Can I Scream??

**daycare** · 10-18-2011, 04:51 PM

is it written in your policies that you will have these days off paid..

BTW I am right there with you. I feel like I have done nothing but move mountains for my families just to get kicked in the face by some of them.

**wahmof3** · 10-18-2011, 05:19 PM

policy reads:

"In the rare event that I would need to close because I am sick or for a personal day, I will notify you as soon as I can. If I am not available for care, with the exception of holidays, the caretaker will not be charged. In the event that one of my children are sick and can be isolated from the child care children, I will remain open, if you choose not to bring your child for that day, you will still be responsible for full payment.

Holidays that do not fall during my unpaid vacation time, will be paid.

It is always a good idea to have a backup plan in the event that the child care is closed. It is the responsibility of the caretaker to find and finance alternate care when child care is closed."

Since this isnt a "national holiday" yes I just burnt myself. I just assumed she didnt need me and now I have to deduct the day off her fee. It just upsets me. I really hate surprises

**cheerfuldom** · 10-18-2011, 06:01 PM

I know you are upset but it sounds that the mom is in the right. The only thing you can do is communicate better beforehand and alter your contract for the future if necessary. I know daycare is really challenging. It is always a learning process. Perhaps your expectations are too high for yourself and the families. Just judging for this one situation, it is just a small thing that happened and only one day you are having to credit one family for (right?) so maybe focusing on "going with the flow" and not expecting everything to be so perfect all the time would be a good mantra for you. It is impossible to plan for everything with so many kids and families and needs in the mix.

**wahmof3** · 10-18-2011, 06:23 PM

Originally posted by cheerfuldom

I know you are upset but it sounds that the mom is in the right. The only thing you can do is communicate better beforehand and alter your contract for the future if necessary. I know daycare is really challenging. It is always a learning process. Perhaps your expectations are too high for yourself and the families. Just judging for this one situation, it is just a small thing that happened and only one day you are having to credit one family for (right?) so maybe focusing on "going with the flow" and not expecting everything to be so perfect all the time would be a good mantra for you. It is impossible to plan for everything with so many kids and families and needs in the mix.

I do agree and like I said I will not charge her. But had I not said anything she wouldve brought dcc friday morning & what a mess that wouldve been. I dont think my expectations are high, more like my backbone is weak. If that makes sense. I have let this family "walk" all over my policies. There have been many issues that I let them take advantage of me, so this icing the cake. It is a 2 way street. Its just frustrating.

Thanks for the advice. I am working on go with the flow.

**Mandy_Jane** · 10-19-2011, 01:57 AM

If you really think she "planned it" then go ahead and tell her you will watch her kids on that day and reschedule your appointments. Then when she doesn't actually show up, you will know it was just for a discount. If that IS the case, that is something I would be mad enough to term over. I don't like parents who lie. However, you really should never assume that you are going to be kid free on a day you are scheduled to be open for business unless you can afford to take a loss when you find out someone needs you after all.

By the way, just because school is out does not necessarily mean a teacher won't be required to work. They have a few in-service days a year where they do have to show up. And if I was that mom and TRULY did need child care on that day, I would be pissed that you assumed I wouldn't need you and you just totally inconvenienced me by making me have to find alternate care on a day that should have been covered. You need to try to look at it from both perspectives. And don't plan appointments unless you have confirmed with each family that they will not be needing your care on that day. If you do it the way you just did, you are always going to set yourself up for a loss.

**Meyou** · 10-19-2011, 02:26 AM

If you're being paid for a non-holiday day that you just happen to have off due to scheduling you really aren't "off" IMO. You just don't have any children that day and it's a bonus. It's a bummer to have your plans ruined but in this case the parent is right IMO.

I end up with 1-2 Mondays off per month due to scheduling and although I get annoyed when I have to work a monday for 1 child I don't have any other choice because technically it's not an day off for me. I ALWAYS assume I might get a last minute phone call and always assume I'm working even if there isn't any children scheduled. I'm not "off" for the day until after 9am.

In your situation I would look at my schedule for a day "off" and then tell the parents you need to schedule some appointments. You were thinking of XX day because you don't have any children scheduled due to the school holiday. Confirm weeks ahead of time that they don't need care and that you are indeed "off" that day. THEN make your appointments.

Remind them the week before and the week of too.

I do this frequently and never have a problem. My dd has a ballet audition on Friday that she needs to be picked up from mid-morning. I told parents about it weeks ago even though it didn't affect drop off or pick up times. I had one family ask to add a day Friday and I reminded them of dd's audition. The family immediately said not to worry and could Nanny drop of DCK right before lunch instead. All good, no conflict, no surprises and we worked out the details in seconds. It could have been a nightmare since I should be here and available from 730 am on.

