Mom Has A Problem?

[melissa ann]

Okay, this morning at drop off, I had one dck here. it's movie day and he gets to pick the movie. He was showing me what dvd he had. Okay, my 2nd family shows up. Mom brings all of her daughter's things (blankets, dueffel bag of extra clothes, jacket). She then goes back out on the porch, calls her daughter back out to her. She had a favor to ask her. The girl comes back in with my payment and mom drives away. What the heck?
Girl came in with another costume on. I asked her who she was today and girl told me. Now yesterday, when mom picked up girl. She said oh, you changed out of your costume? Girl said yes. I told mom since it was raining and everything was wet that I said to the girl about changing into regular clothes so her costume wouldn't get dirty. Girl was fine with that. I'm not sure if mom was mad because she was not in her costume or what. This is not the first time the mom handed her dd my payment and not speak to me. I was really furious this morning but waited until now to post until I calmed down. I am thinking of having a termination letter ready at pick up.
Not speaking to me is very rude. She talked to my son, and to other dck but never said a word to me. Again, not the first time that happened.

[kendallina]

Did you greet her in any way?

[daycare]

Okay, this morning at drop off, I had one dck here. it's movie day and he gets to pick the movie. He was showing me what dvd he had. Okay, my 2nd family shows up. Mom brings all of her daughter's things (blankets, dueffel bag of extra clothes, jacket). She then goes back out on the porch, calls her daughter back out to her. She had a favor to ask her. The girl comes back in with my payment and mom drives away. What the heck?
Girl came in with another costume on. I asked her who she was today and girl told me. Now yesterday, when mom picked up girl. She said oh, you changed out of your costume? Girl said yes. I told mom since it was raining and everything was wet that I said to the girl about changing into regular clothes so her costume wouldn't get dirty. Girl was fine with that. I'm not sure if mom was mad because she was not in her costume or what. This is not the first time the mom handed her dd my payment and not speak to me. I was really furious this morning but waited until now to post until I calmed down. I am thinking of having a termination letter ready at pick up.
Not speaking to me is very rude. She talked to my son, and to other dck but never said a word to me. Again, not the first time that happened.

why not just ask her whats wrong... Maybe she just thinks you are super busy and does not want to bother you. I know sounds strange, but it could be something as simple as that and you are just taking it the wrong way.

I would just kill her with kindness and say hey Debbie how are you today, everything going ok? You seemed a little upset about something earlier. Let her answer. If she doesn't then tell her well I am here if you need to talk to me about anything to do withthe kids or if there is a concern you may have. I just miss seeing you smile...

I would not term without a really good reason to

[Cat Herder]

Is it possible that she almost forgot to pay because she was in a hurry, turned back real quick and did not want to interupt you and the boy?

[Blackcat31]

Ok maybe because it is Friday and my mind is on the weekend, but I don't understand what you are angry about? :confused:

The dcm having DD hand you the check? or
DCM's attitude(?) about the girls costume? or
DCM bringing all her DD things up to the house and not talking to you?

[MsMe]

I am chatty with each parent as they come and go and it makes me really uncomfortable when a parents doesn't give me the time of day or is really short with me.

The first time it happend was at pick-up and it was with one of my Moms that is ALWAYS friendly.....I was sick about it all night. Turns out she had had a really terrible day at work and was upset. So now when this Mom has brief drop off or pick ups (it happens every few months) She always mentions rough day sorry (bc she knows I won't get any sleep that night if I think she is angry.

Another time it happend the Mom ended up in the hospital for 4 days she was so sick.

I would ask her tonight what is going on. It may be nothing to do with you at all.

[Unregistered]

I don't see problem

She was probably in a hurry, not really getting the post; except I don't like the parents to give the money to the kids. I find that silly and not very responsible, but what can you do.

I am more offended by the parent that thinks they can stay and sit down, not realizing they are in MY home. I expect them to stay near the entrance, quick exchange and were BOTH off to do our jobs.

[nannyde]

Are you seeing this behavior coincide more with payday?

