Venting Thread

[Janiam]

[QUOTE=DaveArmour;546476] Wow does that bring back a ton of bad memories of a particular center I worked at. Ouch

Was that a REALLY bad attempt at a joke, was she mad at him, or was she just being an a@@clown? Either way totally out of line. I've been there although no one has ever said THAT word to my face. But I've had DCPs, coworkers, and others assume I was gay and tell me how stunned they were when they find out I have a wife and kids. For people who have issues with men in ECE it is a common thought about any guy working in ECE. Pretty lousy logic: guys don't want to work with kids=guys who want to work with kids must not be "real men"= guys who work with kids must be gay. Stupid I know. Strangely enough one of the other big assumptions was that I was just trying to meet women. :confused:

So very true, he has definately been getting some attitude from a few parents, one DCD even shook his had extremely hard, showing him to man up I guess. I told him the pitfalls of working in a womens field, so he is aware and up for the challenge. Alyhough I never considered that women would think he is looking for a date:: god point, I will mention it to him. He will find hysterical!

If he didn't already he needs to tell his supervisor ASAP. This is no different that a DCP using a racial, ethnic, or religious slur at a staff. None of those should be tolerated either. Even if he shrugs it off (usually what I did too in annoying situations) they need to be made aware of it. Because unless this was some weird attempt at a joke that DCM realizes later was inappropriate there will be another issue at another time.
I think he should mention it too, most of the things I would let roll but to me those kind ofremarks cross the line. This is his second summer here and hopefully his last.

Sounds like he handled it just about as well as could be done. Good news is about 75% of people have no issue with men in ECE. of the 25% that do 10-15% can accept it or at least shut up about their problems. It's the 10-15% that are complete and total a@@holes about it that will drive him nuts every so often.

Thank you for sharing these facts, I will pass them on. I truly hope there is more acceptance for men in this field, So many kids need and benefit from male role models in their environments away from home. There are some DCM's that seem to truly appreciate him and the kids think he is awesome. And the staff well...frankly I thimk they take advantage of him but he is getting valuable experience!

Tell Him good luck for me. Hope otherwise he's enjoying himself.[/QUOTE

I will, and thanks again. It's good to hear experiences from other men in this field, I think he will be a great teacher one day! He goes back to school in the fall and has a job lined up at a K-8 montessori school in a nice area near the college. He is loving school and made some great friends there last year, So he is looking forward to this next year once he is done with his current job!

[DaveA]

My son is working on his ECE degree and working at a very difficult center this summer. He greeted DCM at dropoff, she said hello and commented on his orange shorts. Then called him a faggot as she was walking away! I am livid at the ignorance of this woman. Luckily he has a thick skin and good sense of humor ( and a hot, smart girlfriend). He replied in a high feminine voice "guiltyyyy". Honestly, what's the matter with people?

Wow does that bring back a ton of bad memories of a particular center I worked at. Ouch

Was that a REALLY bad attempt at a joke, was she mad at him, or was she just being an a@@clown? Either way totally out of line. I've been there although no one has ever said THAT word to my face. But I've had DCPs, coworkers, and others assume I was gay and tell me how stunned they were when they find out I have a wife and kids. For people who have issues with men in ECE it is a common thought about any guy working in ECE. Pretty lousy logic: guys don't want to work with kids=guys who want to work with kids must not be "real men"= guys who work with kids must be gay. Stupid I know. Strangely enough one of the other big assumptions was that I was just trying to meet women. :confused:

If he didn't already he needs to tell his supervisor ASAP. This is no different that a DCP using a racial, ethnic, or religious slur at a staff. None of those should be tolerated either. Even if he shrugs it off (usually what I did too in annoying situations) they need to be made aware of it. Because unless this was some weird attempt at a joke that DCM realizes later was inappropriate there will be another issue at another time.

Sounds like he handled it just about as well as could be done. Good news is about 75% of people have no issue with men in ECE. of the 25% that do 10-15% can accept it or at least shut up about their problems. It's the 10-15% that are complete and total a@@holes about it that will drive him nuts every so often.

Tell Him good luck for me. Hope otherwise he's enjoying himself.

[Janiam]

My son is working on his ECE degree and working at a very difficult center this summer. He greeted DCM at dropoff, she said hello and commented on his orange shorts. Then called him a faggot as she was walking away! I am livid at the ignorance of this woman. Luckily he has a thick skin and good sense of humor ( and a hot, smart girlfriend). He replied in a high feminine voice "guiltyyyy". Honestly, what's the matter with people?

[MsLisa]

My vacation starts Saturday (18th to the 25th) and I'm excited not to have work for a week....but it's also making me anxious.

