Too Strict?

[gbcc]

I live in NY. I'm sure we all know about NY weather! For the last 2 months my yard was covered with snow. Now the snow is melted and there is nothing but mud outdoors. So my rule is, if you want to play outside you must have boots. I don't want to be responsible for frost bit toes from sneakers and now with the mud I don't want their shoes ruined. My assistants child ALWAYS argues about wanting to go out in sneakers. So today, at 7:30am, with mud everywhere he announced he was playing outside and he was wearing sneakers. I stated that I didn't think it was fair that no one else could go out without boots. My assistant then stated "Well then I'll bring you home with me and you can argue with him all morning."

My first thought was "whose the parent? Why argue if that role is firmly established?" Anyways, after thinking about it all day, I am thinking it's clear that she doesn't agree with my rule. I however, am the one that needs to deal with upset parents because their child is muddy or went to school with wet socks. Nevermind they wont take responsibility for providing boots. So I am thinking who cares if she agrees, it's my business.

So now my question is, Is this too strict? I've always made my son wear boots when it was muddy or snowy out. What are your thoughts?

[emosks]

I do not think you are being too strict...especially with the mud!!

[Persephone]

Your house, your rules.

I agree with you. Parents would be made if they had to wash shoes all the time.

[missnikki]

not at all.

Your house, your business, your rules.

Now I sound harsh, but the fact is she is being paid to provide care for those little guys under your supervision. I would let her know you've been thinking about this all day, and that you would like to be on the same page while the kids are around. Ask her if she would prefer to stay inside with those who do not have boots (including her child.)
I might just post a picture of some boots on the door that goes outside, along with a coat, gloves, whatever. That way, if the child argues, you can point to it and say "If you have all of these things ready, you may go outside." Sometimes the less you say, the less they argue.

[mac60]

If it is that muddy, I definately wouldn't let anyone go outside. Not only does it destroy the yard, but a big mess to deal with.

[Crystal]

I agree with missnikki.

On a side note, I have read previous posts from you re. your assistant's son and them not thinking rules apply to him, and he comes for free. I think you need to let your assistant know that she's not the boss here and that she needs to respect your policies, just as you expect the parents too. Maybe suggesting that she make other childcare arrangements so that he dosn't have to follow your rules will get her in the frame of mind to respect that you are her employer. ::

[gbcc]

Thanks for all the feedback everyone! I just like to make sure that it is not just me with that frame of mind. If it was just me I would be willing to bend. I did feel she underminded my authority when she made the remark about taking me home and letting me argue with him. She is more of a friend to her son then a mom where I make it very clear with my son that I am the boss and you will not disrespect me by arguing. I think that could be were some of the conflict comes in. Her son whines and wins. My son whines and gets grounded!

I really like the idea about the signs. I have magnatic paper. I could print out some pictures and if they see it on the door, it must be worn. I could do sunscreen for summer or bathing suit for water day just so no one thinks I am making a huge deal out of boots.

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

Sounds like the assistant needs to be more consistant and not back down in the discipline area. My oldest and youngest daughter are very hard headed and it gets very exhausting some days, but if you give in, they will run all over you and it sounds like she may give in too much.

I don't think that rule is too much to ask whatsoever..it is extreemly muddy in spots, plus a bunch of wet, slippery snow on the ground yet.

If I were an assistant bringing my children into someone elese's home, including a friends home, I would make very sure they were following the rules..it's just disrespectful not to.

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

SOunds like your assistant needs to be reminded who pays HER bills. Whose name is on the door and Whose ultimately responsible for the kids in your care.... Also,... how many would LOVE to have a job they can bring their kids to. Especially in this economy. I think a meeting is long overdue. This is exactly why I refuse to have an assistant. I would tell her that why HER rules work for Her house,... this is yours. If she has a problem with the rules you have established,.and thinks she cant abide by them.. to let you know and you will post the job at the unemployment office.

[SimpleMom]

I have the same rules and stick to them. I actually request snowpants until the ground is dry again or the weather is much warmer, too.

As providers, we know what goes on in/outdoors and the best possible rules to enforce. You bend once, and you get a million requests to bend the rules again (from children and adults alike).


I'd say stick to your guns. You're right, you don't want the liability of frost bit toes and such. If you let him not wear the boots, the other kids and/or their parents are going to feel they shouldn't have to either.