I would nix the costume deal. If the parent is invested in it it is going to cause problems down the road. It's better for the parent to get one big no then a series of hedged no's.

Have the no convo and get past it.

Tell her she needs to come every day in regular clothes. Stop allowing all the stuff to be brought into the house. Just the kid dressed in regular clothes every day. Don't have kids bring DVD's or anything from home to use there. Spare clothes stay at the day care and are just brought in if the kid soils them or outgrows.

My little girls have princess clothes but they are not fancy costumes and they don't interfere at all with their day to day life here. I can leave them in them all day long.

[mom2many]

Ok maybe because it is Friday and my mind is on the weekend, but I don't understand what you are angry about? :confused:

The dcm having DD hand you the check? or
DCM's attitude(?) about the girls costume? or
DCM bringing all her DD things up to the house and not talking to you?

I'm with Blackcat...I don't understand what the problem is? :confused:
I would ask her when she picks up if she is upset about something. It could be you are reading something into things.

[nannyde]

I'm with Blackcat...I don't understand what the problem is? :confused:
I would ask her when she picks up if she is upset about something. It could be you are reading something into things.

There's most likely a pattern of shunning the provider or being "the boss of" the provider or... "I'm better than you" kind of nonverbal going on. My guess

My guess is that it escalates at pay day because that's the one time when the parent is in the one down position. Once paid... back into the boss of you.

It's VERY common for a parent who is doing "I'm the boss of you..." to not face that exact moment when the money has to be paid. They either have the kid do it or lay it on a table and then turn... some kind of straight avoidance of that exact moment where the provider is in the one up.

Am I close OP?

[melissa ann]

Normally she is chatty. And we will talk about 5 mins at drop off and a little more at pick up. But there has been more than a handful of times where she doesn't say anything. I did say good morning when they walked in. I always talk to the parents regardless of how many kids are present. A few times she even handed my dd the money to give to me while we were all in the same room.

[Zoe]

I wouldn't like that either. If you have a problem with me, say so! It could be an outside factor that is making her less than friendly. I'd just try to bring it up with her just to check. If she really is being the way you suspect, well, then you have confirmation and you can go forward with whatever you decide is best.

[cheerfuldom]

first of all, she needs to hand the money directly to you and not trust a child with it. After that, i would ignore the random snottiness. perhaps she has had a bad morning, perhaps she is doing what nan said, either way, don't let it bother you.

[Cat Herder]

There's most likely a pattern of shunning the provider or being "the boss of" the provider or... "I'm better than you" kind of nonverbal going on. My guess

My guess is that it escalates at pay day because that's the one time when the parent is in the one down position. Once paid... back into the boss of you.

It's VERY common for a parent who is doing "I'm the boss of you..." to not face that exact moment when the money has to be paid. They either have the kid do it or lay it on a table and then turn... some kind of straight avoidance of that exact moment where the provider is in the one up.

Am I close OP?

Awesome insight!!!!

Very interesting.
I have never had that, except with my EX and the CS payment..... NOW that makes perfect sense.

[mom2many]

There's most likely a pattern of shunning the provider or being "the boss of" the provider or... "I'm better than you" kind of nonverbal going on. My guess

My guess is that it escalates at pay day because that's the one time when the parent is in the one down position. Once paid... back into the boss of you.

It's VERY common for a parent who is doing "I'm the boss of you..." to not face that exact moment when the money has to be paid. They either have the kid do it or lay it on a table and then turn... some kind of straight avoidance of that exact moment where the provider is in the one up.

Am I close OP?

I would love to hear what the OP says...I'm just NOT buying this. I have taken many psychology classes and dealt with parents for many. many years and believe that I have a keen insight on human interaction. I may be overly sensitive at times but if nothing else, I am usually able to pickup on negative vibes.

However, that being said, I have NEVER had this feeling when a parent places a check on my desk or if their eager child wants to give it to me! In all of my experience, I have NEVER had a parent act like they were my boss and attempt to play these type of head games! I'm not saying it might not happen...but from my experiences, I'm having a difficult time reading the OP posts and finding this direct correlation as plausible.