Afraid I May Be Getting Burnt Out

[awestbrook713]

I had decided I wanted to do daycare from my home so I could stay home with our new son and still supplement the family income. I'm starting to doubt whether I will be doing this for long. I loved it in the beginning but now I just dread seeing the parents or wondering if I am gonna get paid, I put so much effort into this doing arts and crafts with the kids, reading to them, taking them outside, goodie bags for the holidays and the parents could care less. I'm tired of having to fight for what I want out of my business, I should be enjoying this more not worrying about who is mad at me or whos gonna leave because I raise rates. I knew running a business wasn't gonna be easy but I may not be a strong enough person.

My husband is finally getting on a first shift job where he works and I am seriously thinking about applying for a job on second or third shift so we wouldn't have to put the baby in daycare. Then all these unhappy parents can try to find these cheaper day care providers they seem to think are around here.

Just had to vent hoping this feeling passes and everything works out.....:confused:

[daycare]

I had decided I wanted to do daycare from my home so I could stay home with our new son and still supplement the family income. I'm starting to doubt whether I will be doing this for long. I loved it in the beginning but now I just dread seeing the parents or wondering if I am gonna get paid, I put so much effort into this doing arts and crafts with the kids, reading to them, taking them outside, goodie bags for the holidays and the parents could care less. I'm tired of having to fight for what I want out of my business, I should be enjoying this more not worrying about who is mad at me or whos gonna leave because I raise rates. I knew running a business wasn't gonna be easy but I may not be a strong enough person.

My husband is finally getting on a first shift job where he works and I am seriously thinking about applying for a job on second or third shift so we wouldn't have to put the baby in daycare. Then all these unhappy parents can try to find these cheaper day care providers they seem to think are around here.

Just had to vent hoping this feeling passes and everything works out.....:confused:

I have found this to be the most thankless job I have ever had.

You have to remind yourself why you do this. If you did it just to stay home for your child, it may not be a strong enough reason for you to keep it up.

I love children and I love what I do. People tell me I am made to do this...

BUT then you throw the parents into the mix and I begin to doubt if I can do this or not.

At the end of the day, I remind myself that I do this for the kids, not the parents. The only thing that they care about is that their child is safe, happy and fed. They really don't care about anything else. At least most of the parents that I have worked with

For example, I took the kids on a guided field trip to the pumpkin patch. I paid almost $150.00 for 7 kids and myself to go. I did not get one thank you. Not even from the one parent that attended with us. I bought them all lunch and we had a great time. But I do these things for the kids to have the experience, not to please the parents...

Only if we could get the children without the parents...

[awestbrook713]

I consider myself a pretty strong person, I worked at a doctors office before this and had to deal with people daily that would get mad because I couldn't fit them in, it didn't matter if I had done it 20 times before that one time was enough to make them forget. Honestly what I think is wrong with this world is this feeling of entitlement everyone has.

The parents feel entitled to low costing care and I feel entitled to rates that I can survive off of and pay my bills, whos right and whos wrong in this situation. I am not forcing them to stay yet they sit here and tell me what I should be doing and how I should be running my daycare. I really don't want to continue dwelling on this. I have a great bunch of kids who I care for deeply, they make me smile and knowing I can teach them and make a difference in their lives. I just wish their parents weren't going to ruin it. I have one little girl who had been to so many providers many of the moms friends that had to tell her they couldn't deal with her, she was difficult at first but has come so far and is actually one of my best behaved kids but now because of a rate change mom may be taking them out of my daycare, and I feel bad for the girl who will have to go through the same process all over.

I think you taking those children and spending the money was a wonderful and sweet thing to do so for the parents who just don't get it let me thank you for being an awesome provider and caring enough, I can only hope my love of children makes me strong enough to stay in this business.

[daycare]

I consider myself a pretty strong person, I worked at a doctors office before this and had to deal with people daily that would get mad because I couldn't fit them in, it didn't matter if I had done it 20 times before that one time was enough to make them forget. Honestly what I think is wrong with this world is this feeling of entitlement everyone has.

The parents feel entitled to low costing care and I feel entitled to rates that I can survive off of and pay my bills, whos right and whos wrong in this situation. I am not forcing them to stay yet they sit here and tell me what I should be doing and how I should be running my daycare. I really don't want to continue dwelling on this. I have a great bunch of kids who I care for deeply, they make me smile and knowing I can teach them and make a difference in their lives. I just wish their parents weren't going to ruin it. I have one little girl who had been to so many providers many of the moms friends that had to tell her they couldn't deal with her, she was difficult at first but has come so far and is actually one of my best behaved kids but now because of a rate change mom may be taking them out of my daycare, and I feel bad for the girl who will have to go through the same process all over.

I think you taking those children and spending the money was a wonderful and sweet thing to do so for the parents who just don't get it let me thank you for being an awesome provider and caring enough, I can only hope my love of children makes me strong enough to stay in this business.

