backbone is not as strong for each family

[MsMe]

Does anyone else have a hard time using their 'backbone' on families they have had since before they had one?

I have a few families I learned my lessons from the hard way, they are still here and for the most part good families, but they do take advatage of things I didn't know better of. Now that I do all families that have started since know not to ask or I am able to say no (because I have never let them before) but those families that I used to let switch days, ect I still can't say no to. :confused:

[Cat Herder]

I am the opposite.

The longer they have been here the less tolerant of Adult Issues I am.

They are not "misunderstanding" at that point. They are manipulating.

[MsMe]

I am the opposite.

The longer they have been here the less tolerant of Adult Issues I am.

They are not "misunderstanding" at that point. They are manipulating.

oh for sure.

One of my main examples is a family that is part time and years ago I let her switch her days (Holidays and when they had family events) I changed this policy a few years ago, and sent out letters, I do NOT let new part time families change days without extra fees.

I just have such a hard time telling her no because I used to let her do it, it seems to happen 4-5 times a year. I liken it to not raising rates on current families.

I know she is doing it on purpose bc the to times I have sent out reminder letters she has paid extra and then goes back to just telling me the days she will switch.

It is completely my fault for allowing it to happen and I feel like I am 'picking my battles' but I have families for a LONG time and those that are 'grandfathered' in are wearing me down

[Cat Herder]

Ah...now I see what you are saying.

It is more about keeping your word from the original agreement.

You feel in some way that even though she agreed to the change, you should still meet her halfway?

I do that too. Keeping my word means alot to me.

Adapting 4-5 times a year, without costing me income or putting me at risk for going over ratio IS something I'd most likely do, too.

It is chronic "abuse" that raises my shackles.

[MsMe]

Ah...now I see what you are saying.

It is more about keeping your word from the original agreement.

You feel in some way that even though she agreed to the change, you should still meet her halfway?

I do that too. Keeping my word means alot to me.

Adapting 4-5 times a year, without costing me income or putting me at risk for going over ratio IS something I'd most likely do, too.

It is chronic "abuse" that raises my shackles.

this exactly! even though by 'backbone' is strong now, and I have many new policies in place that save me headaches and akward conversations with parents I still have about 30% of my orginal families from 7 years ago (they had more babies and have not aged out like the other org families). I am still dealing with some of the frustrating issues of daycare that I learned who to solve when I learned I DO NOT have to bend over backward for every family no matter what.

[MarinaVanessa]

Yes, I've had that problem before with the very first family that I ever had. This one DCM apparently thought that because she had gotten specialized one on one care for her son when I forst started that I would be able to continue that once I had more clients.

The only advice that I can give you is to put your foot down but put it down with a smile on your face and turn it around into a positive thing when you must say no. I find that not actually telling them what not to do, but telling them what they can do helps. They're a lot like children.

"Hey Susan, I'm going to need you to park on the street when you come by. The other parents are having trouble picking up their own kids because of the length of time you stay and the driveway is meant for quick stops. Thanks." And then quickly turn around and busy yourself.

Make it nice, quick, to the point and don't give them the opportunity to make it into a negotiation or argument. Don't say please (they can take it as you being too nice to listen to) and don't ask them to do/not do something, tell them.

For example (an issue that I had):
"Can I ask you to not stay for a long time in the driveway" can quickly register to them as it is a suggestion and not taken seriously (it happened to me). Asking them to do/not do something is also giving them the option to decline. "a long time" to them can mean longer than 15 minutes when "a long time" for you means more than 5 minutes.

"I need you to not park on the driveway unless you keep your pick-ups and drop-offs under 5 minutes." is you telling them what they MUST do without giving them the option to say no and then give them specific instructions as to what you expect.