Venting Thread

[sharlan]

Why do these DCP think that we provider's are open 24/7 and sit around all day long to wait for them to arrive or depart??????


A dcf I keep schedule is changing. I was aware of this bc dcm attends school & needed to transfer to another college- 1 1/2 hours away. So that would be 3 hours per day of drive time!!!!! Well the kicker is she needs drop-off at 7am on some days & 6am on others. My business hours are 7:30am-4:30pm.

Thank you DCM for taking me into consideration when scheduling your classes!!!! I am not open at that time & will probably lose this dcf if I don't do it. I can't really afford to lose them. She doesn't care how it effects me bc she has a center where she can take them if I can't keep them.

I guess I will look to replace them, at least I have until the end of March.

Nothing against you, but, I really doubt any parent would be able to take your hours into consideration when scheduling classes. Classes are offered at certain times and students have no power over them. As we often say, the parents' problems are not ours. And in reverse, our problems are not theirs. If you cannot accomodate this parent's changes, then let them know so that they can find a provider who can.

My daughter often had to take early morning and late evening classes during the same semester because that was the only time the classes she needed were scheduled.

[wahmof3]

Nothing against you, but, I really doubt any parent would be able to take your hours into consideration when scheduling classes. Classes are offered at certain times and students have no power over them. As we often say, the parents' problems are not ours. And in reverse, our problems are not theirs. If you cannot accomodate this parent's changes, then let them know so that they can find a provider who can.

My daughter often had to take early morning and late evening classes during the same semester because that was the only time the classes she needed were scheduled.

I get what you say, but in the 5+ years I have done this I have had students, and never have had a scheduling conflict. My problem is she is choosing to drive 1 1/2 hours one way away, knowing that she will have a 3 hour drive time, it would have been nice if she would've talked to me before scheduling. When she first decided to transfer to this new college she told me her classes would be mid-morning to early afternoons. Which would work. But yes, I will probably have to give her notice because I won't be able to do it. And really, no matter how many times in the past I have told her my operating hours, she doesn't care- it won't effect her. She will just take them to the center she moved them from when she moved. So it doesn't effect her. So I vented & I will deal with it like I always do, yay me.

[momma2girls]

I have one family, who's little boy has been coughing terribly for over 2 weeks now- I tell the mom his cough is getting worse. She brings him cough syrup, for me to give him, if he needs it. Also has thick, green nasal drainage and has for a couple of days. I tell her, he is not allowed to come back til he sees a DR. She came the next am, I couldn't believe it!! She said I am sorry, but I am calling today to see if we can get in to the DR. She calls and is going to come and pick him up at 10:30 for an 11:00 appt.
She asks on the phone, if she can bring him back- I say "NO" I actually have it in my contract only one drop off and pick up per day anyway. She calls that evening, and says he is on an ATB, I will be bringing him back tomorrow. I say "he cannot return for 24 hrs. after starting the ATB- he didn't start it til 3:00 that afternoon!! UGHH!!!!! THe nerve of some parents!!!! UGHH!!!!! SO of course he is back today, he looks better, and sounds a little better. Let's hope the day goes well, or she will be receiving a phone call!! This little boy is a child that is SICK all the time!! It's getting very old!! He is transferring it all the time, to everyone else here in daycare, and my own children!!

[mema]

Drop in DCG comes in smelling horribly of perfume. Either she got into mom's bottle or was standing around mom when she was spraying, but boy is it strong. She's only been here an hour and my head already hurts. I can usually take some smell, but man oh man is this stuff strong. She is currently in someone else spare t-shirt since mom didn't pack spare clothes and her stuff is in the wash-coat and all. She also came with her bottle this morning (she's 2)-that went directly to her bag. Happy Friday-hoping the headache doesn't get worse-not the way I want to start my weekend.

[greenhouse]

Drop in DCG comes in smelling horribly of perfume. Either she got into mom's bottle or was standing around mom when she was spraying, but boy is it strong. She's only been here an hour and my head already hurts. I can usually take some smell, but man oh man is this stuff strong. She is currently in someone else spare t-shirt since mom didn't pack spare clothes and her stuff is in the wash-coat and all. She also came with her bottle this morning (she's 2)-that went directly to her bag. Happy Friday-hoping the headache doesn't get worse-not the way I want to start my weekend.

I hate perfume and cologne. Hubby and I got tickets to a show- out first night out in a year, and the man sitting next to me for two hours reeked of cologne. I had such a headache when we left.

