Upset Mother

[JennyBoo]

Hi Everyone,

I am new to the site, and I was excited to find this so I could have like minded people's advice. I was hoping to hear what you all had to say about this situation:

I have been in child care for 7 years now, 5 of which in a licensed daycare and 2 years of providing care in my home. I am sure most of you have contracts, handbooks and papers for all your families to sign right?

Yesterday I had a child vomit on me at the end of the day 2 times, and informed the Mom at pickup, that since my policy is 24 hours symptom free (which she signed) that the child could not return today. This would ensure that if she is contagious that no other child would be in contact with anything as well as me so I could continue to provide excellent care.

I am pretty sure that this is the same policy in any childcare facility, in hopes of keeping everyone else healthy. I think it is just common sense!

The mother ignored me, felt her child's forehead and said "Oh you look okay sweetie, we will see how you are in the morning" (meaning today). The mother kept saying "Oh she has never been sick" and "Well, if she is fine tonight she can come back."

I reminded her about the policy, and that it is the same for every family and that I will not risk anything.

She stood there and said some choice words, and a big "Whatever" in my face. I just kept telling her that this is what I have to insist on. I stayed calm and professional through it all, and when she was walking out the door, I asked her to call me and just let me know how the child was later on and she said "What is the F*****G point when I can't bring her back." very rudely and walked away muttering to herself to the car.

I am just so shocked that she would be like this about her sick daughter and not want to keep her home to get her feeling well. The best part is that she is on Maternity leave right now and is home all day anyway, so the Mom would not even have to call in sick at her work.

I have not heard anything from her today, and it is payday. Any thoughts about whether I should hound her for payment or wait and see if someone comes at the end of the day with it? The families know it is payday every Friday and it is their responsibility to get it here regardless.

I guess what I am asking is your thoughts about this situation, has anyone ever had something similar? Should I talk to her about her rudeness and that I do not deserve it? Would this be grounds for termination is anyone's eyes? What would your next step be?

Any help is appreciated, I ask because this is one situation I have never come across with any family. I just thought that if a child is sick, the Mom would understand and want to do anything to get them well again.

Thanks All So Much!

[Pammie]

<snip>I just thought that if a child is sick, the Mom would understand and want to do anything to get them well again.

Oh my! In a perfect world, maybe? I have/had too many parents that a sick child is simply an inconvenience to their lives

I think that you did the right thing by sticking to your health guidelines - and the admirable thing of maintaining your composure (after being vomited on twice) while dealing with a ranting parent!!

I wouldn't hound them for payment - if Friday at closing is your pay-deadline, I'd give them till then to show up with your payment. I personally never "remind" parents about when my fees are due - they're all adults and know. And depending on your contract, and your feelings about keeping this parent as a client - either enforce your late-fees, or use it as grounds to terminate??

good luck in whatever you decide to do!!
Hugs
Pammie

[momma2girls]

Hi Everyone,

I am new to the site, and I was excited to find this so I could have like minded people's advice. I was hoping to hear what you all had to say about this situation:

I have been in child care for 7 years now, 5 of which in a licensed daycare and 2 years of providing care in my home. I am sure most of you have contracts, handbooks and papers for all your families to sign right?

Yesterday I had a child vomit on me at the end of the day 2 times, and informed the Mom at pickup, that since my policy is 24 hours symptom free (which she signed) that the child could not return today. This would ensure that if she is contagious that no other child would be in contact with anything as well as me so I could continue to provide excellent care.

I am pretty sure that this is the same policy in any childcare facility, in hopes of keeping everyone else healthy. I think it is just common sense!

The mother ignored me, felt her child's forehead and said "Oh you look okay sweetie, we will see how you are in the morning" (meaning today). The mother kept saying "Oh she has never been sick" and "Well, if she is fine tonight she can come back."

I reminded her about the policy, and that it is the same for every family and that I will not risk anything.

She stood there and said some choice words, and a big "Whatever" in my face. I just kept telling her that this is what I have to insist on. I stayed calm and professional through it all, and when she was walking out the door, I asked her to call me and just let me know how the child was later on and she said "What is the F*****G point when I can't bring her back." very rudely and walked away muttering to herself to the car.

I am just so shocked that she would be like this about her sick daughter and not want to keep her home to get her feeling well. The best part is that she is on Maternity leave right now and is home all day anyway, so the Mom would not even have to call in sick at her work.

I have not heard anything from her today, and it is payday. Any thoughts about whether I should hound her for payment or wait and see if someone comes at the end of the day with it? The families know it is payday every Friday and it is their responsibility to get it here regardless.

I guess what I am asking is your thoughts about this situation, has anyone ever had something similar? Should I talk to her about her rudeness and that I do not deserve it? Would this be grounds for termination is anyone's eyes? What would your next step be?

Any help is appreciated, I ask because this is one situation I have never come across with any family. I just thought that if a child is sick, the Mom would understand and want to do anything to get them well again.

Thanks All So Much!

Good luck with this one!! I guess if anyone talked to me in my house and daycare like that, they would be done!!
I changed my payday to Mondays at the start of the week, instead of Fridays about 3 yrs. ago. It is so nice getting paid before the week, in case anything like this happens.

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

wow,.. I cant imagine any of my parents talking like that to me,.. I wouldnt insist payment today, I mean, they know the policy,.. they shouldnt have to be reminded like a 2 yr old going potty. .. but would charge late fees if not paid today. Also,.. after I got paid I would give notice. I would give notice stating something like,..,...

