Nanny-D....It Works

[godiva83]

I agree with all in this situation... Of course, kids deserve respect. And I tend to use, "You need" statements or choices like you can either sit in the blue chair or the red. I agree when safety is a concern you need to get your message out ASAP and less words works.

My kids are all under 2 so thankfully I have yet to expierience the talking back or the 'but whys'
I use simple directions that my kids understand but always offer a reason or a choice. I want them to realize why I am asking, or that they can make appropriate choices. I don't talk to my children the same way I would talk to a dog!

However, I do see everyone's points and opinions on why it works- who knows I might be down to one worded statements or commands when the kids start testing my method or talking back ) but for now my kiddos are amazing

[Childminder]

I'm not certain if this was brought up in this thread but children only hear a couple of words in a statement. For instance if you say, "Jay, no running in the house!" They hear running and house and they think you gave permission to run in the house. If you say, "Walk" that is what they will do. "Sky, put the paper in the garbage." Sky will hear and repeat "garbage?"

In ECE classes we were told that the average child at 9mo is capable of learning and doing the same commands as a full grown dog. Ie; sit, stay, lay down, heel, no, come, etc... all one or two words commands. We were taught to speak to them in phrases not long sentences. One instructor said to remember the movie where Tom Cruise comes in and gives Rene Zelwegers character a long drawn out explanation and she replies "You had me at Hello." One word.

[godiva83]

I'm not certain if this was brought up in this thread but children only hear a couple of words in a statement. For instance if you say, "Jay, no running in the house!" They hear running and house and they think you gave permission to run in the house. If you say, "Walk" that is what they will do. "Sky, put the paper in the garbage." Sky will hear and repeat "garbage?"

In ECE classes we were told that the average child at 9mo is capable of learning and doing the same commands as a full grown dog. Ie; sit, stay, lay down, heel, no, come, etc... all one or two words commands. We were taught to speak to them in phrases not long sentences. One instructor said to remember the movie where Tom Cruise comes in and gives Rene Zelwegers character a long drawn out explanation and she replies "You had me at Hello." One word.

That is very interesting... And I do see how it makes sense. However, I was taught while taking my degree in ECE very opposite. We were taught to give directional statements, reasoning, and true choices this was 2002 though and I really haven't taken any classes in child development since 2005- maybe something I should think about
Anyway, sorry to stray from the OP, I am glad the advice Nan gave you worked it's magic for you - life is so much easier when your day at work goes smoothly

[dave4him]

Sit
Sit
good girl

[DaisyMamma]

I'm not certain if this was brought up in this thread but children only hear a couple of words in a statement. For instance if you say, "Jay, no running in the house!" They hear running and house and they think you gave permission to run in the house. If you say, "Walk" that is what they will do. "Sky, put the paper in the garbage." Sky will hear and repeat "garbage?"

Yes, it's true.

[Michelle]

We always say, "sit please" and "thank you" when they do.
We are teaching our kids manners in addition to obeying us.
When we ask if they would like another cracker etc. they are to say, "yes please" or "no thank you".... not "yea or "no"
They learn from a very early age because we talk to them with respect and we get respect back.

These are short enough words that get the point across without the feeling that you are training a dog

[nannyde]

We always say, "sit please" and "thank you" when they do.
We are teaching our kids manners in addition to obeying us.
When we ask if they would like another cracker etc. they are to say, "yes please" or "no thank you".... not "yea or "no"
They learn from a very early age because we talk to them with respect and we get respect back.

These are short enough words that get the point across without the feeling that you are training a dog

I'm not against the using please and thank you in addition to the words you use to send the message that you want them to do something or obey. I don't think it's necessary though to be polite or show respect to the child.

If you are telling a child to sit because that's where they need to be safe or be to do something the group is they aren't doing YOU a favor or going out of their way for YOU. Asking them to please do something implies to me that you are giving them the power to choose to do it OR that there doing so is a gift or extra for you.

When I tell them to sit, shush, come, etc.... I'm telling them that because they MUST. I don't appreciate it. I expect it.

Now if I need a Kleenex and I can't reach it without gettin off my fat rear end and I ask the oldest kid to please go get it for me........ well that's a gift to ME. THEN I would say "Little Missy would you please grab me a Kleenex?" When she gets it for me then I say "thankyouverymuchyoulittle-stink-bot"

When I need her to stand at the front of the line I'm not asking please and I'm not saying thanks. I am the adult and there are times when I just say what I want them to do and they just do it. It doesn't have a thing to do with respect or polite. I'm not in the business of teaching polite at those times and I am not considering child RESPECT when I do that.

Words are powerful and they are not left unnoticed by this generation of little humans. I think we need to choose them wisely and without equivocation.