[LittleD]

cr4ptastic day

So yesterday, I get a text saying that M.'s cough was really bad last night, and that she may stay home that day, she's really phlemy. 10 mins later:

I get another text that if she stops coughing she'll bring M in 1.5 or 2 hrs from the time of the text. I say ok, keep me posted. 2 hrs 45 mins go by (almost lunch)

I get a text saying "M had a little laydown and seems good to go, I can drop M off shortly and pick up at 4 so I can get get my errands runs." Now I don't answer because I am kind of upset that M had a nap and then is being dumped on me because even tho the child isn't feeling well, Mom decides errands need to be run.

10 mins after the text, mom comes waltzing in! I hadn't even responded! I inquire about the nap, and she says "Oh I don't know if she slept, I was in the bathroom getting ready. M was laying down with a bottle, blankie and soother."(all of which M has gotten rid of here!) M has a soother when mom comes in (so the child doesn't cry because M is feeling unwell???)

20 mins later, M has an explosive poop that not only went throu the diaper, and pants, but all over the floor!! OMG, I was soooooo mad! I texted mom to let her know one more poop like that and she has to pick M up. Mom says ok let me know!

fast forward 45 mins (30 mins past reg nap time as I'm running steam cleaner ) M is 1st to fall asleep Mom texts saying ""I'm gonna cme get M now."" I reply I just laid them down, M might even be sleeping. ""ok" mom says "I'll get M at 3" regular pick up is 4pm :confused: But I'm thinking if M is awake, fine come now, one less cranky kid to handle!

I go and check, Yep, asleep, but oops I just woke the baby So I tell mom and she says ""text me when M is up, I'll come then" Arrg ok fine! Give M a chance to do the valentine craft that was missed this morning.

They wake up late (fell asleep late) does the craft, was going to text mom just before snack, but oh look! Who's at the door?

I say I was going to text you soon, just wanted M to have a chance to do the craft. Mom says Öh I realized how late it was(3:30), we have a basketball game to go to at 4pm.

I was thrown off my whole day schedule because of this mom, being all wishy washy allllll day! Still waiting to see if she is bringing M today

Sorry so long, but I was so upset over this! Oh, and today, the 2 oldest boys thought it would be funny to 'hide' from the bus, well it worked! The bus drove riiiiiight past! Luckily my oldest son was still here, he walked them to school!

[Hunni Bee]

So there's a tummy bug going around, apparently. Yesterday, one of 4 year olds who's in pre-k had a poop accident in his underwear. He still does this on occasion, but when I peeked at it, it was diarrhea. He also has no extra clothes and I've sent all my extra clothes for boys home on him, only to see him wearing them later like they are his own clothing.

He proceeds to tell me he threw up twice the day before at home and had diarrhea.

So I only have a girl's pullup and girl's pants to put on him. I call Mom's cell, no answer. Dad's cell, no answer. Mom's job, its a coporate number and I don't kow her extension. He didn't seem to feel bad, and had an appetite, so I gave it up. I sent home a paper saying if any child had vomiting or diarrhea in the past 24 hours, they need to stay home. I filled out a sick sheet for him, saying he needed to stay out til Thursday and he MUST bring a set of extra clothes.

Fast forward to this afternoon. Mom calls me upteen times from her work number (oh now it works!) but I didn't hear it, I was doing lunch. And of course I can't call her back. At 2:25 the van driver informs me that she was instructed to pick up dcb as usual by the Director. The mom, after not reaching me, called the director with some sob story about not being able to pick him up from school and could he please come, despite having had diarrhea on himself the day before. And my Director allowed it.

Just another foot in my behind pushing me out the door. She acts like she trusts our judgement to do the right things for the best interest of the children, but overrides us at the drop of a hat to please a pissy parent. Ugh.

[SilverSabre25]

I am so tired. So very, very tired.

My wrist hurts and that's making it difficult to do my job.

Everyone is fighting this morning.

I just want to crawl back into bed. Or have a day of being responsible for no one and nothing but myself...that would be brilliant.

[wahmof3]

I am so tired. So very, very tired.

My wrist hurts and that's making it difficult to do my job.

Everyone is fighting this morning.

I just want to crawl back into bed. Or have a day of being responsible for no one and nothing but myself...that would be brilliant.

Sounds like my house today!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MrsB]

ugggh

So I him-hawed about whether to close today or not and decided I didnt want to leave anyone without care so......

I am trying to look on the brightside that it is a 3 day weekend, but ALL the kids must have stayed up all night! Bad moods every where I turn, including me.

