DCM Staying FOREVER At Pickup Time

[MsMe]

I have one DCM that always does it but each one has done it at soem time or another.

At first I didn't mind it...I kinda liked the adult conversation. We NEVER talk about personal issues or other people...just a lot about 'the weather' type stuff or her own children. She is a great daycare parent and I don't want to offend her but I am SOOOOO over her staying for 30 minutes EACH day!!

As we all know the kids act up when others are around and it can also interfere if we are doing an activity.

I KNOW Nannyde would NEVER allow this....so Nanny will just a genteral letter home reviewing this policy and a few others that are beign broken...be enough to make this Mom stop.

I am thinking about closign in December but have decide to give the next two months my everythign and put ALL my policies back in place and get rid of a few things that have been stressing me out to make sure I am still ready to walk aways.

How have any of you addressed the parent that 'hangs out'?

[laundrymom]

I don't mean to be rude Jan because I really enjoy our chats but I'm getting behind on my routine and if I don't keep things on schedule it gets crazy. Can we keep pickups quick for a few weeks and see if I can get my routines down?

[MsMe]

I thought about something like that...but now it is more of DCB saying "Mom 5 more minutes!!!' and not wanting to go. DCM agrees and jsut chats away. Even on the night she tells him 'hurry we have a hair cut to get to' she allows him to play for 15 minutes.

I want to tell teh boy earlier in the day..when Mom comes you can not ask to stay longer, you must go with Mom. He would fore sure tell Mom I told him this and I am positive it would offend her.

For the 7 years I have been open I have allowed things like this to slide, to make parents happy. I wanted to do EVERYTHING I could to make EVERY parent happy. It ruined me.

[bice99]

Have the kiddo ready - shoes on, coat on - waiting at the front door watching for mom. As soon as she gets out of her car, open the door, greet her and then hand off DGB when she gets to the door. Then you can do the little, ya know it's been crazy around here lately and I think quick pick ups are going to help the kids transition better. Thanks so much...

[MsMe]

Have the kiddo ready - shoes on, coat on - waiting at the front door watching for mom. As soon as she gets out of her car, open the door, greet her and then hand off DGB when she gets to the door. Then you can do the little, ya know it's been crazy around here lately and I think quick pick ups are going to help the kids transition better. Thanks so much...

Another great idea exept I never know what tiem this Mother is coming. It varies anywhere from 4 to 5:15. If we are outside playing...yes he is ready, but if we are inside on a cold or rainy day I can't have him dressed and ready to go waiting at the door for an hour.

I have also asked this mother to be om consistant on pick up times, but it has fallen through each time.

Like I said in the OP LOTS OF THINGS around here are going to need to change. A consitant pick up time....just got added to teh list.

[bice99]

Another great idea exept I never know what tiem this Mother is coming. It varies anywhere from 4 to 5:15. If we are outside playing...yes he is ready, but if we are inside on a cold or rainy day I can't have him dressed and ready to go waiting at the door for an hour.

I have also asked this mother to be om consistant on pick up times, but it has fallen through each time.

Like I said in the OP LOTS OF THINGS around here are going to need to change. A consitant pick up time....just got added to teh list.

I run on contracted hours. So Mom might show up earlier than contracted, but I do ask parents to text me and give me a heads up.

[daycare]

try this in your news letter or send it home to parents

Just say, as a freindly reminder:


It is normal for some children to have difficulty separating from parents in the morning or not wanting to leave when it's time to go home. Please be very brief (no more than 5 minutes is sufficient) during these transition times. The longer you prolong the departure the harder it gets, and provider will need to focus on the other children in care. A smile, cheerful good-bye kiss, and a reassuring word that you will be back are all that is needed in the morning. In years of experience, children are nearly always quick to get involved in play or activities as soon as parents are gone. This is also a time of testing when two different authority figures are present (the parent and the provider). All the children will test to see if the rules still apply. During arrivals and departures, parents must back the rules of the daycare (see House Rules). If you do not, provider will remind the child that their behavior is inappropriate and take action to correct, if needed. So please be in control of your child during drop off and pick up times at all times. Please help show your child that you respect the rules of the daycare, as well as the provider by reminding them that the rules still apply whether you are here or not.

[NiNi.R.]

Another great idea exept I never know what tiem this Mother is coming. It varies anywhere from 4 to 5:15. If we are outside playing...yes he is ready, but if we are inside on a cold or rainy day I can't have him dressed and ready to go waiting at the door for an hour.

I have also asked this mother to be om consistant on pick up times, but it has fallen through each time.

Like I said in the OP LOTS OF THINGS around here are going to need to change. A consitant pick up time....just got added to teh list.

