Arghhh! Frustrated Beyond Belief!!! DCP Running Late

[Mandy_Jane]

Ok so I posted yesterday about a new little boy who started at my daycare and the issues I was having with him. Well, I never could get the boy to nap yesterday, and by 3:00 pm he was a royal mess, and CRABBY beyond belief. I told his mother this issue he had with not wanting his shoes out of his site and the bloody murder screaming fit he had when I tried to take them off for naptime. I asked her if he had slippers he could bring to DC and I could hide the shoes after he gets here. Or if he possibly at least had another pair of shoes without metal buckles on them that she could bring so he wouldn't ruin my leather couch. Her reply was, "Well,.........." And I said, "You don't have ANY other shoes for him?" And she said no. So I guess I'm out of luck.

Also, I am staying open later for this mom for the two days a week she is bringing her son. I would like to close at 5:45, but I told her I would work with her schedule. She was supposed to pick up between 6:15 and 6:30 pm according to her. So she shows up at 6:37 last night to get him. No I'm sorry for running late or anything! And she didn't even sign him in and out yesterday either! When I pointed it out as she was leaving, she made no effort to do so. So I said, "Well I guess you can sign him in tomorrow for both days."

So this morning she calls and says she is going in to work late and she won't be bringing him until 9:00. (Normal drop off is supposed to be around 8:00 am) So, I figure no problem. At least she let me know. Well, it's 9:50 am right now and still not here. I really can't stand dealing with families like this. So inconsiderate, and especially after I am making an exception for her like I am. I have my dcps fill out a form for contracted hours for a reason. It's so I know how my days are going to go and who is going to be here when. It just really irks me that we are on day 2 and already having these issues.

Ok, well, I feel better now. I had to get this out of my system!

[Mandy_Jane]

Ok, well DCB showed up right after I finished the above post. I've decided to try the "take the shoes off as soon as mom leaves" method. He has been crying hysterically for 15 min straight now and all he will say is "MY SHOE, MY SHOE! MY SHOE!" I just don't know what to do with him. If I try to come near him he hits at me and says no. I just don't know if I can handle him. His mom just wanted to laugh off my concerns when I brought them up to her. Like, "Oh, that's just how he is......"

[Blackcat31]

Wow! If I were you I would term now!

I would call mom and tell her that her child's behavior is out of control and that you will NOT tolerate being hit. I would have her pick up immediately.

There is no way I would allow a parent to be so unconcerned about my rules and policies.....how completely disrespectful!!

IIMHO, if you choose to keep him, you are only opening the door for more trouble.


(((hugs))) for having to deal with this.

[wdmmom]

Sounds like you are better off terming. If you are already experiencing problems with the parent, they are about to get worse. And, if I had to guess...going in 1 hour late this morning is going to net you working an hour later tonight. Expect pickup around 737pm tonight!!!

[Mandy_Jane]

And, if I had to guess...going in 1 hour late this morning is going to net you working an hour later tonight. Expect pickup around 737pm tonight!!!

Lord, I hope not!!! She actually said she would be here a little earlier tonight, around 6:00 pm. So we will see if that actually happens or not. So he seems to have settled down a bit now, after 25 minutes of full blown freak out. I just left him to himself as I couldn't really seem to comfort him. I don't even know if I should attempt naptime today.

It's just so upsetting that I am having so much trouble with the only two families I have enrolled right now. I just reopened my daycare after a LONG break and I hope that this isn't how all families are going to be now!

[jennajury]

Oh that is a tough situation! I agree with above posts you probably should term now, because it'll be better for you in the long run. However if you decide not to do that, completely understandable. I have a 3 year old that was like that when he first started however not as bad. His problem was with his blanket and cup, which I let kids bring but they only get for naptime. I believe it inhibits him. Whenever he got completely out of control I would set him off to the side and tell him this is his "grumpy spot" and that is where he would sit until he was done with his tantrum. It's still a struggle with blanket and cup but I am consistent in putting them up and not letting him have them. It will take time. However I still say the better option would be not watching him anymore, especially if the parent is going to keep acting with complete disregard and disrespect towards you.

[Ariana]

This is why I have a 6 week "integration period" where I get to choose to terminate without any notice. This behavior is not going to improve

[Zoe]

I just reopened my daycare after a LONG break and I hope that this isn't how all families are going to be now!

Not all families are like this! I promise you! For your sanity, please either speak up with this mother or term. I'd hate to think of you burning out because of this. Something I've learned on this forum, is that if you do a parent a favor, they don't see it as one. They see it as the norm. Don't give in on those shoes that will ruin your couch. He needs a nap. If those things can't be accomplished at your daycare, he needs to go somewhere else. Hugs to you!