My guess, kids didnt have a normal bedtime last night cause none of my parents went to work this morning. I really dont mind watching kids when the parents dont work, but get peeved when they dont follow the kids normal schedule and pass them off to me all discombobulated (sp?), grumpy, or overslept.

Here's to hoping they all take really good naps!

[RPrunell]

1 year old came to dc today without a diaper bag. Why did I let the mom drop off her kid without a diaper bag?

[trish1980]

Sticky Situation....

I have had a child in my care for 3 months now. He is almost 3 years old. He is affecting the other children in my care. He is very abusive to me and to them and screams and cries all day. Mom was recently approached by his previous caregiver about him possibly having a problem. He is in the process of being tested for autism. Mom dropped him off this morning and made the comment that I was very good at concealing his behavior from her. I am very upset by this statement because I feel I have told her every time there was an issue. I did not come right out and say I think he is autistic. At first I thought he had seperation anxiety and was willing to work through it. It has become far more than I can handle and I have other children in my care to consider. I have included a list of the behavior issues for comment. I must give them notice. I do not know where to begin. I feel I have to be very careful with this situation. I desperately need help composing my termination letter.

In the morning when he is dropped off he cries and screams. This isn't all the time, but it happens a lot. Most children only had separation anxiety for the first couple of days or weeks. It has been months for him.

Leaving to go home in the evening is a tough transition too. He cries and whines and wants to be carried. I have begun to wonder if it is because he doesn't want to walk down stairs for fear of falling.

When I am preparing meals he sits at the table and watches me. I tell him to go play and he repeats me go play. He runs to look at other children and then quickly runs back to table. Almost like he forgot what he was doing. If he has to sit in another chair other than the one he is used to, he throws a tantrum and cries. I've noticed that he throws his plate on the floor, but only if there are peas on it. Peas seem to trigger something he doesn't like. Sometimes when he is eating his body shakes. I have only noticed it when we are sitting down not standing or playing. When I wash his face with a washcloth after meals he screams and pinches my arm. I do it as gentle as
possible and he still does not like his face touched. Recently he has started to spit his food out. I haven't noticed it being a specific food.

He has a hard time with any transition (cleaning up, moving on to a new activity, parents coming) anything that is different. When we transition to anything he screams, cries and whines. Any change for him causes great fear. If he does not want to do something, he hits whatever is close to him. He hits the table in a demanding manner or the nearest friend.

I recently rearranged the playroom and I could not get him to go in it. It took a lot of encouragement and he can finally play in there. When parents come to pick up their children he holds his right hand over his forehead and begins to shake and sometimes closes his eyes or rolls them back into his head.

Going potty is hit or miss with him. Some days he is great and cooperative and other days he screams and cries when I take him to the bathroom. He has not ever told me he needs to go or expressed feelings about it. I change all diapers with gloves and he is really afraid of them. The entire time I am changing him he cries, fights, kicks, wiggles and does not take his eyes off of the gloves. He has a look of fear on his face. I have tried changing without the gloves and he still fights and kicks and moves without the crying and fear of the gloves.

He does not engage with other children and isolates himself almost 100% of the time.

He is very attached to certain toys and stuffed animals. He walks around with the same item in his hand all day. I've noticed that he has started talking to the stuffed animal. You cannot understand what he is saying when he is talking to it.

He seems to have irritable bowel. Some days his poop is almost diarrhea and up to five times a day.

Repeats only what you say and cannot express his own feelings.

Repeats the same sentence or words several times even if I have responded already.

Does not remember that an action is wrong even though he has sat in time out for the same action several times.

He seems very clumsy. He is always falling. When we are outside playing he seems very confused. I have to direct him to the slide in order for him to play. And he stays on the slide until I move him to another toy. He has a hard time making his own decision to play with something different. Going up and down the stairs is very hard for him and he almost always has to be carried up or down. If I do not carry him he stands at the top or bottom of the stairs and screams.

It is very hard to get through to him. He seems to look at you but right through you.

He is very smart when it comes to letters, numbers and music. He is drawn to any toy that involves these 3 things and far surpasses the other children his age when it comes to knowing his letters, sounds and numbers.

[SilverSabre25]

Dear DCB,

I know that you are only three years old...

but really, just because you want to play with [cars] and dcg is playing with [Legos], does NOT mean that dcg has to put away the Legos YOU are NOT playing with!!! Go play with cars; let her be in her own space playing with Legos. You can do whatever you want...unless it interferes with the happy playing of someone else.

Kthx.

