Term Or Give "Warning"?

[tbutler]

Too many details to bore you with a long story so will just list main issues:

dcb3:
-very low vocabulary, words he does speak are barely understandable
-consistently tells me "no"
-runs around my house falling out (you all know what I mean when I say this)
-just told me no and threw a shoe in the direction of another child
-no eye contact
-all "episodes" seem to happen when he's not getting or doing what he wants; when he's being redirected
-started in my care last Monday; first day so I thought it was normal behavior for a child being left with a total stranger.
-first 3 to 4 days mom had to stay approx 15mins ,after drop off telling him to sit down at the kid table to have breakfast instead of stand on the sides of my chairs at my dining room table
-told mom on Thursday to walk in, sign in, say bye, walk out; no more lingering
-never engages in circle time, music, center time (only when it's something he seems interested in like the car center), he runs out of the room and into other rooms in my house (unable to observe other kids in care if I run after him)
-told mom and grandma that it is not safe how he runs in my home while having tantrums (can hurt himself) and that I can't monitor him or the other children properly if I'm continuously redirecting and/or chasing him.
-late serving lunch today from dealing with his episode. he has had them everyday, except one, since he has been in my care. Just called mom and left a message on her job voicemail, just spoke to grandma who is on her way to pick him up.

This is the verbage from my Policies pertaining to termination:

Termination from TLHCC Program
TLHCC reserves the right to terminate for the following reasons (but not limited to):
•Failure of child to adjust to the child care after a reasonable amount of time
•My inability to meet child’s needs

I reserve the right to give written notice of immediate termination where there are extreme circumstances that affect the well-being of either myself or other children in attendance (with all fees due and payable).


So should I give a two week notice terming with last day on the letter? Give a warning saying that if his behavior doesnt improve by the end of the wee I'll term? Term immediately saying he's a liability with last day being Friday since mom has paid for this week already?

There are many more details to this story, just not sure if they are really pertinent for the main issue of terming

[nannyde]

Too many details to bore you with a long story so will just list main issues:

dcb3:
-very low vocabulary, words he does speak are barely understandable
-consistently tells me "no"
-runs around my house falling out (you all know what I mean when I say this)
-just told me no and threw a shoe in the direction of another child
-no eye contact
-all "episodes" seem to happen when he's not getting or doing what he wants; when he's being redirected
-started in my care last Monday; first day so I thought it was normal behavior for a child being left with a total stranger.
-first 3 to 4 days mom had to stay approx 15mins ,after drop off telling him to sit down at the kid table to have breakfast instead of stand on the sides of my chairs at my dining room table
-told mom on Thursday to walk in, sign in, say bye, walk out; no more lingering
-never engages in circle time, music, center time (only when it's something he seems interested in like the car center), he runs out of the room and into other rooms in my house (unable to observe other kids in care if I run after him)
-told mom and grandma that it is not safe how he runs in my home while having tantrums (can hurt himself) and that I can't monitor him or the other children properly if I'm continuously redirecting and/or chasing him.
-late serving lunch today from dealing with his episode. he has had them everyday, except one, since he has been in my care. Just called mom and left a message on her job voicemail, just spoke to grandma who is on her way to pick him up.

This is the verbage from my Policies pertaining to termination:

Termination from TLHCC Program
TLHCC reserves the right to terminate for the following reasons (but not limited to):
•Failure of child to adjust to the child care after a reasonable amount of time
•My inability to meet child’s needs

I reserve the right to give written notice of immediate termination where there are extreme circumstances that affect the well-being of either myself or other children in attendance (with all fees due and payable).


So should I give a two week notice terming with last day on the letter? Give a warning saying that if his behavior doesnt improve by the end of the wee I'll term? Term immediately saying he's a liability with last day being Friday since mom has paid for this week already?

There are many more details to this story, just not sure if they are really pertinent for he main issue of terming

It sounds like he's dangerous and you have a hard time properly caring for the kids when you are trying to keep him safe.

They KNOW he acts like this. They just need to hear that he can't do that at your house. They HAVE to find him special care. They can't put him in a regular setting with other kids and expect that he will just behave differently.

Give them the gift of terminating him immediately and tell them the truth.

[cheerfuldom]

Do not let him stay any longer. You will be liable when he hurts himself or another child.

[tbutler]

Nannyde I was hoping that you would chime in. Thanks for your response. You're right, they KNOW that he acts that way. Some of the things that they have let slip when I talk to them about his behavior leads me to believe that he may have been kicked out of a center so now they think he needs to be with a "smaller amount of children".

Cheerfuldom you are so right. And I know this is a major safety issue.

Now I'm off to research how to write a termination letter!!!:confused:

[christinaskids]

He almost sounds like he could have a delay. I have one like this but he adjusted after a week. I would term if you feel the group isnt getting good care because of this child or believe he will hurt someone.

[tbutler]

He almost sounds like he could have a delay. I have one like this but he adjusted after a week. I would term if you feel the group isnt getting good care because of this child or believe he will hurt someone.

I agree. I wish he could've adjusted after a week. Lucky you.
A few of the kids have even said "he needs a time out" and "he needs to go to another school". They are all pointing out when he's not listening or following the rules because they know what's exptected of them and him.

[Growing1atime]

Too many details to bore you with a long story so will just list main issues:

dcb3:
-very low vocabulary, words he does speak are barely understandable
-consistently tells me "no"
-runs around my house falling out (you all know what I mean when I say this)
-just told me no and threw a shoe in the direction of another child
-no eye contact

-all "episodes" seem to happen when he's not getting or doing what he wants; when he's being redirected

-first 3 to 4 days mom had to stay approx 15mins ,after drop off telling him to sit down at the kid table to have breakfast instead of stand on the sides of my chairs at my dining room table
-told mom on Thursday to walk in, sign in, say bye, walk out; no more lingering
-never engages in circle time, music, center time (only when it's something he seems interested in like the car center), he runs out of the room and into other rooms in my house (unable to observe other kids in care if I run after him)

These things are not typical behaviors. I have an autistic son and the low vocabulary, eye contact and behaviors immediately made me think of him and how he was BEFORE therapy.

I might be worth mentioning, might not. Many people do not want to see that there is something "different" about their child.

Good luck

[nannyde]

Nannyde I was hoping that you would chime in. Thanks for your response. You're right, they KNOW that he acts that way. Some of the things that they have let slip when I talk to them about his behavior leads me to believe that he may have been kicked out of a center so now they think he needs to be with a "smaller amount of children".

Cheerfuldom you are so right. And I know this is a major safety issue.

Now I'm off to research how to write a termination letter!!!:confused:

Sometimes you end up interviewing and taking kids whose parents are just casting a net to see what sticks. They are trying to find the easiest solution for them at the time. The easiest thing to do with a kid that has behavioral problems is to switch child care and not tell the incoming provider the truth.

They HAVE to learn that that isn't easy. They learn that by having immediate... no notice terminations. So the VALUABLE service you provide is telling them they can't have your service.

Once they get a host of those under their belt THEN they start addressing the truth because THAT is easier than interviewing and finding new child care.

Their best bet to get more than a couple of weeks without having to address his behavior is to find a newbie desperate provider who doesn't have any other kids but her own. That will be their highest liklihood of finding someone who will do it for the money for the longest time.

Putting him in a center or an established home child care with an experienced provider isn't going to work. If they want him to be able to act like that and not deal with it they really need to find someone to do it for the money.