Husbands And Your Business And Friends

**laundrymom** · 10-14-2011, 09:52 AM

I DO become casual friends with my families. They go camping, we go to dinner. We do hang out. I don't see a problem. I don't however have them over. This is my HOME. When it's not daycare time and that's just a line I don't feel comfortable crossing. I do feel your husband should respect your feelings though. How would he like to go to his companies presidents house for dinner, if you were her friend from meeting at his work. ?

**daycare** · 10-14-2011, 09:58 AM

To me casual friends just say hi in passing or make small talk when you are out and about town...

These dads are looking to PARTY, like drink beer and wine. Im not a wall flower, I like to have my fun, but I would NEVER do this with any of my clients. Plus we live in a small city...

**laundrymom** · 10-14-2011, 10:03 AM

Originally posted by daycare

To me casual friends just say hi in passing or make small talk when you are out and about town...

These dads are looking to PARTY, like drink beer and wine. Im not a wall flower, I like to have my fun, but I would NEVER do this with any of my clients. Plus we live in a small city...

Why would them seeing you have a drink be harmful? Now dancing naked on a picnic table maybe... But having a nice visit and sharing a drink I don't see the problem. I personally do not drink but I don't begrudge anyone else from drinking. Maybe you could pop in for an hour or so,? And just keep it light and professional ?

**sharlan** · 10-14-2011, 10:05 AM

I have become friends with several clients in the past. My husband, not really as he's really not that social.

With the messes that you have dealt with recently, he should understand the position that it would put you in. I understand where you are coming from, though.

**TBird** · 10-14-2011, 10:08 AM

We're only friends with one of the families. I've had both of their kids FOREVER and the boys are in school, sports & activities together. We don't do dinner or anything like that....just sleepovers, sports & bday parties.

As for everyone else...never gonna happen! Nice people but we're too busy & it's all about the kids & the business. My hubby, who is not ultra sociable, does tend to "kick it" with the dads at the door if he's here at pickup though. Our house is "estrogen heavy" so I think he's trying to **** up as much ************-laden conversation as possible at pickup time.

No worries about him "hanging out" though. It doesn't seem natural or like it's a good idea...your hubby probably shouldn't do it. Wish I had some good ideas...maybe tell him you took a poll and everyone said it's not a good idea???

LOL...I can't believe I can say "estrogen" but the site replaces it's male counterpart with **********....go figure!!!

**kendallina** · 10-14-2011, 10:13 AM

I am friends with a few of my preschool moms (we were friends before I started the preschool) and we hang out and even go out drinking sometimes.

I understand everyone's hesitation with being friends with those you do business with, but I maintain a completely professional relationship when it's about preschool and then can be my 'friend' self when we all hang out together. I just stick to two rules when we're all together : I don't complain about my job...

and I never talk about other parents who are in the preschool. All my friends know and respect these two things and it's not a big deal. I've had to talk to friends about some pretty uncomfortable professional things (kids' bad behavior, pottying habits, etc), and they all respect me more because I can do it professionally.

That being said, if being friends with your daycare clients doesn't work for you, then it doesn't and there is nothing wrong with that. It's too bad that your husband isn't listening to your wishes with that. Would it be possible for him to go without you? Or you could go for just a little bit?

My Dh is friends with some of my preschool dads and he knows to not talk about preschool or things that happen here, so it isn't a big deal for us.

**mom2many** · 10-14-2011, 10:18 AM

It doesn't bother me when my husband becomes friends with the dcds. He plays poker and on occasion several of the dads have come over to play cards with him from time to time. In some cases, I no longer care for their children, but we are still friends.

I have had several of my dcms over to scrapbook at my house on the weekend, played bunko with them, had them over for barbeques and gone camping with them.

In many cases, they are like extended family. We don't socialize with all of the families, but there are some that we've become very close with. It has never caused a problem, but I do understand why and how it could. It's just a risk that I am willing to take. One of my very best friends is a former dcp that I met through watching her daughter as a baby 23 years ago.

I do agree though, that if you are not comfortable with it, then your hubby needs to respect that.

**daycare** · 10-14-2011, 10:27 AM

There have beewn a few dads that he used to go running with and workout with and I dont mind that at all. We even went out to dinner once when a family took us our for our anniversay. It was nice and simple.

I guess I just don't like people knowing too much about my personal life....LOL (its all over the web now...hahah) I am a very un-trusting person and have always looked out for my family.

We live in a very small city that seems to have a rather large bible belt area, which I am none of the religons practiced here.

I just never want to give anyone any amo that they could come back at me with later. AND this is why I want it to be this way

**cheerfuldom** · 10-14-2011, 02:26 PM

I'd keep it professional. I don't go to parties or anything else. I just let parents know (if they really keep pushing for an answer) that I feel it is best to have a friendly business relationship. My husband is friendly with all the dads but not friends, if that makes sense. It just takes one time to really create some drama and something happen that you cannot correct. I would never ever drink or do anything that would "let it all hang out"....you just never know what might offend. I am a daycare provider, not a friend to these families. Some people can keep it cool when mixing friends and business but A LOT of people cannot.

**Cat Herder** · 10-14-2011, 03:14 PM

"Don't Crap where you eat."

Still as valid today as when my Grandad said it to my Dad. :

:

**daycare** · 10-14-2011, 03:32 PM

Originally posted by Catherder

"Don't Crap where you eat."

Still as valid today as when my Grandad said it to my Dad. :

:

catherder, my granny didnt speak english, so I don't know what that says...

**dave4him** · 10-14-2011, 07:51 PM

Friendships build trust! I want to get friends with my clients too, how can i minister to their kids if i dont know them at least on some more personal level...

**daycare** · 10-14-2011, 08:43 PM

Originally posted by dave4him

Friendships build trust! I want to get friends with my clients too, how can i minister to their kids if i dont know them at least on some more personal level...

I agree but would you want your spouse to be hanging out having drinks with them?

**mom2many** · 10-14-2011, 09:13 PM

Originally posted by dave4him

Friendships build trust! I want to get friends with my clients too, how can i minister to their kids if i dont know them at least on some more personal level...

I do agree with this. After 25 years I continue to stand by this and do not waiver. I want the parents to know me on a personal level, because they are trusting me each and every day with something so very precious to them...their child. I also feel its invaluable to know who they are, so we can build a solid relationship. IMHO, childcare is a union between the parent, child and provider and when we know each other on a more personal level trust is built.

Husbands And Your Business And Friends

Husbands And Your Business And Friends

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