Thanks so much for the kind words... You sound like an awesome provider as well. I think that anyone who comes onto a form to want to better themselves gets a thumbs up in my book any day.

I think what is so different about this business is that a lot of emotion comes into it and we have to learn to separate it. We have to shut our feelings off and still preform our jobs, which is hard to do sometimes. NOt always do we have to shut them off, just when needed.

I used to have a family in my care for 11.5 hours a day for no reason other than the parents did not want to parent, the kids were out of control when in their care and they couldnt take it. So they want them here with me. The kids went to bed as soon as they got home. Just long enough for the car ride and, change of clothes and then into bed. It was super sad. However, the mom would come to my home every day and kick me in the face by blaming anything negative that happened at home on me. It was always my fault. If the kid pooped his pants at their home, my fault, if he sneezed wrong, my fault...simply because they didnt want to parent.

So I can see how you would feel that way. I think that we just need to make sure that we are only doing business with the families that have similar parenting styles like ours or at least ones that respect everything about our program at the end of the day...

[cheerfuldom]

the only solution is to find a new job or make your daycare into what you really want it to be. raise rates and change every rule that needs to be changed, weed out all the families that can't handle this and then replace with new families that can. It took me awhile to get to that place but I really do have a great group of families. Rarely anyone ever late, haven't had payment issues for over a year, no major problems with the kids that cannot be resolved pretty easily. Its still hard work but definitely a way better situation than when I started.

[awestbrook713]

If I had only known what I know now when I started taking on the families I have half of them wouldn't be here. I am a strict parent I love my kids but they will be respectful and polite and that is so hard to teach these days because it isn't taught in every home. I feel for these kids because they have no one but their parents to learn from, its a vicious cycle, when I teach a child how to be polite or what is not exceptable and I see an improvement that makes me feel great.

I want this to work out so badly, my head is just spinning and full of what ifs. I will just have to decide whats best for me and my family.

[awestbrook713]

cheerfuldom: that is what I want, I read about how a lot of you have such awesome dcf's and I'm jealous. I told my husband tonight I wish I could find families that were like us when we were the ones seeking child care.

[cheerfuldom]

well we can help you if you want to make daycare changes. It IS possible. You live and learn and move on with new solutions and skills and you get better at your job. Thats how any job is.

[awestbrook713]

I do need to make changes, I have worked on my rates and that is a done deal so now its a waiting game to see who stays and who leaves. The ones that are thinking about leaving are the ones that should have been sent on their way a while ago, I just don't have the back bone to term anyone yet.

I have redone my policies but always feel I am leaving room for them to walk all over me and I don't want that, I want to have more time to focus on the kids and the activities we do and less time having to deal with difficult parents.

[cheerfuldom]

maybe you can post the portions of your contract that you feel aren't solid enough or have too much wiggle room. don't forget also that it isn't just what you put in your contract but how you enforce that.

[VanessaEO]

Cheerfuldom is exactly right - if its the parents that are the low point in your job - then you need to create policy and rates that support your business. You weed those out that conflict with your business policies and eventually you find yourself with a group of kids & parents that are amazing.

You *can* get there. Especially if you are in daycare for the right reasons. (Because you love working with kids vs. you are lazy and don't ever interact with the kids)

[awestbrook713]

Here are my policies I will point out areas I am concerned about:

Policies
Enrollment
Due to daycare regulations all parents must submit the Blue card to me. Any child, not of Kindergarten age, must also have a medical assessment signed by a doctor, nurse practitioner, or physician’s assistant on file. Without these forms enrollment will not be possible. The first two weeks of care will be a trial period; provider/parent may terminate care at any time during these two weeks without any prior notice.

Rates
I reserve the right to change my rates once a year. You will be given 2 weeks’ notice prior to any changes.

Early drop off/ late pick-up Fee
My hours are 6am to 5pm. I allow 5:45am drop offs and 5:15pm pickups. If it becomes habit to come earlier or later then these times a $5 fee will be added and due at pay day. If something comes up and you need to drop your children off earlier or pick up later let me know as soon as possible.
I have one family that drops off at 5:45 which I would rather they not, mom lives acrossed the street there is no reason dad can't drop them there and she bring them over before she goes to work, the 5:15 pick up is for a mom that works till 5 she may not be staying. Should i just get rid of the I allow 5:45am drop offs and 5:15pm pickups because I really don't want anyone else coming that late or early?

Meals
Breakfast is served between 6:30-8:00am
AM Snack is served between 9:30-10:30am
Lunch is served between 11:30-12:30pm
PM Snack is served between 2:00-3:00pm
I participate in the Child and Adult Care Food Program. I provide meals to the children in my care following CACFP guidelines. I will offer your child a meal/snack if they choose not to eat what is given at that meal time they will not be forced to eat, but they will have to wait until the next meal/snack time before they are offered something to eat again.

