Hello My Name Is Msme And I Am Not Superwomen

[misspollywog]

Oh, MsMe, you deserve way better than this. Really you do! It is obvious you are a kind person who, because of your kindness, becomes a doormat for those in your life. My dh is the same way and I've had to teach him how to not let people take advantage of him but it's soooo hard because he is soooo nice and genuinely loves everyone (to his detriment).

Nothing to add to the already great advice here, just wanted to tell you that you deserve better for yourself and as someone else already stated, life is too darn short so stick up for yourself and don't feel at all bad for it.

Sometimes it is OK to put ourselves first!

[nannyde]

Yes.

Has there ever been a time when you took a significant amount of time off and she did what you are doing now?

Does she feel that you owe her to do this? Did she make it possible financially for you to have your half or has done way more than you and she wants you to now pay her back for that?

Can you think of a reason she feels you owe this to her?

[MsMe]

Has there ever been a time when you took a significant amount of time off and she did what you are doing now?

Does she feel that you owe her to do this? Did she make it possible financially for you to have your half or has done way more than you and she wants you to now pay her back for that?

Can you think of a reason she feels you owe this to her?

No. Unless you count the five days I took off for a broken elbow. I worked T and W with it broken *even attened CPR class that night. I was off TH for surgery and Friday still in the hospital. I was told to stay home the next week but by W she was calling me to tell me she had other things to do and I needed to be back to work TH and F.

She started this daycare with a friend that only lasted a few months and then we saw her true colors. I quit my accounting job to help her keep it open. She has never treated me as an equal, but accourding to the paper work I am.

You can read my Vent (1st page 2nd to last.) I posted logged out...but I am sure now everyone sees that I am the poster.

[nannyde]

No. Unless you count the five days I took off for a broken elbow. I worked T and W with it broken *even attened CPR class that night. I was off TH for surgery and Friday still in the hospital. I was told to stay home the next week but by W she was calling me to tell me she had other things to do and I needed to be back to work TH and F.

She started this daycare with a friend that only lasted a few months and then we saw her true colors. I quit my accounting job to help her keep it open. She has never treated me as an equal, but accourding to the paper work I am.

You can read my Vent (1st page 2nd to last.) I posted logged out...but I am sure now everyone sees that I am the poster.

How long did you guys actually do it side by side as equals in time and money?

[MsMe]

How long did you guys actually do it side by side as equals in time and money?

After her first few months with the 1st partner we have never been equals in time. She has always come in late and left early. Her reason for this was that she had a family at home to take care of. 2 boys 14-17 and a husband. This also includes days home when here boys are sick. not much for the older one but my little brother is sick A LOT. She is also off anytime our numbers allowed. It has gotten progressivley more over they years.

We have always split the money 50/50 bc that is what the tax man says we have to do.

We have been open 7 years.....I have been here all but the first three months.

[Unregistered]

How is she getting paid? I wouldn't care what the "tax man" says.You don't show up,you don't get paid.It's as simple as that! Don't pay her another dime.Either hire someone to replace her or do it by yourself and it may be worth it.What exactly makes her a partner? Did you purchase a property together or just work together.You should consider opening your own daycare or keep running this one HANG IN THERE

[MsMe]

How is she getting paid? I wouldn't care what the "tax man" says.You don't show up,you don't get paid.It's as simple as that! Don't pay her another dime.Either hire someone to replace her or do it by yourself and it may be worth it.What exactly makes her a partner? Did you purchase a property together or just work together.You should consider opening your own daycare or keep running this one HANG IN THERE

We both own the property, file taxes as a partnership, and are reg with thte state as co providers.

The real kicker is that I found out yesterday from our mediator (not a professional--a friend that has agreed to moderate per my request) that she does not concider us equal (her being more).

[Blackcat31]

We both own the property, file taxes as a partnership, and are reg with thte state as co providers.

The real kicker is that I found out yesterday from our mediator (not a professional--a friend that has agreed to moderate per my request) that she does not concider us equal (her being more).

That is probably because she started the business (with a different partner) and because she is making the rules and you are following them.....

I do NOT mean that disrespectfully, I was just saying that is probably why she thinks that way.

I think you need to talk to a lawyer and have some sort of agreement put in writing about duties, selling or whatever things need to get figured out. She seems to simply be waiting for you to make the first move and I'll bet you she is banking on the fact that she believes you aren't going to do it.

I would also consider going to licensing and talking with them about her lack of "on-site" time which in my state would stop her from being re-licensed.

[MarinaVanessa]

We have always split the money 50/50 bc that is what the tax man says we have to do.

I hate to say it but your "tax man" is right. I know that she doesn't put in her fair share of the work or time but if you are partners then it's 50/50 unless your partnership agreement says otherwise. That's why when you go into partnerships in a business with someone you should have all of the duties, hours and responsibilities spelled out.

I know of a DC where a provider wanted to expand but didn't have the money so she went into a partnership with someone that has absolutely nothing to do with the DC. She never steps foot into it other than to pick up her check and occasionally check on it to see that it's being run properly. BUT that was their arrangement and that's what the partnership agreement says. The DC provider only wanted someones $ and wanted to keep full creative control of the DC and the partner only wanted to give and collect $ and check in occasionally.

[MsMe]

I hate to say it but your "tax man" is right. I know that she doesn't put in her fair share of the work or time but if you are partners then it's 50/50 unless your partnership agreement says otherwise. That's why when you go into partnerships in a business with someone you should have all of the duties, hours and responsibilities spelled out.

I know of a DC where a provider wanted to expand but didn't have the money so she went into a partnership with someone that has absolutely nothing to do with the DC. She never steps foot into it other than to pick up her check and occasionally check on it to see that it's being run properly. BUT that was their arrangement and that's what the partnership agreement says. The DC provider only wanted someones $ and wanted to keep full creative control of the DC and the partner only wanted to give and collect $ and check in occasionally.

I know it has to be 50/50 that is why it has always been that way......

and what hurts a lot is even if she doesn't think of me as half....I have still been paying half of the taxes and household mant. for the last 7 years. Either I am half or stop giving me half of the responsiblity but not the credit!~

so