[Mandy_Jane]

Well, after the initial shoe meltdown this morning, he seems to be doing better. I think he had to get over the shock that I had taken his shoes away. If he was going to be here on a daily basis, I MAY be able to work with him. But seeing as how he is only going to be here 2 days a week, I bet I will be starting over with him each week. I haven't attempted nap time yet, but I think I will at least try again and see how that goes. Honestly though, nap time is definitely going to be a deal-breaker for me. If he can't at least lay down for 45 minutes quietly, then he can't be here. Because I NEED my break in the middle of the day!

[beachgrl]

Well, after the initial shoe meltdown this morning, he seems to be doing better. I think he had to get over the shock that I had taken his shoes away. If he was going to be here on a daily basis, I MAY be able to work with him. But seeing as how he is only going to be here 2 days a week, I bet I will be starting over with him each week. I haven't attempted nap time yet, but I think I will at least try again and see how that goes. Honestly though, nap time is definitely going to be a deal-breaker for me. If he can't at least lay down for 45 minutes quietly, then he can't be here. Because I NEED my break in the middle of the day!

I totally feel you on this one as I have a similar family of one of my dcb's and they have not gotten much better...maybe sligthly but only after a very uncomfortable conversation with dcd and even then both parents are on different ends of the earth it seems and have no idea what is going on. I never know what days I will have dcb until they call me that am wanting to grace me with his presence and then it could be 8:30 or it could be after 10 am before they show. dcb has a hard time with coming in and leaving out in general and has no set routine. He is not bad to deal with, but he does have to have his lovey and gosh forbid he can't find it! He does fine for me but definitely shows himself with dcm and dcd and he has thrown some good ones here before he realized I meant what I said. I just feel bad for him because he isn't in a set routine so he is somewhat harder to adjust and I have to make sure to try to do activities with him that we have already done other days so he won't miss them but I never know when he will be here. I will be so glad when I get enrollment up enough to force a specific pt/ft day schedule with this family or either tell them I can't do it anymore because it is pretty disruptive not knowing, especially when I have days off with my other family but Idk if I can leave to do things until I haven't heard from them around 10ish, ugh..

Good luck but if his behavior doesn't improve within a few days i would term and I would really think about staying later to accommodate, are you charging more for that or doing her a favor by staying open that much later...and if she is going to be even later than what she said you should be charging a late fee. I had to do that with this family and theirs became so much that I had to tell them I would give them two days to be a few min late due to other factors and the fact it was costing them so much...funny, since doing that there has only been one afternoon that the lateness was a factor. May also explain why I only have the child a couple days a week now but I am okay with that, .

[cheerfuldom]

OP, your two new families are both not working out from the sounds of it. I would term both families, figure out exactly what you want, do not interview anyone that does not fit into your program and do not start out your re-entry into daycare with all this drama. I think you need to just start over.

[CheekyChick]

I had a little girl who was like that about her shoes. They were her security blanket of sorts. It made no difference if she wore them or not, so I let her keep them on and she was happy. Do whatever you can do to make him feel comfortable and he will hopefully come around soon.

[Blackcat31]

I had a little girl who was like that about her shoes. They were her security blanket of sorts. It made no difference if she wore them or not, so I let her keep them on and she was happy. Do whatever you can do to make him feel comfortable and he will hopefully come around soon.

I would never allow a child to keep their shoes on in my house just to make them comfortable. Wearing shoes in the presence of floor players is a safety hazard and simply not doable in my home.

[daycare]

I am the mistake queen when it comes to Daycare...

I have learned that if it starts out bad, it's only going to get worse. The child you can control and change, but you can't do anything about the parent..

If the parent is already showing this many signs of disrespect for your rules, no amount of money will make it better. No matter how many late fees you charge, how much you complain, this mom will not change for you....

Besides, to her, you are the problem, not her...

I would end it now, before things get worse. Because they will.... It's not the kid that would bug me, that I can deal with. The deal breaker here for me is the mom.....She has got to go!!

[Mandy_Jane]

So, thought I'd give a little update to my crazy day. I finally had this dcb lay down for nap at around 3:00 because he was getting overly cranky and I KNEW he needed a nap, at least for a little while. So, the SECOND I brought him in the nap room it started. " MY SHOES!!! MY SHOES!!!" He had gone for 4 hours with no mention of the shoes (which are hidden), and then BAM! All out meltdown over the darn shoes! So I told him we DO NOT wear our shoes to bed and he could not have them. Then I didn't mention them again. He bawled and screamed for a good 20 minutes. I had to tell him SEVERAL times in a very firm voice that he had to lay down at least for a little bit for quiet time and then he could get up. He finally drifted off to sleep, whimpering till the last second. So, he ended up sleeping for about an hour and a half and just woke up a bit ago. Of course he started right where he left off as soon as he awoke. Crying hysterically for no apparent reason. I just want to pull my hair out. I'm telling his mom tonight that this is just not going to work.