Sick children
I require that children with fevers of 100.4 or more, vomiting, or diarrhea be picked up as soon as possible. Any child that develops a rash during care or shows up with one will not be allowed to stay in care that day and will need to provide a doctors’ note stating the rash is not contagious in order to return to care. Children who become ill will be kept separate from the rest of the group in a comfortable environment until a parent picks them up. Please have alternate care lined up for these types of occasions.
Is 100.4 too low or is it a reasonable temp to send them home with.

Provider Holidays, Vacations, Sick days
I will take up to 2 weeks vacation. Parents will be informed ahead of time so they may set up care for these times.
Holidays my daycare will be closed will be as followed: New Years day, Christmas Eve and day, Thanksgiving Day and the day after, Memorial Day, Labor Day, and 4th of July. If I become ill and am unable to open or need to close early I will call all parents as soon as possible. I don't require them to pay for my vacation time, or holidays although I wish I could, thats another bridge to cross at a later time I guess.


Children absences from care/Vacations
I require 1 month prior notice for full week vacations. If not given you will be responsible for 1/2 of your weekly rate.
Single days’ up to 3 days off in a row: 1-2 weeks’ notice. If not given you will be responsible for the full weekly rate.
Sick days or unforeseen circumstances: handle per agreement with provider.

Substitutes
***** Westbrook is my substitute. If I have training or doctors’ appointments he will fill in for me. The only times when notice will not be given ahead of time will be in the case of an emergency. If you are not comfortable with this arrangement you may find other care for your child that day, or in cases of emergency come pick your child(ren) up from daycare.

Medication
Only over-the-counter topical medications such as sunscreen, diaper rash cream, and bug repellant will be administered to children under my care. I am not allowed to have medication for children under my care kept in diaper bags or day bags.

Schedules
Due to state laws I am only allowed 8 kids to watch at one time. Scheduled days of care will be followed strictly. If I have any open spots for a day they will be filled on a first come first serve basis. If you are going on vacation or taking time off and will not need me for a few days or a week please let me know as soon as possible so I may have time to fill these empty slots.

Termination Procedure
This contract may be terminated by either parent/guardian or provider by giving 1 month’s prior written notice in advance of the ending date. The provider may terminate the contract without giving any notice if the parent/guardian does not make payments when due. Failure by the provider to enforce one or more terms of the contract does not waive the right of the provider to enforce any other terms of the contract.

I just feel like I am missing alot of key things.

[erinalexmom]

I dont know about the rest, but I would do away with the drop off pick up early/late thing. I would just eliminate that altogether. But that is me because its a huge annoyance for me. I dont want any kid here for one second longer than they have to be. That is my biggest annoyance honestly so I am firm about that. Some parents are worse than thier children honestly. They like to push the rules, so they see that policy as a way to get extra time for the same $

[wahmof3]

I was ready to throw in the towel too. I had a dcf that would push & push me to my limit. Over the past several months I have had many tears & wondered if this is the profession I should be in.

I revised my policies, especially the ones this family was taking advantage of. Gave them the new policies & 2 weeks to sign the form saying they understand & will follow them.

Apparently it didn't sit well with them because they gave me notice. Funny thing is the policies didn't change much, just the fact that I was going to enforce them. I let them out of their contract early.

Let me tell you the difference it has made!!! I once again really enjoy what I am doing!!!!!! It's truely amazing!!! Sometimes, no matter how good the kiddos are, have to decide whats best for US!


This is MY BUSINESS not the parents business! And sometimes when they just don't fit with your program, you need to let them go. AND ITS OK!!!

[mismatchedsocks]

I have a few contracts out there. One is the one I give new parents who sign their kids up. This is the newest one, with all the changes and its written after 11 years of daycare with EVERYTHING i can think of and how I want it. I have a few families on this.

Then I have one from a few years ago, I have 4 kids enrolled on this one. The major change here is the paid holidays and an added day off. I dont make the current families change over to new contract, they are grandfathered in old one. So 4 of my families dont HAVE to pay me for holidays but 3 of the 4 do.

I have one from 6 years ago. This one has a few other changes, like age range for each pay rate, and holidays are unpaid with 5 vacation days a year. This family that is on this has a new baby that is on the new contract and the other child on this contract.

I think this flexibility is what keeps me full, that and when I do changes I can give them to NEW parents and they have no idea when I changed it and assume everyone is on the same one. I have some OLD parents just abide by the new contract, which I appreciate.

Maybe something like this. Make a new contract NOW, dont give to all families, just the new ones, and for the old ones make the major changes that you need to??

As for the allowing early late drop offs, just make a statement. I am open 6-5. Please let me know and we can see if another arrangement can be worked out if you work later or earlier then this. That way you can figure out if you want to take them on. Just because you offer for one family, doesnt mean you have to for everyone.

I can email you my LONG contract and you can fix for you??