Hello My Name Is Msme And I Am Not Superwomen

[MsMe]

Hello my name is Ms Me.......and I am not Superwomen.

I have been super stressed then the last few months bc I have been going 100 miles a minute and being everything to everyone.

-I have taken over 100% of my two provider daycare (hopefully only for a few more weeks) for the last two months with no thank you or extra compensation.

-I have taken on many more sewing and baking projects and favors for others that I have nearly no free time and my hobbies are now chores

- I attend night classes and homework is picking up

- I am recovering from a broken elbow and can't take time off to go to PT and am terrified that I will be perminatly stuck witha 35 degree loss of motion.

-I am FULL all day everyday (not so much a complaint bc the money is needed...I had to drop numbers to be by myself) but 8 full time is pushing my limits. They see how busy I am and are taking advantage of my weakness

-I am planning to move in with my boyfriend and talks of marriage and family are heating up. I am looking forward to the next stage of my life but at teh same time it will turn my whole life upside down and adds stress on top of my already unstable work future.

all of this wth out letting on to a single person (DCP or personal life) that I am startign to slip under teh current. My Mother lived this way for 40 years and near her 40th birthday she cracked.......she is a completly differnt person now *not in a good way. I don't want to end up like her, suffering in silence untill I go off the deep end.

So here I am.....admitting that I am need a little help, to slow down a bit, turn a few requests down, and chill out a little.

Anyone else out there not a super women or am I alone?

[sahm2three]

I have a red cape, does that count? I don't like to ask for help, and want to be able to take care of each and every task/problem/etc that comes before me. And because of this, I am cracking. I cry almost every evening. I dread the mornings, because I just have to do it all over again. I have some AWFULLY HARD kids. I have 2 screamers that scream all day long. I have 4 toddler boys and one toddler girl who are hell on wheels. I have 2 babies who are great babies, but are babies and require a lot of attention. Then i have my own family to take care of. I have a tween girl with a reading disability, who I have to fight for at the school. I have a 10 year old son who has ADD I am pretty sure, and is struggling in school and I am trying to help him naturally before I even consider putting him on any kind of med, and then I have my preschooler who HATES the daycare, and just wants mommy all to myself. And a DH who travels quite a bit, and when he is here isn't checked in a lot of the time. I need a "me" vacation. Sorry to go off like that. I need to just start saying "no" and asking for help!

[Blackcat31]

Ya know I was thinking about your post(s) and the whole situation you have with your 2nd provider not pulling her weight is what is getting me all riled up. You cannot be expected to do the work of two and only get paid for one. Uh huh, NO WAY!!

I would look to hire another provider (even if only on a temp basis) and tell your 2nd provider that until she can start performing her duties HER paycheck will be going to the provider (you hire) that IS performing the duties.

I get that she is having some issues right now, but just because there is blood involved does not mean she can take advantage of you. If this were any other employer, she would have been told No work=No pay a long time ago. It just breaks my heart that you are being taken advantage of just because you are related.

I also agree with what you said about needing to simplify things and perhaps enroll a few kids who aren't coming or going at all different times of the day. I like Nan's policy of
one drop off and
one pick up
per child
per day.

Hang in there! Hopefully things will get better for you soon.

[nannyde]

Ya know I was thinking about your post(s) and the whole situation you have with your 2nd provider not pulling her weight is what is getting me all riled up. You cannot be expected to do the work of two and only get paid for one. Uh huh, NO WAY!!

I would look to hire another provider (even if only on a temp basis) and tell your 2nd provider that until she can start performing her duties HER paycheck will be going to the provider (you hire) that IS performing the duties.

I get that she is having some issues right now, but just because there is blood involved does not mean she can take advantage of you. If this were any other employer, she would have been told No work=No pay a long time ago. It just breaks my heart that you are being taken advantage of just because you are related.

I also agree with what you said about needing to simplify things and perhaps enroll a few kids who aren't coming or going at all different times of the day. I like Nan's policy of
one drop off and
one pick up
per child
per day.

Hang in there! Hopefully things will get better for you soon.

I also include
One arrival and one departure per PARENT. I do this so if they parent comes to drop in and "visit" they know they must take the child with them. I don't do two sets of arrivals and departures for PARENT either. (exception would be for specialty doc appointments or picking up a sib for a doc appt.)

[MsMe]

Ya know I was thinking about your post(s) and the whole situation you have with your 2nd provider not pulling her weight is what is getting me all riled up. You cannot be expected to do the work of two and only get paid for one. Uh huh, NO WAY!!