I trust (for the most part) that my only assistant will handle everything with no problem. My boss will be in and out to help if she needs it. Our job is ridiculously simple so I shouldn't worry a bit.... I'm just so use to being there!

I'm the one the parents come to and know really well. I'm the one the kids call for, talk to, and favor. I am highly respected and run the room basically. They barely acknowledge her unless i'm in the bathroom, even then I hear "MS.LISA!!!" down the hall. How are the kids going to handle just her?

To hand my power over just for 5 days is making me soooo uncomfortable.

[Play Care]

I am really low in the summer (which I plan for because I like lower numbers in the summer) However this summer I mainly have one family - three boys. The older two are very active and need lots of activity. The younger one is only 13 months...

I am constantly having to send the older two outside because even with set up/specific activity they are loud, and unable to keep still, on task, etc. I strongly suspect this will be the year that older boy is told to see the doc about some of his issues - his K teacher was hippy dippy so a lot of his K issues were blamed on her inability to deal with kids. This year he's having a battle axe of a teacher with a SPED background. I suspect his school honeymoon will be over
I can not have them here next year but need to find other kids to have - hard since I have mostly teachers kid...

[MsLisa]

I let my boss know on Monday that my Assistant and I will be splitting our shifts to better accommodate our lives. Her to take mornings and I take the evenings. Being its just gathering kids and putting them off and on the summer camp bus, our numbers are under ratio and the kids are super well behaved. Me and my co-worker had it very well planned out and my boss was all for it. The only hiccup would be the gathering of the pre-k kids in the morning, as they need to be taken and watched for until the teachers come (7:30am to 8am) away from the SA kids. My boss said he would handle it and it will all work out.... Cool right?

WRONG! Today my co-worker asks the Pre-K teacher if they have all that figured out so that we don't have to worry about it come Monday. NOPE. She knew NOTHING about it. My boss had ALL WEEK to figure/talk/plan that out and chose to not deal with it till today, FRIDAY. WTF! I'm not going to leave my Assistant to deal with possible chaos on Monday so I told my boss forget it. Keep it all as is. I rather run a tight ship then put up with his inability to do basic things.

Sometimes I hate having a boss that's only 26. He blows so much smoke up my butt. I am a stickler for structure, order and having things run smoothly. My program is the best it's ever been and now I am sacrificing sleep and family time for it.
I can now see why no one ever makes it past a year.....
(My year mark is Oct.)

His solutions so far....open at 7am instead of 6:30am. Oh joy! A whole half hour. -eye roll-

OP (Stephanie) here, forgot to log in.

I should've clarified, it was the end of the day when she was crying constantly, about a half hour before she was going to be picked up, so I knew she would be going home soon anyway. If that hadn't been the case, I definitely would've called Mom! Usually dcg does well after her nap but in that last 30-45 minutes before she gets picked up sometimes it can get rough.

And PP, yep I work at a center. I won't see Mom again until Mon since dcg is part-time but on Mon I will ask about using the Nuk when she gets so fussy.

[Thriftylady]

I know you aren't looking for advice but why did you keep the child for so long if she was that upset or whiney?

If a child was behaving that way and it was out of character for her (even if you know its because of her Nuk or not having it) then I would call for pick up.

Because you shouldn't have to listen to her kid cry and whine all day. ....and neither should the others.

Stop allowing the mom to dictate your day.

ANY time a child requires MORE care and attention than I am able to give, I will call for pick up. I will not sacrifice the sanity or safety of the other kids because of one child or one child's parents' choice.

I get the impression from the post the OP is at a center who likely won't allow her to send the child home. But in home daycare, I would!

[Blackcat31]

So dcg 15 mos is new to toddler room in the last couple of weeks. It's a long day for her, almost 10 hrs, and she gets fussy in the morning before nap and usually in the last hour of the day before she gets picked up.

Today was probably the worst, she cried CONSTANTLY and was only soothed by being picked up, and sometimes not even then! So obviously I can't hold her all day, and no other toy/activity was interesting to her, so I took the pacifier from the top of her cubby and gave it to her as a last resort after fussing and crying for 30+ mins.

Now Mom has never brought in a pacifier before and she hasn't used one since she started in the toddler room. I wasn't there when she was dropped off so I don't know if or what was said about it.

Mom comes in to pick up and says "Why do you have your nuk?" in an irritated voice. What?! Well if you didn't want her to have it WHY DID YOU BRING IT? Why do I have to spend all my time trying to soothe your child at the expense of the other kids? So I have to listen to crying and whining but you don't? It just irritates me when parents expect us to do all the hard work when I know they "give in" at home, i.e. want them in underwear at daycare but wear diapers at home

Not looking for advice or anything, this just frustrated me and I knew you all would understand!

I know you aren't looking for advice but why did you keep the child for so long if she was that upset or whiney?

