know how busy we are when there are children to care for, especially if full.

Most everyone knows I do not like people stopping over to visit while I am working.

Here is the problem....my mother-in-law keeps coming over. Once per week now for weeks. I have a large sign on my front door that asks people not to ring the doorbell during nap time. She rings it. I have yelled at her because she does not get it that I don't want or have time for visitors during my workday.

It hasn't stopped her. She was back again this week. Comes over and plops herself at my table (where I had a lot of personal, financial info...it was naptime and I was working on contracts and bills). I had to quickly move all of my stuff. Well, this time took the cake. I had the one door locked and I felt a presence behind me. She had come through the back door and was standing behind me. It made me jump and scared the c*ap out of me. This just took the cake.

Next thing I know, she is in my child's bedroom (where she is attending virtual school and had door shut). I was livid.

I have asked hubby for help in talking to his mother but he just doesn't see anything wrong with her being here.

Am I wrong? We are not close. I don't want visitors. I don't have time for it. Why don't they understand? Anyone else suffering from this issue?
Thanks for letting me vent..
Send advice my way...

Mrs. M

[Kaddidle Care]

You AND hubby need to have a sit down with his Mom on a weekend and explain that this is indeed a business and she needs to realize it is so. I'm sure she doesn't visit your husband at work and plop herself down with a cuppa at his desk.

Hubby has to back you or she will drive a wedge between you.

Best wishes.

[Heidi]

What you say SHOULD be resepected. Sorry she doesn't get it! You are not wrong.

I have the opposite perspective. I love having visitors, and quite often invite my friend or MIL over for coffee at nap time. As a family childcare provider, I feel a little isolated sometimes. It's nice to talk to a grown up now and then!

[mickey2]

You AND hubby need to have a sit down with his Mom on a weekend and explain that this is indeed a business and she needs to realize it is so. I'm sure she doesn't visit your husband at work and plop herself down with a cuppa at his desk.

Hubby has to back you or she will drive a wedge between you.

Best wishes.

I totally agree!

Your husband needs to listen to you and talk to his mom. Mine did not and it created a LOT of resentment for me. We separated because I was sick of his mom!

[e.j.]

As much as I love having company stop by, I just don't have the time to entertain anyone during day care hours. My sister does drop by once in awhile for lunch if she's working nearby and I love it but she is very respectful of my time and business. She brings her own lunch and stays out of my way when I'm busy with the kids. When she has time, she even helps out.

I don't blame you for being upset that your mil keeps dropping by, especially when it seems she doesn't respect boundaries. I think Kaddidle Care made a great point - she probably would never think to stop by her son's place and sit down for a chit chat or coffee. It might help to point that out to her.

[Mandy_Jane]

Yeah, I think I am the opposite too. I LOVE visitors because it gets VERY lonely only having toddlers to talk to. My mom AND dad come by at least 3 time a week, and my mom always helps out when she's here. My dad just stays out of the way! ::

If I had to go all day, everyday with no visitors, I would go crazy!

[Blackcat31]

I have often used the phrase "Licensing frowns upon .... " or "licensing advises us not to...." and fill in the blank. I tell relatives that I understand it is my home where they are welcome any time but during the day it is a business and just as if I were at the office, you cannot come hang out.

If your MIL wants to visit your dd, she should invite her over to her house or understand that during the day dd is also "at school".

[MyAngels]

Invite her to visit during your busiest time and put her to work. Just kidding. I don't like visitors during the day, either.

Really, it shouldn't matter at all whether your husband thinks that her visits are not a problem, all that should matter to him is that it's a problem for you. Since it's his mother he needs to stand behind you 100% and tell her to stop coming by. You would do the same for him if there were a problem with your family, I'm sure.

[Heidi]

Actually, I think MyAngels might be on to something!

Maybe your MIL is lonely, or lacks a purpose. I assume she is retired. Perhaps she is lonely and bored herself?

If you can't beat em, join em...ask her to help you! Maybe you could INVITE her to come on a certain day of the week and read stories, or help with a project? Perhaps she'll be unlikely to insinuate herself if she is invited?

[Jenniferdawn]

My licensor told me just the other day that if there is a regular visitor, like once a week, they would need to be tb tested and fingerprinted. They are very protective of the children, which I think is great. Maybe you could approach it from that angle. The idea of her having to go through all that might turn her off to dropping by so frequently.