I would look to hire another provider (even if only on a temp basis) and tell your 2nd provider that until she can start performing her duties HER paycheck will be going to the provider (you hire) that IS performing the duties.

I get that she is having some issues right now, but just because there is blood involved does not mean she can take advantage of you. If this were any other employer, she would have been told No work=No pay a long time ago. It just breaks my heart that you are being taken advantage of just because you are related.

I also agree with what you said about needing to simplify things and perhaps enroll a few kids who aren't coming or going at all different times of the day. I like Nan's policy of
one drop off and
one pick up
per child
per day.

Hang in there! Hopefully things will get better for you soon.

Thank you. It has been rough. It is getting worse now that I have thought more about all that she has taken advatage of.

I am sad when I think about it, stressed when I am working, and angry when I talk about it. This is nt who I 'am' I am normally happy and a very 'on the bright side' kind of person. This experiance has really brought me downa nd i don't like it. I have made all of the arrangements to close....but she refuses to talk or even see them. I told her Monday to pick a day for us tto sit down. Today she had her friend call em to tell me she is not feelign up to it and we wont talk this week.

I can not just walk away (half of everything has my name on it), I am at a complete loss for what to do next.

[nannyde]

Thank you. It has been rough. It is getting worse now that I have thought more about all that she has taken advatage of.

I am sad when I think about it, stressed when I am working, and angry when I talk about it. This is nt who I 'am' I am normally happy and a very 'on the bright side' kind of person. This experiance has really brought me downa nd i don't like it. I have made all of the arrangements to close....but she refuses to talk or even see them. I told her Monday to pick a day for us tto sit down. Today she had her friend call em to tell me she is not feelign up to it and we wont talk this week.

I can not just walk away (half of everything has my name on it), I am at a complete loss for what to do next.

Ms

You have to just tell her that you are willing to loose everything over this and you are going to shut the center down by such and such date regardless of whether it ruins you financially or not.

She's calling your bluff. She KNOWS you will keep doing this so that the worst thing: You loosing everything and going into financial ruin... doesn't happen.

You HAVE to tell her that that is not the worst thing that could happen and that you are willing to have it happen.

She's getting half of the money and doing none of the work. She's NOT going to have any discussion with you that will change that. It's a really really good deal for her.

So if you have to ... send her a certified letter or have her served... do whatever you have to do to let her know that you are shutting down by X day.

Would you feel better if you had full ownership and was getting all the money?

[Blackcat31]

Ms

You have to just tell her that you are willing to loose everything over this and you are going to shut the center down by such and such date regardless of whether it ruins you financially or not.

She's calling your bluff. She KNOWS you will keep doing this so that the worst thing: You loosing everything and going into financial ruin... doesn't happen.

You HAVE to tell her that that is not the worst thing that could happen and that you are willing to have it happen.

She's getting half of the money and doing none of the work. She's NOT going to have any discussion with you that will change that. It's a really really good deal for her.

So if you have to ... send her a certified letter or have her served... do whatever you have to do to let her know that you are shutting down by X day.

Would you feel better if you had full ownership and was getting all the money?

What Nan said. Plus, the only other option for you would be just to keep doing what you are doing and you cannot do that. Not physically, not fiancially and NOT emotionally.

I would also not worry about how this will ruin your relationship with your partner. It has already been ruined by the way she is treating you and I personally would not want any part of a relationship that is so one sided (all about her needs) and so toxic. Do what YOU need to do for YOU!!!!

We aren't able to offer you much more than other viewpoints, advice and support but we will surely continue doing that so you know you are not alone in this.

[dave4him]

I am not superwoman!

[MsMe]

Ms

You have to just tell her that you are willing to loose everything over this and you are going to shut the center down by such and such date regardless of whether it ruins you financially or not.

She's calling your bluff. She KNOWS you will keep doing this so that the worst thing: You loosing everything and going into financial ruin... doesn't happen.

You HAVE to tell her that that is not the worst thing that could happen and that you are willing to have it happen.

She's getting half of the money and doing none of the work. She's NOT going to have any discussion with you that will change that. It's a really really good deal for her.

So if you have to ... send her a certified letter or have her served... do whatever you have to do to let her know that you are shutting down by X day.

Would you feel better if you had full ownership and was getting all the money?

I am willing to shut down even if it ruins me. The thing stopping me it that she is half and has to sign the papers too.

I have the paper work to sell sitting under my keyboard as I type, its been there for six weeks.

