Venting Thread

[CountryRoads]

Dcm forgot to put underwear...on her 4 year old...who is also wearing a dress :confused:

[Josiegirl]

Every year, I have families that are gone for several days because they take a vacation.

But as soon as MY family decides to take a vacation, it's annoyed looks, comments, and awkwardness. Like I'm not allowed to have a life outside of daycare because it's an inconvenience to them.

Like it's somehow my fault that they don't have back-up care.


Why is it a double standard? :dislike:

That used to frustrate me too. The last several years I had great understanding families. But before that, if I wasn't available all the time they let me know with all their whining and 'oh no, whatever shall *I* do?' I got to the point where I didn't care, wasn't my problem.

Blackcat, if I die and come back as another ccprovider, I want to be just like you.

[Blackcat31]

I do this as well. I’m often commenting and praising the kids who follow the rules rather than getting after those who do little things that are wrong. If a couple of kids are messing around with each other during circle time I might say something like “look how nice and quiet John and Suzie are being. Sitting like big kids, voices off, listening to Ms. Ceri.” Usually everyone else follows suit.
It’s the aggressive behaviors that are hard to deal with. When he gets upset or frustrated he becomes aggressive towards others. I’ve tried telling him that it’s okay to be upset or angry but that he needs to just take some deep breaths and calm down before reacting. Does kicking another child really help even if the other child grabbed his green crayon? How else could he have solved the problem.

Aggressive behaviors are common for littles with limited verbal skills and those with delayed development but at 4 it is unacceptable for him to behave that way.

The FIRST time he was aggressive towards another child, he would be immediately separated from the others (except when he is directly by my side). He would shadow me all day and would need to earn back his right to play with the others.

A documented report would be sent home to the parents as well. I would outline the possibility of termination should the behavior continue.

The FIRST time he hit/kicked or became aggressive towards myself or another adult, he would be sent home immediately. Three times and he would be terminated.

Aggressive and violent behavior is not something I am willing to tolerate nor correct without the lead from a parent. I will support and assist the parent in teaching their child to use alternate methods of expression but I will not do it alone nor will I shoulder the bulk of the responsibility.

I am sorry you are dealing with this issue.
It's one of the toughest we deal with in group care but it's also one that isn't taken seriously enough by adults IMPO and that is part of the issue as well.

[CountryRoads]

Every year, I have families that are gone for several days because they take a vacation.

But as soon as MY family decides to take a vacation, it's annoyed looks, comments, and awkwardness. Like I'm not allowed to have a life outside of daycare because it's an inconvenience to them.

Like it's somehow my fault that they don't have back-up care.

Why is it a double standard? :dislike:

[CeriBear]

IIRC, Blackcat does something like this: Overly praise the others that are following your rules while ignoring his bad behavior(unless he's physical). Then when he chooses to follow the rules, praise him as well.

Correct me if I'm wrong; BC had a much better way of telling it.

I do this as well. I’m often commenting and praising the kids who follow the rules rather than getting after those who do little things that are wrong. If a couple of kids are messing around with each other during circle time I might say something like “look how nice and quiet John and Suzie are being. Sitting like big kids, voices off, listening to Ms. Ceri.” Usually everyone else follows suit.
It’s the aggressive behaviors that are hard to deal with. When he gets upset or frustrated he becomes aggressive towards others. I’ve tried telling him that it’s okay to be upset or angry but that he needs to just take some deep breaths and calm down before reacting. Does kicking another child really help even if the other child grabbed his green crayon? How else could he have solved the problem.

[Josiegirl]

I have a 4 year old who is constantly pushing my buttons with his behavior. Normally I don’t let the children’s actions get to me but this kid is making me go nuts. He can be sweet at times but when something upsets him he acts aggressive either toward himself, another child, or me. Yesterday, he kicked my assistant, slapped at me, kicked a table, and threw a toy at another child. He can’t sit still at circle time or stay focused on any activity other than running on the playground. I can handle kids who are stubborn but his aggressiveness worries me. I’ve spoken to his parents and they say when he reacts like this he is given a time out or a privilege taken away but time outs don’t work for him at school. He won’t sit quietly and he doesn’t seem to learn from them. Nor does taking away a privilege such as being “line leader” or telling him “no block area.”