[SilverSabre25]

I have had a child in my care for 3 months now. He is almost 3 years old. He is affecting the other children in my care. He is very abusive to me and to them and screams and cries all day. Mom was recently approached by his previous caregiver about him possibly having a problem. He is in the process of being tested for autism. Mom dropped him off this morning and made the comment that I was very good at concealing his behavior from her. I am very upset by this statement because I feel I have told her every time there was an issue. I did not come right out and say I think he is autistic. At first I thought he had seperation anxiety and was willing to work through it. It has become far more than I can handle and I have other children in my care to consider. I have included a list of the behavior issues for comment. I must give them notice. I do not know where to begin. I feel I have to be very careful with this situation. I desperately need help composing my termination letter.

In the morning when he is dropped off he cries and screams. This isn't all the time, but it happens a lot. Most children only had separation anxiety for the first couple of days or weeks. It has been months for him.

Leaving to go home in the evening is a tough transition too. He cries and whines and wants to be carried. I have begun to wonder if it is because he doesn't want to walk down stairs for fear of falling.

When I am preparing meals he sits at the table and watches me. I tell him to go play and he repeats me go play. He runs to look at other children and then quickly runs back to table. Almost like he forgot what he was doing. If he has to sit in another chair other than the one he is used to, he throws a tantrum and cries. I've noticed that he throws his plate on the floor, but only if there are peas on it. Peas seem to trigger something he doesn't like. Sometimes when he is eating his body shakes. I have only noticed it when we are sitting down not standing or playing. When I wash his face with a washcloth after meals he screams and pinches my arm. I do it as gentle as
possible and he still does not like his face touched. Recently he has started to spit his food out. I haven't noticed it being a specific food.

He has a hard time with any transition (cleaning up, moving on to a new activity, parents coming) anything that is different. When we transition to anything he screams, cries and whines. Any change for him causes great fear. If he does not want to do something, he hits whatever is close to him. He hits the table in a demanding manner or the nearest friend.

I recently rearranged the playroom and I could not get him to go in it. It took a lot of encouragement and he can finally play in there. When parents come to pick up their children he holds his right hand over his forehead and begins to shake and sometimes closes his eyes or rolls them back into his head.

Going potty is hit or miss with him. Some days he is great and cooperative and other days he screams and cries when I take him to the bathroom. He has not ever told me he needs to go or expressed feelings about it. I change all diapers with gloves and he is really afraid of them. The entire time I am changing him he cries, fights, kicks, wiggles and does not take his eyes off of the gloves. He has a look of fear on his face. I have tried changing without the gloves and he still fights and kicks and moves without the crying and fear of the gloves.

He does not engage with other children and isolates himself almost 100% of the time.

He is very attached to certain toys and stuffed animals. He walks around with the same item in his hand all day. I've noticed that he has started talking to the stuffed animal. You cannot understand what he is saying when he is talking to it.

He seems to have irritable bowel. Some days his poop is almost diarrhea and up to five times a day.

Repeats only what you say and cannot express his own feelings.

Repeats the same sentence or words several times even if I have responded already.

Does not remember that an action is wrong even though he has sat in time out for the same action several times.

He seems very clumsy. He is always falling. When we are outside playing he seems very confused. I have to direct him to the slide in order for him to play. And he stays on the slide until I move him to another toy. He has a hard time making his own decision to play with something different. Going up and down the stairs is very hard for him and he almost always has to be carried up or down. If I do not carry him he stands at the top or bottom of the stairs and screams.

It is very hard to get through to him. He seems to look at you but right through you.

He is very smart when it comes to letters, numbers and music. He is drawn to any toy that involves these 3 things and far surpasses the other children his age when it comes to knowing his letters, sounds and numbers.

I wonder if you meant to post this as it's own thread. I can do that for you if you meant to.

The best termination letters are simple; "As of [date] I will no longer be able to provide services" kind of things.

As far as dcb, I think autism is probably right on the money. It's good that he's already in evaluations for it. If you truly feel that you are not equipped to handle his issues, then by all means terminate him.

Good luck.

[Blackcat31]

I wonder if you meant to post this as it's own thread. I can do that for you if you meant to.

The best termination letters are simple; "As of [date] I will no longer be able to provide services" kind of things.

As far as dcb, I think autism is probably right on the money. It's good that he's already in evaluations for it. If you truly feel that you are not equipped to handle his issues, then by all means terminate him.

Good luck.

She did actually post as a separate thread a few hours before she posted the same thing as a vent. https://www.daycare.com/forum/showth...373#post198373