Sad

[SandeeAR]

Sorry this happened to you and your family. The following is to show you there IS light at the end of the tunnel. You can come out of this. It usually is not a quick fix, but you will survive!

11 years ago (just at the beginning of the upcoming economy down turn), My DH had worked for Texaco for 30 years. This was the only job he had ever had, straight from college and vietnam. They merged with Shell and shut down his local office. He was 54 at the time, I was 41. We had on DD in her first year of college and one DD a junior in high school.

I was a stay at home mom. I had a craft booth in a craft mall in Branson, MO. (a tourist area 3 hours away) I made pocket money there each month, so no real income. We got a small severence pay. DH also had a small company savings. After 10 months of his job hunting, we took most of the remaining company savings and rolled into my Craft business. We had 27 craft booths in 7 states.

All was doing good, until 9/11 happened, less than 6 months into our craft adventure. We were way too in debt with the Dallas Gift Market and other vendors to survive the down turn in the economy. So at 59 and 46, we filed bankruptcy and gave up the house.

By this time DH had gotten a job, 10 months after losing his. It was for half the previous pay. I also found a job, too. It was TOUGH, but we rented an apt for several years (with our oldest DD and her hubby living with us, while they both finished PT school). The youngest DD was out on her own by then.

Fast forward 6 years. We moved into a nice rental home, I opened the daycare 2 years ago. We are getting back on our feet. However, we will never own another home, by choice. At our ages, it just doesn't make sense. We like that when the air conditioning went out, someone else fixed it. When the dryer went out twice, someone else fixed it. When the stove stopped working, someone else replaced it!

You will recover. It just may take some time. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or I can help in any way.

[Christian Mother]

Take a calm deep breath. Is there any way you can make it on your income? I'm talking get rid of tv phone anything extra. Just paying for basic housing bills. ? Also check into private gap insurance. My dh has been laid off 6 times in our marriage. We only carried cobra when I was preg. We got private INS for $260 a month at other times. It didn't have maternity or well checkbox but er visits and sick visits. Look into that. Check several companies.
Here it became a game of creative cooking. We would try to find new exciting recipies to save money. We learned to hand roll tortillas, we cooked beans from scratch, made due with what we could. This was when I was running at 1/3 capacity. It was then that I decided to make my business as marketable as possible. I became better trained, I got into our levels program. I networked everywhere. I went ( still go) to every training I can offered by my local r&r. I got my face out there to make darned sure they remember me. As a result I run full enrollment, 130$ week with ten enrolled plus food program. It can be done. Now my dh is working skilled trades maintenance( welding, pipefitting, electric, fabbing, etc. ) and just finds another factory every few years when they close or lay off. Take a deep breath. It will work out.

I would just tell your parents. " hey dh was laid off yesterday, he is in ***x field if you hear of anything please let me know. We are trying to keep things the same here with the daycare and everything but you may see him around more often. "

Good luck. I truly mean it.

Thank you Laundrymom!! That is ashually my husbands field also. Yesterday he went to help paint with a gentlemen that did our roof a couple months ago. When this guy has extra work my husband lends a hand and gets paid for it. He is quiet handy so he's been making calls to line up side jobs. I really want him to start looking for a perminate job though. But it is money to help us through. So far what I make wld cover just the mrg. plus an extra $100. It doesn't cover the utilities. We cld def. let go off the tv, phone and internet but I think to start back up is $400. We have cell's. I think we are still in contract with them and I need a way to be able to communicate with my parents not to mention my hubby needs to be able to have a line when looking for a job. Ins. is def. something we have to look into bc I have Hypothyroidism and my son ADHD. With this company he was layed off from they covered full benefits and we also had Gap. He is contacting the lady that works with us to let her know the situation and I think she will be able to inform us some good options. Maybe even what cobra would cost to keep our plan. Food i think will be ok. Our family doesn't eat extensively and my kids could live on Romain noodles and mac and cheese. PB sandwiches...I'm the same. I think what we will have to def. cut back on his take out. We've been bad on that. No more take out or starbucks coffee.