**wahmof3** · 10-19-2011, 04:41 AM

I understand what all of you are saying

I wouldve never assumed she didnt need me if she hadnt said "I follow the school calendar and I am off when school is closed"

So when she was telling me dck has a dr appt on thursday & he will get shots and her dr advises to give dck tylenol for 24 hours after the shots. I said by Monday he should be good & she said that she works friday.

So going back to when dcm said when school is closed she is off, I went ahead & scheduled my stuff rather than shutting down for a day when all my dcp's needed to be at work. Thought I was doing a good thing here- I guess not.

I guess bottom line there is a communication gap. I will not charge her for Friday. On a positive note, its a darn good thing I questioned her need for Friday bc it couldve been bad.

**Cat Herder** · 10-19-2011, 04:42 AM

Originally posted by wahmof3

"Use The Three Choices of Life as a tool to resolve conflicts with parents

•Choice One: I am happy. I can live with the way things are going now.
•Choice Two: I am not happy. What will make me happy?
Tell parents that they must follow your rules or you will terminate them.
•Choice Three: I quit. I am not happy and I can’t get parents to follow my rules.
It is too stressful to try to terminate the parent so I am going out of business.
There are no other choices in life. It is not acceptable to complain about a problem with parents and yet be unwilling to do something about it. Providers should select a coach who will help them choose one of these three options.

by Tom Copeland"

Love it, Tom!!!

With that said:
I would like to continue my child care business, but constantly feel my parents disrespect my policies & our agreements. Its always something. How do you handle it?
I hope I can get some positive feedback.

Positive: We have all been here and it can be easily resolved.

I handle it by having simple, black and white, policies and enforce them consistently.

I make my schedule for the year and expect to work every day of it. If on a given day no child is here by 10am.... I was granted a day off; Never happens.

I have had many, many 9:58 arrivals after a "rough morning at home", on Mom's day off, when she "suddenly remembers" something she needed to do.

I don't resent it because I am being paid and expect to work. It is just a matter of perspective for me, I did get an extra 2 hours to read my newspaper.

(typically bank holidays and snow days)

I enforce my policies every time because experience has taught me that when I bend to a request, it is then viewed as part of the expected service for everyone, for no extra pay.

When I see a need for extra, I generally offer it myself (when it does not effect my family time) BUT ask for something in return. "I understand you are late for work alot, I know you thought my hours would work for you, but clearly they are not

. I'd like to let you drop off 10 minutes earlier on school days and won't charge you more if you bring a gallon of milk on Mondays."

I use the "free kitten" line of thinking... If they have to pay (or invest) a little they tend to appreciate it more and to put more effort into it.

I choose to ask for tangible supplies instead of money because when I do I usually get more than I asked and receive it with a smile from them. IME, People resent handing over cash but are very giving of resources, No, I don't know why.

BOTH help me equally.

So, I guess, for me, the simplest way to have stress free relationships with the parents is to:

1. Have clear, concise policies.
2. Enforce them everytime.
3. Offer extra as you please, but have them meet you halfway.
4. Find a way to meet them halfway whenever the opportunity presents itself.
5. If you need a day off, schedule it and expect the same from them.

**BigMama** · 10-19-2011, 08:30 PM

Oh wahmof3 I totally understand! I too only have school district employees as DCPs. I offer them so many perks like school vacations as optional attendance/optional pay (and we have three weeks of school vacation!) and I hold their spots over the summer for FREE...and yet some of the parents will still challenge me on payments. Many of the parents think that they shouldn't have to pay for snow days, for example. It's not my fault it snowed! Yet they feel that even though my policy is full payment regardless of attendance they should get snow days for free. Ugh!

**dave4him** · 10-20-2011, 06:49 PM

To answer the question. Yes you can scream.... preferably not at or near other people though!

**wahmof3** · 10-21-2011, 08:37 AM

Update

I just busted out this family.

They are not working, like I thought all along!!!!

I REALLY want to term- SOOOOO tired of the lies!!

What would you do?

**blueclouds29** · 10-21-2011, 10:28 AM

Its not the parents i can't handle it the kids! LOL, sadly yes, I have 4 boys (1yrs to 2) and my DD who is 2 1/2. This week was really bad with crying, hitting, melt downs, spoildness, and my DD is picking up on all of it and its driving me nuts! I'm also 9 wks prego and i feel i'm getting to worked up at times. I dream off terming everyone and going back to work BUT can't afford daycare for my own kids then. I HEAR YOU GUYS! I'm with you!

**wdmmom** · 10-21-2011, 10:32 AM

I wouldn't ASSUME anything. It sounds a little premature of you to schedule appointments without confirming first.

Now if she told you she had to work and didn't, I'd term just because I despise a liar and she tainted your relationship.

Can I Scream??

Can I Scream??

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