How Do I Politely Handle Food Issue....

[meganlavonnesmommy]

I had a new family start on Monday. 2 year old girl, only child, and parents are very very picky about everything. Asked a TON Of questions at interview, even asked about how we conduct our fire drills. :-)

I follow USDA guidelines very strictly, and only do 2 sweets per week. We usually do a donut/muffin/cinnamon roll on friday mornings for breakfast, and cookies on Friday afternoons. The rest of the week is strictly no sweets. I plan very healthy snacks and meals, lots of fruits, cheese, yogurt, etc. I also do a protein with each breakfast, even though USDA does not require it, because I think kids need a protein in the morning, especially my schoolagers.

Today we had chocolate donuts, bananas, yogurt and milk for breakfast. When Mom dropped off at the start of breakfast she said "oh, we dont let her have chocolate". So at pick up she asked if she ate her breakfast, and I said yes, and she went on about how they dont let her have sweets often, and she never gets candy of any kind, and only has cookies once or twice a month. She said on Monday she would bring me a "list" of the things they dont want her to eat. She said her "treats" are usually fruits or vegetable breads like zucchini or carrot.

How do I politely tell her to pack sand? I understand the importance of healthy eating, and I try hard to plan and make meals that offer lots of fresh fruits and veggies. I only offer two sweets per week, but I refuse to change my menu plan because of one child, and I shouldnt have to. I also dont want to feed her child something different. My menu is my menu, and I dont do substitutions.

So how do I approach this?

[Cat Herder]

Do you have a waiting list?

If so, use it. If not, I'd recommend getting another ad up.

"I am sorry hun. I did not realize that my program would not work for you based on your enrolling ****. Good thing we figured this out so quick, transitions can be hard on little ones. I just need to know her last day so I can let another family know when they can start."

I don't see this getting any better for you. Just a hunch.

(I serve Pizza (home-made) on Fridays and have blowout parties for Holidays. They get their nutrition, but I also want them to have happy childhood memories here. Plus it is fun for me. )

[Heidi]

Ja,

I would basically tell her what you told us. You really can't even tell her that if she want to send something else for her dg, she can, because the little tike probably wont want a whole grain carrot muffin if everyone else is having donuts.

Would anyone notice if you skipped the donuts on Friday mornings and did something healthier? Then you can tell her "we have cookies for Friday pm snack, if you don't want dg to have them, you can always pick her up early".....

[nannyde]

I wouldn't have a problem with it. I would just give her kid toast instead of the donut.

If this is the "icing on the cake" from their pickiness then that's another matter. Usually when parents are super picky it's actually a controlling issue and an attention thing for the parents. They want one to one care so they picky about their care which will lead to more one to one time for their group pay.

I think it's cool if they don't want treats. We have too many parents doing a lot of treats. What usually happens with it tho is that they don't want YOU to give them treats......... they want to do it on their time. There are some people that really don't want their kid eating sweets.

No biggie to me. If they extended it to start telling you the regular food she should have and how much and how often THEN that would be a problem. Just keeping out the two treats you do a week should be a breeze.

[Cat Herder]

If this is the "icing on the cake" from their pickiness then that's another matter. Usually when parents are super picky it's actually a controlling issue and an attention thing for the parents. They want one to one care so they picky about their care which will lead to more one to one time for their group pay..

That was what I thought. I had a "Screamer-Princess" flashback. ::::

I understood it to read that OP had already gone over every detail during the interview process and the parent was NOW (on day 5 of care) bringing her lists of what she wants done differently JUST for her DD.

It is possible I read it wrong...::

[daycare]

I have to agree with cat. I am learning that we cant please everyone and if they don't like it when they start, there really is not much we can do. We cant change our whole program to please one family. We can't make them all happy and we need to stand firm to our ways. If you give into this, soon it will be something else. And so on and so on....

I honestly don't serve any form of sweet at all, except holidays. Pizza every other month and chicken nuggets every other month too.

The only reason I don't do sweets is more than half of my kids are already hyper and they won't let me brush their teeth. SO no sugar...sorry charlie....

[momma2girls]

I once had a parent that was very picky as well. Needless to say, it didn't work out. She wanted the baby to sleep out here in the swing, the entire time he was in my daycare. She didn't want him away from me at anytime- WHATEVER!!!!!
I would never let anyone tell me what to do, when to do it, etc. I have before in the past, and it is ridiculous and keeps getting worse and worse.
I have sweets maybe twice a month, excluding Holidays.
No one is going to tell me what I can serve and what I can't serve to the children. As long as the child, doesn't have an allergy of some sort, they eat what I make them, or they go hungry.

[countrymom]

I serve sweets her (like a cookie for a treat) and serve more fruit and veg and cheese. The funny thing is, the kids will eat their cookies faster than anything but when it comes to the good stuff they take forever, so i started investigating, sure enough most of the kids junk all day this explained why they were so slow eating the healthy stuff. I will guarentee you that this does eat sweet stuff, but mom wants her to eat healthy at your house, so she can feel better, how much you want to bet.

[countrymom]

these are the same kind of people who tell you that their kids don't eat mcdonalds and don't watch tv

[cheerfuldom]

If this is the only thing they are picky about....do you have menu plan in advance you can offer. Print it out, they can cross stuff off the menu and you can alter the meal accordingly. I wouldn't have a problem doing that but only if they were not carrying this pickiness into every area of the daycare. You could also write out the menu each morning on white board or something so mom is aware of what you are serving. I would not let the mom have more control over anyone else besides her daughter though. She cannot tell you what to cook, what to serve and not serve to the other kids, etc.

[AfterSchoolMom]

If you're going to give her a menu to cross items off of, I'd even go one further and have her bring her child's food herself on the days when she isn't happy with what you're serving.

I bet the complaints would stop pretty quickly after that.

[JenNJ]

If this is the only issue, I would have mm provide her food -- ALL of her food. And she would need to explain to her daughter why her food is different.

[Former Teacher]

If you're going to give her a menu to cross items off of, I'd even go one further and have her bring her child's food herself on the days when she isn't happy with what you're serving.

I bet the complaints would stop pretty quickly after that.

I TOTALLY agree. We once had a child years ago at my former center whose mother didn't want her food to be salted

So our director said she needed to provide ALL meals (2 snacks and a lunch) regardless of what we were serving. We were NOT going to prepare a special meal for one child.

Needless to say, that didn't last more than a few days ::

[meganlavonnesmommy]

I cant let mom bring her own food. Our licensing rules state that parents can not bring food from home unless the child has a food allergy, and then they need a letter from their dr.

I do my menu a week in advance, and it is posted so she can see it every Monday. I also send home a daily sheet that has written on it what they are served.

I dont mind the girl eating something else, I just dont want to change my menu plan, or deal with the other kids questions about why she gets something different. Then they all want something different. Our rules are always everyone gets the same thing, either you eat it or you dont.

I guess I could make berry or fruit muffins, instead of chocolate chip. But then I know two of the other kids that wouldnt eat them, and I like being able to let them have a treat once a week.

NOt sure how controlling she is of other things, so far they have been respectful, but its only been 5 days. She is also temporary, they are only using me for care until her spot opens up at a local center. So I dont want to bend over backwards to please her, but that spot also sat empty for 2 months, so I hate to lose her, temporary or not.

I guess I'll see on Monday what her "list" of foods she cant have is, and go from there.

Thanks for the help.

[cheerfuldom]

well I wasn't saying to let mom change the menu, just cross of any "no" foods and her daughter have less for the day, not different. I was thinking that might work if the issues were just the occasional treats. keep us updated.