Advocacy

[hoopinglady]

I think it is a general consensus that many parents are out of touch with their children. Often they seem to not care or really not have a clue. I try not to judge too harshly being a parent myself but at least in my corner of the world it seems/feels quite prevalent. I really want to believe that we/they all are doing the best that they know how.

Do you do anything to attempt to educate parents? Instead of just spending days correcting, fixing and compensating for these behaviors is there any way to try to reach out to some parents?

PLenty of my parents either try to beat sense or "respect" into their babies or coddle, bribe and whine. I'm more often than not left with a houseful of children with emotional issues.

I'm not suggesting that we can save/change the world. I was just wondering if anyone has any success in really educating a parent and seeing a positive change? We are sort of the experts, after all.

The most I do is try to give gentle advice without offending. Either "this is what I do" or posting links to articles on my facebook page.

Otherwise, I just try to do everything I can to help the children while they are here with me.

[Solandia]

Yes, I am an advocate for my daycare kids when it is needed. When the little one needs an EI appt(early intervention/birth to 3), for communication or feeding issues, or I will write a page for the pedi for the parent to take to the next appt regarding things out of the ordinary that are happening for an extended period of time. Abuse will always be reported.

But actual parenting differences...there is no expert, even the experts don't agree. The dynamics between each child, adult, and parent are so different the same ideal method for me, will completely fail for another.

i have tons of quirky kids, and some super quirky parents, too. In my 10 years of daycare, I have never had a house full of kids with emotional issues, so I can't understand that frustration. I have had my fair share of boys who were completely unable to cope with other daycares, that did just fine with me. That had its challenges.

Catering to a whine-fest, while not my method of dealing with it....isn't necessarily going to create a monster child. I have seen lots of poor parenting, insecure parents with wonderful kids.

I give advice when asked or hinted, and I have a variety of parenting books available. My methods for their kids only work for me...b/c I am not the parent, the dynamic is totally different.

I am not sure exactly what kind of educating of the parents you are referring to...not beating their infant? That would be reported, not a learning module.

CIO vs rocking their child to sleep? Letting the child have a PB&J instead of a meal that they hate? Letting a child tantrum for an hours vs picking them up/calming them down & then addressing the issue? Bedtime routines? Free range parenting for a 5yo? Those are parenting differences, and most(if not all) parents are NOT going to be open to critique unless they are actually asking for advice.

Ignoring their child completely, never making eye contact at pick/drop off, always on the phone? I would advocate for the child & would make a point of straight up telling that parent that Junior needs attention after being away from you all day, in order to feel important to you. Stinky kids with dirty clothes and hair? YEs, I would advocate for the child to be clean. Chronic cough that the parents just think is allergies? I would ensure the parents understood the importance of their child's health. Allowing a 2yo to play outside on the sidewalk unattended? I would talk to the parents about their childs safety.

I guess it depends on the specific issues.

[cheerfuldom]

I really like that idea of writing up something for the ped. for the parents to take to an appt. (provided the parents actually share that info). I bet you get a whole different diagnosis when the ped is getting good insight. the parents almost always sugar coat in hopes their kid is still in the normal range.

[Solandia]

I really like that idea of writing up something for the ped. for the parents to take to an appt. (provided the parents actually share that info). I bet you get a whole different diagnosis when the ped is getting good insight. the parents almost always sugar coat in hopes their kid is still in the normal range.

Precisely. It has worked very well.

Specifically in regards to an infant with silent reflux. First time parents, while concerned, the pedi always said she was normal. I had them take a detailed log of a week's worth of everything -food, spit up amounts, sleep, etc. That helped a ton to get the care baby needed.

Another time was a young toddler who fell all.the.time. Hard. First time parents, insisted he was fine, dr says it is normal for his age...kids fall....I was being alarmist. Well, not for months, multiple times per day, HARD, without trying to stop the fall. It ended up being an ear issue they were monitoring, he left my care before it was completely resolved.

[Unregistered]

advocacy

I wish that I could say that I've been an effective advocate for the children in my care, but the bottom line is that there are a lot of parents that don't want to be made aware of anything negative. Sometimes parents don't want to accept advice from us because they feel that they know their child better than we do. Ego gets in the way.

Eventually, I just started focusing on changing the child instead of changing the parents approaches with their children. Children aren't set in their ways when they are daycare age (for the most part...).