If a child was behaving that way and it was out of character for her (even if you know its because of her Nuk or not having it) then I would call for pick up.

Because you shouldn't have to listen to her kid cry and whine all day. ....and neither should the others.

Stop allowing the mom to dictate your day.

ANY time a child requires MORE care and attention than I am able to give, I will call for pick up. I will not sacrifice the sanity or safety of the other kids because of one child or one child's parents' choice.

[stephanie]

"Why do you have your nuk?" grr

So dcg 15 mos is new to toddler room in the last couple of weeks. It's a long day for her, almost 10 hrs, and she gets fussy in the morning before nap and usually in the last hour of the day before she gets picked up.

Today was probably the worst, she cried CONSTANTLY and was only soothed by being picked up, and sometimes not even then! So obviously I can't hold her all day, and no other toy/activity was interesting to her, so I took the pacifier from the top of her cubby and gave it to her as a last resort after fussing and crying for 30+ mins.

Now Mom has never brought in a pacifier before and she hasn't used one since she started in the toddler room. I wasn't there when she was dropped off so I don't know if or what was said about it.

Mom comes in to pick up and says "Why do you have your nuk?" in an irritated voice. What?! Well if you didn't want her to have it WHY DID YOU BRING IT? Why do I have to spend all my time trying to soothe your child at the expense of the other kids? So I have to listen to crying and whining but you don't? It just irritates me when parents expect us to do all the hard work when I know they "give in" at home, i.e. want them in underwear at daycare but wear diapers at home

Not looking for advice or anything, this just frustrated me and I knew you all would understand!

[MsLisa]

How rude!

What I find amusing is what parents expect to get for what they pay us...We are sending younger DD to a "camp" next week and they do a LOT with the kids (frankly more than I could ever hope to offer). It looks as though it will be a very busy, fun day. Buuuut it's more than double of what I charge for FT care...And it's only for SA kids. I'll admit I'm a bit jealous

As someone who sends 14-16 SA kids to their big fancy camp every morning....don't be jealous. Its not always what it appears. The kids tell me everything about the camp and not all of it is sugar and unicorns.....
These kids want to spend time with their parents more than anything. Sure these camps burn their little energies to E, do fun things and offer a lot... but they crave 1-on-1 interaction more. I've had kids fake sick not to go or tell me they want to stay with me cause they are tired of being shipped off. Its really sad sometimes.

[Blackcat31]

Yes. I understand childcare is a large bill. I get that, if you think it's SO much money you are more then welcome to take in kids and make the "big bucks" as well. But remember I don't get sick days, paid vacation, if I get a sub in it costs me more then I'm paid, I work 50 hours a week. I have to take costs of food, supplies, lights, field trips etc out of my "big bucks". Dcm complained for 15 minutes about how expensive childcare is.

"Child care IS expensive but quality care is priceless"

My ONLY response. Repeated as necessary.

[Play Care]

Yes. I understand childcare is a large bill. I get that, if you think it's SO much money you are more then welcome to take in kids and make the "big bucks" as well. But remember I don't get sick days, paid vacation, if I get a sub in it costs me more then I'm paid, I work 50 hours a week. I have to take costs of food, supplies, lights, field trips etc out of my "big bucks". Dcm complained for 15 minutes about how expensive childcare is.

How rude!

What I find amusing is what parents expect to get for what they pay us...We are sending younger DD to a "camp" next week and they do a LOT with the kids (frankly more than I could ever hope to offer). It looks as though it will be a very busy, fun day. Buuuut it's more than double of what I charge for FT care...And it's only for SA kids. I'll admit I'm a bit jealous

[Onawhim]

Yes. I understand childcare is a large bill. I get that, if you think it's SO much money you are more then welcome to take in kids and make the "big bucks" as well. But remember I don't get sick days, paid vacation, if I get a sub in it costs me more then I'm paid, I work 50 hours a week. I have to take costs of food, supplies, lights, field trips etc out of my "big bucks". Dcm complained for 15 minutes about how expensive childcare is.

[childcaremom]

Is it a full moon? Please tell me it has passed.

Dcg5 has been so whiny and argumentative this week with the others. Blech. I set up new activities in the yard, which normally she is all over, and she couldn't get along with the others long enough to stay at a station with them. She broke toys from 2 stations (ok, they were cheapie, but still) and has been a puddle of whine every.single.time. something has not gone her way.

Dcb3 has taken to telling me that he doesn't want to come here anymore. Fine, I get it, you'd rather be at the cottage (wouldn't we all?) but I don't need to hear 50 times a day that you don't want to be here. And he has resorted to language that is completely inappropriate and that I haven't seen since he started. Seriously? You know my rules.

Today is a new day.