So far I informed one parent to let her know my dh has been layed of and she was wonderful about it. I'll be letting them all know today. I only have 4 families and one of them already knows as my husband has always done side work for him. He owns his own car lot. So my husband will come by after work and weld for him or do some work on cars. That leaves 2 other families.

[Christian Mother]

I'm so sorry. No advice really, we've been pretty broke at times and there are ways to adjust (Laundry's got great ideas) I too wouldn't be quick to get rid of the house-depends on how long you've been there, how much you've got into it financially etc.
I know you already know this, but here are some verses to look up for encouragemant:
I Kiings 17
Psalms 37:25
Jeremiah 29:11
Matthew 6:25-34

Hugs to you as you struggle through this tough time with your husband and family.

Thank you momofsix!! Those verses are what i really need to focus on right now...
I am letting the parents know I am not closing up shop right now just of what is going on so if they see hubby they understand. They've all been with me quiet a while...he's had to go on 3 day work weeks when work was slow. I just wanted to give them the heads up so they can make a decision on there own. This parent said that there was no way she'd be finding another care. That made me feel good. I kind of feel that all my families are like family here...an extension.

[Christian Mother]

Sorry this happened to you and your family. The following is to show you there IS light at the end of the tunnel. You can come out of this. It usually is not a quick fix, but you will survive!

11 years ago (just at the beginning of the upcoming economy down turn), My DH had worked for Texaco for 30 years. This was the only job he had ever had, straight from college and vietnam. They merged with Shell and shut down his local office. He was 54 at the time, I was 41. We had on DD in her first year of college and one DD a junior in high school.

I was a stay at home mom. I had a craft booth in a craft mall in Branson, MO. (a tourist area 3 hours away) I made pocket money there each month, so no real income. We got a small severence pay. DH also had a small company savings. After 10 months of his job hunting, we took most of the remaining company savings and rolled into my Craft business. We had 27 craft booths in 7 states.

All was doing good, until 9/11 happened, less than 6 months into our craft adventure. We were way too in debt with the Dallas Gift Market and other vendors to survive the down turn in the economy. So at 59 and 46, we filed bankruptcy and gave up the house.

By this time DH had gotten a job, 10 months after losing his. It was for half the previous pay. I also found a job, too. It was TOUGH, but we rented an apt for several years (with our oldest DD and her hubby living with us, while they both finished PT school). The youngest DD was out on her own by then.

Fast forward 6 years. We moved into a nice rental home, I opened the daycare 2 years ago. We are getting back on our feet. However, we will never own another home, by choice. At our ages, it just doesn't make sense. We like that when the air conditioning went out, someone else fixed it. When the dryer went out twice, someone else fixed it. When the stove stopped working, someone else replaced it!

You will recover. It just may take some time. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or I can help in any way.

Thank you Sandee and really everyone who has responded!!

I made the choose to be upfront with my daycare parents. I did this bc we've all been together for yrs. and we've always been upfront with one another. We keep everything strictly professional but there is a lot of love I feel for my families and a since of responsibility. I am only allowed 4 kids in my daycare. So far I am maxed. I filled my last slot last week. So I run at full capacity right now. I don't think there is really any way of getting past not telling the parents as 2 parents are sisters which I watch there children and one I've watched for over 2 1/2 yrs expecting her 2nd. She was with me still when my hubby's work went down to 3 day work weeks. I told her last week that we are experiencing some financial diff. right now and had to stop doing the speech therapy she gives my daughter. We do horse training for those services. She takes what I make a wk out of what I owe her. I had already told my son karate (at the church) that last month would be our last month as we cld not afford it anymore. They told me not to worry that they where now going to donations instead of dues. If I could not afford to make a donation they where fine on that. This all happened before my husband got layed off. It's like I felt like I had to start preparing..it was really weird. But I do feel this since of calm...I feel that if I am not making enough I will find a 2nd job. My last child leaves at 4:15pm. If I am not making enough here to keep my kido's then I will need to find a full time job my self. I am going to try and hold on as long as I possibly can. Thank you to all of you for your kind words and thoughts and for keeping me in your prayers!! I really appreciate that!! I do love coming here and talking and getting to know you all and learning...

