Am I Overreacting? So Mad

[Unregistered]

We have a 4 yr old dcg who has a hard time going to sleep at nap time because her parents let her sleep in and don't bring her until around 10:00 usually. We have nap at 12:30. When she's awake at nap time, she keeps everyone else awake too, by talking or getting up and waking them up, or something, so she has to go to sleep (It's the only time to clean up from breakfast, snack, lunch, disinfect, sweep, mop, etc).She's full time and they are supposed to pay whether or not she's here, but we never know when she'll actually show up. If she doesn't come they don't call to let us know she won't be, or why. Well, I think they're testing us since we gave out the new contracts and policies. We asked that they not pick-up or drop-off during preschool or nap time. They drop off right in the middle of preschool anyway most of the time, but since the owner hasnt said anything, I haven't either. Well today had already been horrible, the children not listening, scratching, fighting, pushing, etc. I'd had it. Well, I had all the nap cots out, and was trying to get the children to settle down and get on their cots (They were running around the room, and stepping on the cots and all). Guess who walks in the door? Yep, 12:45 and in walks 4 yr old dcg and her dad. I couldn't believe he'd do that!. I told him politely (but firmly, I thought) "We're just about to lay down for nap. I don't know what she's going to do." He had already informed me that she slept in late and wouldn't be tired, which is why she's late! So he told me, I thought rather rudely, "She can do a puzzle or look at a book." Then the owner looked in and saw who was there and said the same thing as me. He replied to HER the same way he had me. First off, she can't be awake at nap time as I just mentioned above, 2nd if she could do it once and stay up, there's no way she'd lay down and go to sleep again. 3rd, if the other children saw (and there's no way they wouldn't) how would you explain to them that she gets to stay up and play, but not them?
This just frustrated me SOOO much. And guess what time the dad picked her up? RIGHT after nap! Why would he drop her off just for nap time and nothing else?! If he had to go somewhere and do something, why couldn't he have just explained that to us when we commented that we were getting ready for nap? He could have been polite and apologized and explained why he'd drop off so late (besides just telling us she slept in really late and that's why she's late). ARRGH! Am I just over-reacting after an already rough day, or am I right to be so mad over this? In the middle of nap time, the dcg kept getting off her cot and making noise. I told her to lay down several times. Finally, she informed me, "I don't have to." oooh boy. I think I know where she gets her attitude!

[Crystal]

Provide them with the policies again. Have them initial each policy and then sign and date it at the bottom. Along with that, provide them with a letter stating that effective immediately all policies will be fully enforced and if policies are not adhered too, it will be cause for termination. You (and the owner) have allowed it to happen too many times, which is why they are pushing it with you. If you don't enforce policies, they will not be respected.

[tymaboy]

If she will not nap for you then you can tell the parents that she has out grown your program & give them 2 weeks notice.

[newtoeverything]

I would do the above and put her in a pack in play. That way she isn't running around and all the other kids can maybe nap...if she doesn't fuss the whole time.

[Unregistered]

I would do the above and put her in a pack in play. That way she isn't running around and all the other kids can maybe nap...if she doesn't fuss the whole time.

She's 4 yrs old, though, and not a small 4. I can't imagine putting her in a pack n play, but I know when we still had them set up all the children liked to get inside of them, no matter how many times we told them they not to and got after them for it. So knowing her, she'd like that a little too much! haha, but we have already sent the pack n plays home since everyone is old enough for cots now. Maybe I'll try moving her cot to the other room. At least I could keep a better eye on her. Only problem is she'd probably talk too much. Every two seconds a loud, "when's nap time over?"

I don't think this bothers the owner as much as it does me. I'm her assistant, and wouldn't want to overstep my bounds and tell the parents that they have to be here by a certain time and all, if the owner isn't too bothered by it. I just have this thing that I believe rules are made to be FOLLOWED. If someone doesn't follow the rule, it really irritates me. I'm so used to being in a position (before this job) where I was the main person, in charge of making sure parents pay, have picked child up by closing, basically the main enforcer of rules. So in this position of assistant, I'm afraid I'd be over stepping my bounds. As the main daycare owners at your daycare, would you feel okay about your assistant stepping up and enforcing things like that?