I had this problem with a mom. She was my last one to come pick up the kids. It was impossible to ever have them ready and have them tidy up before they went home. I started asking her to call or text when she was on her way so I could have them clean up and be ready to go. She agreed and has followed through and it makes it so much easier.

[Christian Mother]

You should read my post about my dcd who was always liked to hang out around my house whether it was outside or in. Didn't matter and sometimes he was even taking a long call. It got pretty bad. Like you I allowed it for a time bc I like to discuss the childs day or anything that needs to be discussed...which then turns in to a full chat session.

It all came to a head however; when this parent took it upon him self to start disciplining the children and even my oldest. That is when I knew that dcd was here way past pick up time. No one disciplines my littles but me. Well, when he is here he can take charge of his little. But when you read you'll notice dad did not have a back bone to stop his sons tantrums on leaving. I would have to step in and discipline...which is something I don't like to do. Needless to say, I told dcd that no more hanging out. Pick up's need to be quick..and you can bet he was not happy about it. But you have to be firm otherwise the parents won't respect your rules and if they don't then you'll end up having to do what i did..which is term.

[cheerfuldom]

If you are prepared to shut the whole daycare down in two months anyway, why not get super firm on everything and quit messing around. Let the parent know that your new policy is that parents and child must have a quick pickup within 5 minutes. If she can't follow your policy changes, why not just let her go and find someone else who can? especially since all this craziness is making you feel that you might close the daycare anyway? don't apologize or explain. just tell her exactly what you expect. give one firm warning that you will have to consider letting her go if she cannot respect the new changes and then let her go if she really can't. you let all this happen so its up to you to make the change. i would never let a parent hang out for 30 minutes a day.

[wdmmom]

I meet parents at the door with their child ready to go. I also don't allow parents beyond my entry way. This way if a parent wants to chat, I use the excuse of "I need to get the others ready to go too. Bye Johnny. I'll see you tomorrow!"

Or

Once my attention is diverted, I have 1 kid that likes to jump around or toss toys or run. That's my que. "Uh oh. Looks like I'm needed! See you all tomorrow! Have a great night!" and be prepared to use your body weight and your hand on the door as a que that you don't have time for it.

If it's your last kid...have your car outside and your purse on your shoulder. Works every time!

[nannyde]

I have one DCM that always does it but each one has done it at soem time or another.

At first I didn't mind it...I kinda liked the adult conversation. We NEVER talk about personal issues or other people...just a lot about 'the weather' type stuff or her own children. She is a great daycare parent and I don't want to offend her but I am SOOOOO over her staying for 30 minutes EACH day!!

As we all know the kids act up when others are around and it can also interfere if we are doing an activity.

I KNOW Nannyde would NEVER allow this....so Nanny will just a genteral letter home reviewing this policy and a few others that are beign broken...be enough to make this Mom stop.

I am thinking about closign in December but have decide to give the next two months my everythign and put ALL my policies back in place and get rid of a few things that have been stressing me out to make sure I am still ready to walk aways.

How have any of you addressed the parent that 'hangs out'?

I would never allow it.

I would just tell her that you are having many clients staying for long periods at drop off and pick ups. Tell you that you have been adding it up and you are spending over two hours a day JUST doing arrivals and departures. You need to get that down to a half hour TOTAL for all arrivals and departures. You are getting behind in your non child care related tasks and having to do them on famly time. You need to get each arrival and departure down to a couple of minutes each day so that you can get non direct care tasks done so you don't have to do them on your personal time.

I would also include that if we can't get the arrivals and departures shortened you will have to raise rates substantially to cover your time when you are off work.

Do it in a letter to everyone or just her.

[nannyde]

A parent staying that long is purposely trying to stall when they have to get the kid on their clock or get their family life on their clock.

If I have a dwadler I use the phrase "scoot".

Time for me to scoot.. got to make a call.

Time for you to scoot... get your evening started.

Scoot is a nice way to say it.

[laundrymom]

I like the term scoot. I have two families. Dads pick up. They try to chat and I understand why, one chats with me and his wife gets off 40 min after he picks up. He hates going home to an empty house. I just tell child, George, love ya but kicking you and dad out. I have to get the evening going so I can relax after supper tonight. And I open the door.
The other man works in an office of 7 women. He chats with my dh. I tell him, Sam, you can have a playdate with dh another time. It's family time. See you tomorrow Jonah. Take daddy home. I then open the door.

[momma2girls]

Have the kiddo ready - shoes on, coat on - waiting at the front door watching for mom. As soon as she gets out of her car, open the door, greet her and then hand off DGB when she gets to the door. Then you can do the little, ya know it's been crazy around here lately and I think quick pick ups are going to help the kids transition better. Thanks so much...

THis is what I do, and it couldn't work better!!