KDG With Potty Accidents

[gelbesonn]

I have this afterschool kid. He is with my M-F, turns 6 this month and is still having #1 and 2 accidents at my house. It also has been a bit of a problem at school. His parents pack him extra clothes (most of the time, unless he uses them up at school). I've reminded him to go potty, and also simply told him it's time to go potty (especially if we are going outside). FWIW- I think he shows signs of ADd/ADHD (I think it's starting to be addressed at school, as he has major focusing issues)
When he has a poo accident it's especially bad as he does NOT focus at all and does not know how to wipe very well (I refuse to do it, but instead coach him through it). The process inevitably results in a mess in my bathroom, even if I am right there with him. (Today was poop on my floor, the other time he leaned against my walls and vanity and got mess everywhere.)

Does anyone have any advise?? I am running out of ideas. His parents seem to say it's a something he'll grow out of sort of thing.

[daycare]

I had to deal with this awhile back with a 5 year old.

I asked the parents to talk to their family doctor about it and when they wouldnt I said well then I can't continue to care for him.

I would request that the parents take him to the doctor to rule out any medical issues.
Have them get noted by the doctor that there is or is NOT anything wrong.
Start there.....

[nannyde]

I would NOT get involved in this at all. You need to make the arrangement with the parents that they come immediately to clean him up. He can clean himself with a pee accident but if he poops he needs to have a place to sit until they come and get him.

They need to understand that he is WAY too old for you to be doing such an intimate level of care. It's inappropriate for you to see him naked much less be involved in cleaning him. They need to come PICK HIM UP and take him to a private place to clean him and that place is NOT your home or bathroom. THEY need to be the ones teaching him to clean himself up. ONLY THEM.

If he has a special need then THEY need to be the ones to work directly with him to do the special training he needs to clean himself up.

They also need to sign and agreement with you that they will provide the money to have professional cleaning done for any carpet or fiber that he has soiled. You need to come to an agreement of WHAT company to call and that they will pay for an immediate service call for the cleaning.

He doesn't have a diagnosis. You are NOT required to provide diapering service for a child that is not diagnosed with a special need. Thinking he may have special needs does not a special needs child make.

I'm wondering if he has really been potty trained? Is he new to you?

[gelbesonn]

Nannyde- He is new to me this year. He started with me in Sept when school started. I'm not sure if he has an IEP. I know the parents had a meeting with the teachers at school last month regarding some of his behavior (the accidents as part of it). He did go to a reputable daycare before he started school, so I'm wondering if they dealt with this as well (not that I can really find out from anyone there though).

He IS able to hold it. And he does recognize the need to go. There have been times when he stops what he is doing and announces that he needs to go. Thankfully the accidents are not every day. On a few good weeks he didn't have any accidents. On not so good weeks, he's had them a few times a week. He's only with me for ~2hrs/day.

Normally I wouldn't stand in the bathroom while he changes, but he just would not stay focused enough to simply change his pants. bah!

[Country Kids]

Actually was talking to a teacher friend of mine. She was telling me they have a few kindergardners and first graders that still have to wear pull-ups or still having accidents due to not being potty trained. Seriously, and there is nothing wrong with these children. The school legally cannot deny these children so the aides in the classroom have to change the child or help them to change!

I find it ironic that daycares can say a child cannot come here if they aren't potty trained by the schools can't! I wonder if they legally could start denying children that aren't potty trained and supposebly have behavorial problems how many parents would be forced to address these problems and the problems would magically disapper?

[Unregistered]

My son had some troubles like this in kindergarten as well and when we checked with the doctor, he said in boys it is normal and they grow out of it with some bladder training. We had to do some intensive water drinking so he got lots of practice and he had to practice starting and stopping the flow when he used the bathroom. He was potty trained at 3, but when he got to school, the teacher would make the kids hold it for so long that his bladder got stretched out. After a talk with her, he was allowed to use the restroom as often as needed and with the practice at home, it did finally go away. It took us a good 6 months though. I would definitely have the parents take him to a doctor, but don't be surprised if it continues for a while. If it's like what my son went through, it requires the parents to stay on top of it for it to go away.

As for the poop issue...that may be a little rebellion going on....or could have a little to do with the bladder issue...definitely recommend a doctor visit.

[mac60]

Only with you 2 hours a day and still having accidents. He would be wearing a pullup here, 6 is too old to be on potty patrol, and if he is doing this in a 2 hour time frame, regardless of what the reason is, I would never allow a 6 yr old to poo and pee his pants here without protection....hence a pull up.

[laundrymom]

I think to save you're sanity I would require him to toilet at arrival. Then if he has an accident require parents to pickup. Explain to parents that you aren't equipped to change a school aged child after soiling. I would send him in to poop every 30 min. This could be something to do with anxiety over rushing at school? Good luck.