[Unregistered]

I forgot to mention, we just now re-did the policies back in January or February. They had to initial that they read them (I'm not sure if this family returned it yet, though, since the owner takes care of that). Also, dcg will usually go to sleep eventually, but she wakes up after just a little while, and then gets up and starts making noise. So she takes a nap (that is, with the exception of yesterday when the dad dropped her off at nap time), just doesn't sleep as long as the others. Sometimes she wakes up within 10 minutes after the last child goes to sleep.
Thanks for the replies. Like it was mentioned, we allow it to happen too often, and the first thing I should probably do is ask the owner if this family has returned their signed contract yet. If they have, but ignore it, should I talk to the owner and see if I could remind them when they bring her late, since I'm the one in the room doing preschool when they drop the child off? (the owner is in the playroom, which is right next to the preschool room/entrance, with the rest of the children, so even though she can see when someone comes in, I'm the one the parent sees first). like I said in my last post, I'm used to enforcing rules with parents, and don't have a problem with it most of the time. BUT like I said, I'm the assistant at this daycare, not the owner.

[kiddieshack]

I have quiet activities for children who do not want to sleep. I have a 4 year old daughter and I would be angry if she was in a daycare where the provider put her in a pack n play. My daughter doesn't nap anymore but she will lay down and quietly read books, or draw in her sketch book usually not the whole rest time, but I can get some of my stuff done in the hour that she will. With regards to drop offs, parents aren't allowed to drop off or pick up during rest time. When parents register their children into my daycare, I have them fill out their work schedule and the times that they would like for drop off and pick up. I don't have an open door "come and go as you please" policy. We stick to a schedule. So drop off is always at the same time and pick up is always at the same time. I don't take children who's parents work a schedule that changes day to day..that just doesn't work for me and my family. I like to know what time kids will be there in the morning and what time they will be gone so I can plan my family time around that. I also have a policy that if you just don't show up for daycare at your regular time and never call, don't think I'll open the door for you later. Parents have never done that to me. But I can't say it never will .

[MarinaVanessa]

I take children who's parent's work retail and restaurant schedules that change day to day and even I don't let them get away with dropping off whenever they want. People that work are given a schedule at least two-weeks before they have to work, even in retail, and that's when I expect to have them too. Two-weeks ahead. I don't care if you call me, text me, e-mail me or give it to me in person. If I don't have that schedule in time I make preparations and call my drop-ins and offer availability. It's in my contract.

Seems to me that your real problem isn't with the dcd, it's with the owner. After-all, if she doesn't enforce the rules then she's allowing the problem to happen. I think you should discuss the issue with her. Let her know that it's disruptful and that it's stressing you out. Offer to switch with her a few times when she's dropped off during those times so that she can see first-hand what happens. You watch the play-room, she watches the nappers and the little -i-dont-have-to girl.

[Unregistered]

I take children who's parent's work retail and restaurant schedules that change day to day and even I don't let them get away with dropping off whenever they want. People that work are given a schedule at least two-weeks before they have to work, even in retail, and that's when I expect to have them too. Two-weeks ahead. I don't care if you call me, text me, e-mail me or give it to me in person. If I don't have that schedule in time I make preparations and call my drop-ins and offer availability. It's in my contract.

Seems to me that your real problem isn't with the dcd, it's with the owner. After-all, if she doesn't enforce the rules then she's allowing the problem to happen. I think you should discuss the issue with her. Let her know that it's disruptful and that it's stressing you out. Offer to switch with her a few times when she's dropped off during those times so that she can see first-hand what happens. You watch the play-room, she watches the nappers and the little -i-dont-have-to girl.

Thanks for the reply Marina Vanessa. Good idea I do want to mention that I don't blame the owner so much because she's not usually the one right there when they walk in. In my post, I meant I'm teaching preschool in the front room/entance, so she's watching the children in the playroom. She isn't in the same room as the entrance, and we can't plan for a switch ahead of time because we never know when dcg is coming (as in what day AND what time), although she's contracted for everyday.
I did talk to the owner and let her know how much it bothers me when people don't follow the rules/policies, plus she told me she's going to check and see exactly who has and has not signed the updated policies and contract. If this family has not, she'll talk to them and remind them; and also check their contracted drop-off and pick-up, and ask them to follow it. I'm going to keep reminding her to do this, because it really irritates me that they think they can do what they want. No wonder this dcg thinks she can do what she wants!
Someone mentioned having quiet activities for her if she wakes up early. That's a good suggestion if the child will actually do it quietly, but this dcg thinks it's time to wake everyone up if she's allowed a quiet activity or book. And she just won't be quiet (or stay on her cot), no matter how many times I tell her she has to. With the way we're set up, there's no where else for her except the playroom, which is right next to the preschool room where they nap. The doorway is the size of a double door (but without a door) so any sound goes right into the next room. If myself and the owner are both there at nap time, we have to whisper while we clean. Did I mention we're licensed for 16? If a child wakes up early and then wakes the others (who just went to sleep), it's a big deal