IIRC, Blackcat does something like this: Overly praise the others that are following your rules while ignoring his bad behavior(unless he's physical). Then when he chooses to follow the rules, praise him as well.

Correct me if I'm wrong; BC had a much better way of telling it.

[CeriBear]

I have a 4 year old who is constantly pushing my buttons with his behavior. Normally I don’t let the children’s actions get to me but this kid is making me go nuts. He can be sweet at times but when something upsets him he acts aggressive either toward himself, another child, or me. Yesterday, he kicked my assistant, slapped at me, kicked a table, and threw a toy at another child. He can’t sit still at circle time or stay focused on any activity other than running on the playground. I can handle kids who are stubborn but his aggressiveness worries me. I’ve spoken to his parents and they say when he reacts like this he is given a time out or a privilege taken away but time outs don’t work for him at school. He won’t sit quietly and he doesn’t seem to learn from them. Nor does taking away a privilege such as being “line leader” or telling him “no block area.”

[Ms.Kay]

Hopefully you are too full to take them back...

full....with a waiting list!!!😈😈

[Blackcat31]

Parents who were the first to bail...now wanting to come back....Squawking at their "new rate".......priceless!!!!!!!!!

Hopefully you are too full to take them back...

[Ms.Kay]

Parents who were the first to bail...now wanting to come back....Squawking at their "new rate".......priceless!!!!!!!!!

[CountryRoads]

Passive aggressive comments about my closures.

:dislike:

[e.j.]

I'd just hand her a box of gloves and a bottle of hand soap when she enters then tell her to adapt. Of course, mine would expect that from me. ::

I was thinking along the same lines only I'm stingier and would have handed her one pair of gloves instead of the whole box. I wouldn't be too happy about it though. Gloves are still difficult, if not impossible, to find around here. If EEC expects us to figure out how to have enough gloves in supply to use during the day care day, the least they can do is hold their licensors to the same standard if they're going to resume visits.

[Cat Herder]

Ugh! My inspector is out of her mind! She sent a letter saying inspections will resume. She will wear a mask but doesn't have gloves so she can't touch our paper work. She needs the providers help by holding up each paper in the kids files and files of anyone living in the home. Ummm no way would that work I have nine kids to keep an eye on. If you can't do inspections as you normally would then maybe you shouldn't be doing them during a pandemic.

I'd just hand her a box of gloves and a bottle of hand soap when she enters then tell her to adapt. Of course, mine would expect that from me. ::

I was inspected earlier in the week through a two-step virtual and paperwork submission process. I was dreading it but it ended up being quite painless.

[Blackcat31]

So frustrating when dcps "forget" about my closures. How many times do I need to remind them?!

I always get asked, "what day was it again?" even after sending out 2 reminders and telling them in person.

Had a different dcp forget I was closed one day last week. "Are you closed tomorrow? I just remembered a second ago." Yes, dcm. It was on the summer schedule, the newsletter, the menu, and we discussed it face to face

You do know this (bolded) is why they forget.

Stop reminding and discussing it so much. I wouldn't bother remembering anything if someone else was so quick to remind me or answer when I ask. Why take the time to track info like that if someone else will simply do it for me?

I send everyone a yearly calendar with closed days highlighted. I also list it in the handbook and seasonal newsletters. etc

When a parent asks I reply "The information is listed in several places. If you are unable to locate any of the printed materials I provided let me know and I can print off another calendar for you. I will add the reprint fee to your weekly invoice."

Providing information they can easily figure out on their own is not a service I provide.

[Blackcat31]

Ugh! My inspector is out of her mind! She sent a letter saying inspections will resume. She will wear a mask but doesn't have gloves so she can't touch our paper work. She needs the providers help by holding up each paper in the kids files and files of anyone living in the home. Ummm no way would that work I have nine kids to keep an eye on. If you can't do inspections as you normally would then maybe you shouldn't be doing them during a pandemic.

My licensor basically sent the same notice. I don't see an issue with it and I have 12 kids by myself. (all under under age 6)

I sit at the table with my licensor and talk with her without interruptions from any of the kids, aside from minor things.

Having "visitors" in child care is a great way for the kids to learn about being polite and respectful when adults are talking.