Tattling

[caligirl]

It's not like I haven't dealt with tattling in my 26 years of daycare......plus my own kids, but it's been a VERY long time since I had a 'group' of tattle tales.......it only takes one bad one to start the vicious cycle and now I've got 3 full timers who spend their day tattling and 1 part timer.. It doesn't matter if it's during activity time, circle time, free time......nope, they will find SOMETHING to tattle about...... one of the 3 yr old girls stared it and now the other 3 yr old and a 2 yr old (all girls of course) are BIG into tattling..... Oh and the instigator has also taught the girls just this week to whine...........

I've tried everything I know of.....apparently it's not working......


Suggestions???

[familyschoolcare]

Step 1: It is time to teach the difference between tattling and telling. Telling is always welcome, but tattling is not welcome. Telling is when someone shares what someone else is doing that is causing them or a third party harm either physically or emotionally. Tattling is when you share what a friend is doing just because what they are doing is "wrong" and you want them to get into trouble.

Step 2: Every time someone tattle ask how is that hurting anyone and then say you are not telling your tattling. Then move on with the day. Do this for at least one full week before moving on to step 3.

Step 3: Every time someone tattles ask are you tattling or telling. Then lead the child to the correct answer. do this for at least one full week before moving onto step 4.

step 4: Every time someone tattles say you are tattling so let's find something else to do, or when true I know but I can not Handel that until you stop talking to me. (The second response is usually for older children, have that problem often)

[sharlan]

My two 8 yos are pros at tattling on the littles.

I've started saying - do you need me to call an ambulance? No, ok, go play.

[Blackcat31]

Here is a link to a few other threads about tattling: https://www.daycare.com/forum/search...archid=1137511

[SilverSabre25]

Does anyone else occasionally find themselves allowing a behavior or action that would otherwise be unacceptable simply BECAUSE a tattler told you about it?

(I'm talking minor things, like, "Bobby is putting Lego people in the blender!!!")

(yes, we have a rule about people not belonging in the blender)

[Lucy]

Here's what I do. It may not work for you, but it makes ME feel better! LOL

The kid calls my name in that certain tone of voice that makes me think a tattle is coming. I look at them and say "What, Susie?" She says "Bobby won't share" (or whatever) I look back to whatever I was doing and don't give her any more eye contact, and don't say anything. When she doesn't get a response, she sometimes repeats what she says, to which I don't respond, or she just stands there wondering what the heck is wrong with this lady (me) and walks away.

That way I get to determine whether the "tattle" is something I need to deal with or not. And the tattler is, by my silence, not encouraged to do it again.

As I said, it's what I do when the tattling really gets to me, but I'm not saying it's the perfect answer for everyone.

[sharlan]

Yes, I admit it, I do.

He splashed water on me - a few drops from the water table.

He threw dirt on me - a few grains on his feet.

Is that his drink, he's drinking that coffee - uh, yeah, he's drinking some of his grandpa's Starbucks.

[Blackcat31]

Does anyone else occasionally find themselves allowing a behavior or action that would otherwise be unacceptable simply BECAUSE a tattler told you about it?

(I'm talking minor things, like, "Bobby is putting Lego people in the blender!!!")

(yes, we have a rule about people not belonging in the blender)

Oh absolutely!! I have one dcb (age 4) who doesn't function well unless he is the leader, the boss, the one that gets to decide everything and does it all with a whine that makes the best of us cringe.....

When he tattles on some of the little ones for minor things I tell him "Cool~ I bet they are having fun!"

A tiny part of me does it just becuase it makes him kinda mad. and the rest of me does it because I want him to learn his tattling isn't necessary.

[2ndFamilyDC]

I have tried explaining the difference between tatteling and telling, but it falls on deaf ears. Maybe I need to revisit this lesson.

[caligirl]

I've tried ignoring them...glancing up like one suggestion and then turning back away......doesn't work......not with 3 of them constantly at it. The 2 year old just picked it up last week (the tattling)........

Or I'll say to one of the 3 yr olds 'are you tattling?'.......'no'......'oh good, I hope not because I don't like tattling'

[2ndFamilyDC]

I just sat my kids down and asked them if they what tattling was, none of them did. I explained it to them and then explained the difference between telling me something important and tattling on someone else. I am sure they will need reminders for a while.

[nannyde]

The youngest walker in the room is the "go to" guy for all tattling. They ARE the complaint department.

Direct them to go over to the youngest kid and tattle away. The younger kid loves it and the older kid gets their tattle on.

[caligirl]

The youngest walker in the room is the "go to" guy for all tattling. They ARE the complaint department.

Direct them to go over to the youngest kid and tattle away. The younger kid loves it and the older kid gets their tattle on.

Well now that would be funny to hear! I'll give that a try after nap today ::

[2ndFamilyDC]

The youngest walker in the room is the "go to" guy for all tattling. They ARE the complaint department.

Direct them to go over to the youngest kid and tattle away. The younger kid loves it and the older kid gets their tattle on.

oh funny. going to have to try this.

[MissAnn]

It's not like I haven't dealt with tattling in my 26 years of daycare......plus my own kids, but it's been a VERY long time since I had a 'group' of tattle tales.......it only takes one bad one to start the vicious cycle and now I've got 3 full timers who spend their day tattling and 1 part timer.. It doesn't matter if it's during activity time, circle time, free time......nope, they will find SOMETHING to tattle about...... one of the 3 yr old girls stared it and now the other 3 yr old and a 2 yr old (all girls of course) are BIG into tattling..... Oh and the instigator has also taught the girls just this week to whine...........

I've tried everything I know of.....apparently it's not working......


Suggestions???

I will copy and paste the exact note I just sent to parents today about this very subject!

First off, I want to tell you that your kids are having a great day…..lots of teamwork and very little arguing. I keep complimenting on their good job today!

So…..tattling (as you can imagine) is a big deal at this age. This is a “totally tattling” group of kids. So…I wanted to clue you in on what I am doing here. At circle time today I told the kids I switched tattling off. I told them where the switch is (behind my ear). So….I am carrying this to the hilt….and I am having a little fun with it . I told the kids that when they come up to me and tattle it looks like this…..(I show how they tattle but no sound is coming out). They looked at me amazed and a few of them put their hands to the back of their ears….searching for their tattle switch  . A few times kids have come up to me to tattle, and I told them I could not hear. After that…..I am just giving no response. They are starting to give up on tattling.

Don’t think I am not “checking things out” when a kid tattles…….I go observe to make sure. Most things they tattle about are for the sake of wanting to get another kid in trouble. I also have given them tools to handle most situations…..like telling a child to stop, or walk away, or use words instead of hands. When I hear a kid “use their tools” I try to spy in a little to make sure things are going well. I now have two cameras in the playroom that are hooked up to my big screen TV. This is so cool! It also frees the playroom up for extended playtime in there since there are more hours I can supervise with the use of the TV/monitor.

So….if the kids say something about my ears being switched off for tattles…….don’t look at them strange…..just say…..oh yes, I have the same switch! (Only mommies have them!)