Ms Cursing parent;

Due to the lack of professionalism and respect you displayed upon leaving my home on xx/xx/2010 , provider is terminating contract effective xx/xx/2010. As per contract Ms Cursing Parent is responsible for childcare fees for the termination period whether or not child is brought for care.

Thank you,..

happy provider


I would attach the part of her contract where she agreed to and signed about the term policy. When she confronts you,.. and you kow she will somehow,.. just remind her that you are not someone who can be talked to like that. You demand respect and if she isnt giving it you will get someone from your waiting list who will. Then add something like,.. maybe you should think before cursing like that in front of your provider, about a policy designed to keep children healthy.

[JennyBoo]

Thank you all for your advice and replies. I have been in so many situations in the childcare field, but none of which made me feel so upset and disrespected especially in my own home. I am a Professional giving a professional service and deserve to be treated that way. I was just floored a parent would act this way over their sick child, but again it takes all kinds!

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

I am just amazed at how rude whe was to you! Personally I wouldn't even want her to come back if she has a mouth like that and it's VERY disrepectful to go against your policy...how can a parent do that?

We have a health plan that that our state wrote out for us...I am almost positive it has in there that the child has to be vomit free for 24 hours before they can return..I will have to double check but I'm certain that's how it is....that's the rule for school so I don't think it's any different for us providers. And that is what I tell all my parents, if they are throwing up they have to be done with it for at least 24 hours.

If I had a parent ignore me like that and talk back at me like that, sorry, they are not welcome here. That is just plain rude!! Sounds like by her poor attitude, she might not come back to pay you. I hope she does pay but she doesn't seem to have any respect..you might have to fight for what she owes you or just let her go and be done with it. It really stinks, but I have had a young mom stiff me years ago. Very frustrating. Good luck with it, you are definitely in the right and the mom is in the wrong.

[tenderhearts]

Wow I can't believe how she was acting and in front of her child??? Plus I'm sure if the tables were reveresed she probablly wouldn't want her child around someone who was sick. Here in my state, it is state regulation to call the parent if the child throws up in care and must be free of it for 24 hours before returning (and much more), so if your state has something like that I'd show it to her and tell her that it's not only your policy but it's state regulations. good luck I'd probablly terminate if I could, but I know it's hard to do that especially if you need the money. I don't expect payment if they call in sick but it's due immediatley upon return to daycare.

[ghostlykisses]

I am not sure how calm I would have been in that case. I hate it when people swear in front of kids. I probably would have told her that the way she was speaking to me was rude and her language was not acceptable in a daycare home.

As for payment...well you did say her child was not allowed to come to care the next day. She probably thought she was making a wise butt statement by not showing up with payment. Good times!

[Persephone]

I agree that you done the right thing.

I'm wondering if she showed up with payment today? If not if you have it in you handbook, I'd charge your late fee.

I would be up to you if you want to ask her not to come back. Have you had any other problems with this family?

[JennyBoo]

Persephone - yes the husband actually showed up with the payment at around 9:00 p.m. that evening and I did ask for late fees as it was 4 hours late and I was not even notified that he was coming at that late time. He came the door, and actually threw the cheque to me and said "This is yours" and walked away. It was complete rudeness all over again. This family is always causing me small problems (not bringing diapers on time, picking up late etc) so I will have some major decisions to make this upcoming week. I believe all of us who have a home daycare work very hard and just want to be respected.

[Persephone]

Persephone - yes the husband actually showed up with the payment at around 9:00 p.m. that evening and I did ask for late fees as it was 4 hours late and I was not even notified that he was coming at that late time. He came the door, and actually threw the cheque to me and said "This is yours" and walked away. It was complete rudeness all over again. This family is always causing me small problems (not bringing diapers on time, picking up late etc) so I will have some major decisions to make this upcoming week. I believe all of us who have a home daycare work very hard and just want to be respected.

Wow! I can't believe that he threw it at you! That's totally rude!

[Pammie]

Oh my goodness!!
After being treated horribly by the mom, and being thrown a check at by the dad, they would be terminated immediately! No way they would ever be welcome into my home again!!

[momma2girls]

I totally agree!!! I wonder how this week will go for you with them. Keep us posted!!

[momofboys]

Persephone - yes the husband actually showed up with the payment at around 9:00 p.m. that evening and I did ask for late fees as it was 4 hours late and I was not even notified that he was coming at that late time. He came the door, and actually threw the cheque to me and said "This is yours" and walked away. It was complete rudeness all over again. This family is always causing me small problems (not bringing diapers on time, picking up late etc) so I will have some major decisions to make this upcoming week. I believe all of us who have a home daycare work very hard and just want to be respected.

I'm sorry! What a headache! Seriously, are they in junior high? I'd be tempted to terminate them on the spot for that behavior!

[Daycare Mommy]

Persephone - yes the husband actually showed up with the payment at around 9:00 p.m. that evening and I did ask for late fees as it was 4 hours late and I was not even notified that he was coming at that late time. He came the door, and actually threw the cheque to me and said "This is yours" and walked away. It was complete rudeness all over again. This family is always causing me small problems (not bringing diapers on time, picking up late etc) so I will have some major decisions to make this upcoming week. I believe all of us who have a home daycare work very hard and just want to be respected.

I agree with the other posters. That's total disrespect from both parents when you have done absolutely nothing to either of them. I'd hand them their 2 weeks notice tomorrow morning if it were me. Whatever you are being paid by them can't be enough to have to deal with that nonsense. Here's a quote by another provider in a yahoo group I saved from years ago that sums this up nicely:

"My time, sanity, and personal self-worth are more valuable to me than keeping clients who think they can treat me like dirt..."