[Meeko]

Any chance of making childcare your family business? My husband retired from the Air Force and got a job with a local company. He enjoyed it and got several promotions, but they were having lay offs every few weeks it seemed. His job was so uncertain.

Then he got sick and was home for several weeks. While home, we talked about his job, the day care etc.

When it was time for him to go back to work, he went and quit.

We expanded our day care to group and have never looked back. He still helps sometimes, although our son is my main helper now.

Day care doesn't pay megabucks, but it pays the bills. Even if we were to lose a bunch of kids, we would still stay afloat. One thing about day care is that the bottom never falls out of it. Sure it can get slow at times...but child care is ALWAYS needed. So we shall always have at least SOME income coming in.

Also maybe consider taking some swing and night shift kids? Just until you get back on your feet?

Hugs and prayers coming your way...it's a tough position to be in. Hang in there....something good is around the corner!

[mom2many]

So sorry to hear this happened. I can totally relate to what you are going through. My husband worked construction and was laid off many times over the years and it was a financial struggle and difficult for me trying to provide for our family while he was out of work. Fortunately, he was able to find side work to help supplement things, but it was scary and the uncertainty was really hard. Just have faith and trust that it will be okay! Hugs and prayers go out to you!

[grandmom]

Oh Christianmom,

My heart breaks for you. My prayers include you.

Look at a website care.com if you are going to find another job anyway, perhaps you can find something there. I did that earlier this year and have several families who hire me regularly - for way more than I earn at child care, but it's all weekend work while they are out on a date. You've also been given some great advice. Let everything go that is not essential, have a garage sale, whatever you can.

[Christian Mother]

Sorry to bring this thing back up...but I just wanted to thank all of you again with your stories and encouragement!!

To answers some questions: Meeko.. We have thought on it but my husband is the type of guy who is a "Helper" He's always needed somewhere. It's funny but if he has a day off...he really never does. He's up at the crack of dawn fixing this or that for a friend or co worker. That is ashually what is saving us right now. When he called to tell me he was layed off he was on his way to help a friend finish painting a house. The next morning hubby was up at 4:30am worked til 4pm to finish up. Today went to work for one of my daycare families who owns a car lot and the owner has been really ill so he went in to cover for him and finish projects he wasn't able to do. He worked a full day and then took the kids to church where they have karate. A saving grace is that karate is no longer dues ($40) it's donations now and if we can't afford to pay that is ok. I want to keep normalcy for the kids as not to scare them and I want to be able to pay the donation fee of $20 but if I can't then at least I know it is forgiven. I come in 30 min early so I can set up the chairs for the parents...maybe there is something else I can do to help if I can't pay donations.

Momtomany: That is exactly what my husband will be doing while looking for a full time job although he is seriously considering working with one of my daycare families full time as they are looking into health ins. for there employees. That would really solve the worst of my worries but I worry about mixing my biz along side his...but he said he'd be drawing up a contract as a contractor for them. I worry about mixing business with friendship..it doesn't always go well and I don't want to loose a good family but they've been such a God send to us. Torn...

Grandmom: I am on Care.com also and really like that sight. My parents have told me individually that they would follow me where ever we move to. Bless them for there support!! If we file bankruptcy or lose the house then we'd try to our hardest to stay in the same area.

[themoorethemerrier]

You've got such a positive attitude about it - good for you! I am always leaning on 2 Timothy 1:12 because I have a hard time not being a control-freak and having a good attitute.

Praying blessings on your family!

[mom2many]

God always provides and He will take care of you! Fear is part of human nature and is so totally normal, but trust Him and He will bring you through this! I've been there way too many times to count and each time it was never easy and I would have given anything to not have to go through it. However, my faith was strengthened and it definitely makes you re-evaluate what is really important. My kids learned from it too and we grew closer together as a family. Don't ever underestimate God's goodness in the midst of such a difficult trial...I am praying for you and know that it will all work out and you just need to trust in God's sovereignty and not in your own understanding.
Hugs and Prayers!

[Oneluckymom]

So sorry. My prayers are with you and your family. I hope that whatever is best for you and your family will come your way.