Soon to Be 4 Year Old

[Liliya]

Crying on the floor for about 7 minutes now, screaming: I WANT MY BLANKET.
Yes, I took it away, because he would not listen, just bothers everyone,takes toys and runs away, I tell him stop, give it back, NO he still runs and other child runs after him crying, he never listens, I have to go over and stop him. Even then, he tries to run and do what was he doing, screaming I WANT THAT, THIS IS MINE. I put him on time out,he screams I WANT TO GO NOW, I can not say anything while he is on time out,because he is so loud and would not hear me anyway.
I do talk to him after and let him out only if he is quiet.
This is just not fair to other kids, listen him crying, plus we can not do anything while he is screaming. He is very loud. He will not participate in any group activities, just being loud and tells everyone what to do.
Some days I just want to terminate him.
He is with me since he was 18 month and always was like that, his way only.
And I thought he will grow and change, but seems like it is getting worse and sometimes not safe for others.
Please help.

[MarinaVanessa]

Wow, looks like you have your work cut out for you. Have you tried talking to the parent? Either way I would bring it up again. Maybe at home he gets to have his way all of the time and has parents that give him what he wants to pacify him. I'm blunt with my families, straight out, I'd just explain that I've discussed this with them already and nothing has changed since he began there. Since he didn't grow out of it means that he hasn't adjusted properly and bring up the fact that he's dangerous to the other kids. Make sure you use the word DANGEROUS. Maybe that will wake them up. Parents don't seem to take us seriously sometimes unless you tell them point-blank that their child is such a problem that you feel like terminating them. I'd tell them that they have to work with me so that together we can create a plan of action, not give in to him at home, discipline at home the same as in DC and being consistent. Make sure that they understand that it's so bad that you are thinking about letting them go.

As for the child ... well sometimes kids just don't understand or listen no matter how many times you talk to them.

[Liliya]

Wow, looks like you have your work cut out for you. Have you tried talking to the parent? Either way I would bring it up again. Maybe at home he gets to have his way all of the time and has parents that give him what he wants to pacify him. I'm blunt with my families, straight out, I'd just explain that I've discussed this with them already and nothing has changed since he began there. Since he didn't grow out of it means that he hasn't adjusted properly and bring up the fact that he's dangerous to the other kids. Make sure you use the word DANGEROUS. Maybe that will wake them up. Parents don't seem to take us seriously sometimes unless you tell them point-blank that their child is such a problem that you feel like terminating them. I'd tell them that they have to work with me so that together we can create a plan of action, not give in to him at home, discipline at home the same as in DC and being consistent. Make sure that they understand that it's so bad that you are thinking about letting them go.

As for the child ... well sometimes kids just don't understand or listen no matter how many times you talk to them.

Thank you,
I did talk to mom, and now I give her report every day.
She talks to him all the time,reminds him to behave.
Anyway, first day he did ok, almost perfect,then after that I think it is worse.
Mom asked me to write down what he does, I did that for couple of days.
Then I just tell her what he did, I do tell her if he did something nice for some one too, and also praise him for good behavior. But still, I feel like he does everything on purpose. Should I try ignore him? as long as he is not hurting anyone. Do you think I do not have to talk to mom in front of him? When I talk to her, she is telling him something like, see, we are talking about you. You did not do good today. Sometimes she would ask him why he did that or that? He would not talk usually, just tells her something else not related to what she was asking.
I just do not know what to do, I do not want to tell her that he is doing better, because he does not. I think he is getting no TV for tonight, because of his behavior, I will ask her tomorrow how it went.
Please anyone! If you have any suggestions, let me know.
I really want to help him and I feel for mom. I see that she tries hard. They are good family.

[Unregistered]

Wow, we have a 3 yr old who sounds just like him and his behavior, and we are at our wit's end to know what to do. He takes SO much of our attention that the other children are not getting the attention they should receive. I mean, it's constant. Not fair at all to the others. If anyone has any suggestions, it sounds like there's more than one provider who would benefit from it!

[Unregistered]

Weeell my suggestion is not to talk about the kid in front of him, tell mom that you can have a phone conference after you close or make a time to sit down with her when there are no other kids around, the dcb could be doing it for attention,the fact that he knows better and you think he does it on purpose would be an issue for me, I've only had to deal with one dcb like that and went to special training classes to learn how to deal with his behavior better and talked and talked and talked to the parents, I finally let them go because the kids behavior did not get better and the other kids were starting to complain to me about him, when it got to some of them asking if he was coming that day and being upset when they heard that yes he was thats when i let them go..I learned a lot from that family, one that it is not MY job to help anyone elses child, im here to nurture and care for them thats all, two no matter how hard it appears the dcp is helping its highly unlikely they are changing their home life and routines to better help their child adjust in dc, three if im feeling stress from dealing with a problem child then the other dcks are too and finally i realized that it really does not matter what mom and dad do at home with the kid, when he is in your house it is your rules,he is old enough to know and been there long enough to know how to follow them, i've had kids that behave horribly at home and are good here simply because i make them follow my rules, sounds to me as if this kid doesnt like your rules, his screaming would drive me bonkers and i know i would have been calling to have him picked up if he kept it up during the day, good luck
kiddie care