I agreed two weeks ago to a compormise that would keep us open and her back to work....she has since refused to speak to me. I do want to make sure I have tried everything to make it work...she is my Mother and I don't want to be the bad guy (even if she is acting like one, I am bigger than that) I am losing hope that this option will even get a shot bc I am not willing to wait another month to 'try' it.

to answer your last question...Yes it would make me feel better because then I could sell and move on with out the need to consult anyone. I don't want this all to myself I want it GONE.

I actually decided today that a letter would be my next option and I talked with a lawyer friend today to confirm that if nessicary I could legaly end tehpartnership.

[nannyde]

I am willing to shut down even if it ruins me. The thing stopping me it that she is half and has to sign the papers too.

I have the paper work to sell sitting under my keyboard as I type, its been there for six weeks.

I agreed two weeks ago to a compormise that would keep us open and her back to work....she has since refused to speak to me. I do want to make sure I have tried everything to make it work...she is my Mother and I don't want to be the bad guy (even if she is acting like one, I am bigger than that) I am losing hope that this option will even get a shot bc I am not willing to wait another month to 'try' it.

to answer your last question...Yes it would make me feel better because then I could sell and move on with out the need to consult anyone. I don't want this all to myself I want it GONE.

I actually decided today that a letter would be my next option and I talked with a lawyer friend today to confirm that if nessicary I could legaly end tehpartnership.

Honey she doesn't have to agree for you to stop showing up to work. You let her know that by X day you are going to stop going into the business. PERIOD.

You have to be willing to do whatever it is that she knows you won't. I don't know what that is but whatever it is.. she has you by the gnads. Figure out what she believes you won't do and let her know you will. Even if that means you have to sever relationships with her for some time.

[Unregistered]

I am willing to shut down even if it ruins me. The thing stopping me it that she is half and has to sign the papers too.

I have the paper work to sell sitting under my keyboard as I type, its been there for six weeks.

I agreed two weeks ago to a compormise that would keep us open and her back to work....she has since refused to speak to me. I do want to make sure I have tried everything to make it work...she is my Mother and I don't want to be the bad guy (even if she is acting like one, I am bigger than that) I am losing hope that this option will even get a shot bc I am not willing to wait another month to 'try' it.

to answer your last question...Yes it would make me feel better because then I could sell and move on with out the need to consult anyone. I don't want this all to myself I want it GONE.

I actually decided today that a letter would be my next option and I talked with a lawyer friend today to confirm that if nessicary I could legaly end tehpartnership.

You have been working along side your mother for two weeks, working with children and not talking? What was the compromise?

My advice to you is.... and take it for what is is worth. You have one life to live, live it to the fullest and if your not happy, you are the only one that can change that.

Stop- do something nice for just yourself. Make and take the time. New perspective can change attitudes and when we take care of us, it helps us to be better at caring for others. Baby steps to get you to a place you want to be~ Hang in there

[MsMe]

You have been working along side your mother for two weeks, working with children and not talking? What was the compromise?

My advice to you is.... and take it for what is is worth. You have one life to live, live it to the fullest and if your not happy, you are the only one that can change that.

Stop- do something nice for just yourself. Make and take the time. New perspective can change attitudes and when we take care of us, it helps us to be better at caring for others. Baby steps to get you to a place you want to be~ Hang in there

No she has not been back to work. The compromise is soemthing that would have us working alone each taking time off.

[nannyde]

You have been working along side your mother for two weeks, working with children and not talking? What was the compromise?

From what I'm understanding:

The mom isn't coming INTO work.

She doesn't want to talk about it because she is able to get half the money and half the ownership and not do any of the work. Any talking is going to either mean she has to work or she has to loose the money.

Am I right Me?

[MsMe]

What Nan said. Plus, the only other option for you would be just to keep doing what you are doing and you cannot do that. Not physically, not fiancially and NOT emotionally.

I would also not worry about how this will ruin your relationship with your partner. It has already been ruined by the way she is treating you and I personally would not want any part of a relationship that is so one sided (all about her needs) and so toxic. Do what YOU need to do for YOU!!!!

We aren't able to offer you much more than other viewpoints, advice and support but we will surely continue doing that so you know you are not alone in this.

thank you for this....I need a place where I feel heard and understood...bc I am not getting that IRL. thank you

[MsMe]

From what I'm understanding:

The mom isn't coming INTO work.

She doesn't want to talk about it because she is able to get half the money and half the ownership and not do any of the work. Any talking is going to either mean she has to work or she has to loose the money.

Am I right Me?

Yes.